RIP - Beautiful Mermaid

Esther Williams passed away today at the age of 91. Her death marks another piece of my childhood drifting away into the beyond. My mom, and especially her mom my grandma Kay, LOVED Esther Williams movies. My grandmother Kay had met her sometime during the 50s at some event in Pittsburgh (she also met Jimmy Stewart at that same time). I think my grandma Kay admired Williams for being an athletic, tall, big-boned, lady with a gorgeous smile (just like her!) who capitalized on a talent that was pretty silly if you think about it, and made a whole career out of it.

All of the Esther Williams movies like "Neptune's Daughter" and "Dangerous When Wet" will forever remind me of summer days spent at my grandparent's house baking pies and cookies with my grandma, and singing songs in the living room.

I weep for those innocent times long gone.

BTdubs, have you ever seen a creepier photo than the one posted below? What. The. F*%k. is going on there?! MOVE OVER CLOWNS - I think I found my new nightmare object.

SIFF 2013 Weeks 2 and 3

My SIFF has continued over the last week and a half with a nary a dud in the bunch. I don't want to jinx anything, but this is the first time in years that I haven't been truly disappointed in at least one film.
That's not to say that I've loved everything; I haven't. But so far it has been a successful festival filled with some truly delightful film experiences.

Some reviews -

C.O.G. : On paper, this movie checked all of my boxes - Based on a David Sedaris short story, and the first time Sedaris has ever sanctioned and licensed an official adaptation of his work (check); starring the dreamy musical theater heartthrob Jonathan Groff (CHECK), with my boyfriend Corey Stoll, Denis O'Hare, and Casey Wilson in supporting roles (check); filmed on location in a part of Oregon that I'm familiar with (check); I thought that I would unequivocally love this movie. And I did love the acting performances. I just felt like the direction could've been stronger and that it let down the story a little. But given that this was only 29 yr old director Kyle Alvarez's second film, I'll grant him some slack. Also a travesty - neither Jonathan Groff nor Denis O'Hare (Tony award-winning musical theater geniuses)  got to truly sing; a missed opportunity of grave proportions.

The Punk Singer: An eye-opening and honest documentary about the life (or at least the past 25 years of it) of Kathleen Hanna, lead singer of Bikini Kill and Le Tigre, punk Riot Grrrl pioneer, wife of Adam "Ad Rock" Horovitz, and general kick-ass activist/feminist. Who knew about the true nature of her "fight" with Courtney Love all those years ago, or that she's been suffering from a debilitating form of Lyme disease for the past decade. A great archive of music history.
Bonus! - I was inspired to dig out my old Le Tigre cds. So damn good.

Atraco!: Set in Franco's Spain in the mid 1950s, this darkest of comedies from writer/director and Almodavar disciple Eduard Cortes, was just the type of Spanish film that I enjoy. The film is a fictional "what if?" telling of the events leading up to, and following the real-life theft of Eva Peron's jewels from Madrid in 1955. I thought this movie was so clever. I loved the twist on historical events.

Touchy Feely: The latest Lynn Shelton film. I personally liked her previous movie Your Sister's Sister more, but some of the performances in this one, especially from Josh Pais and Scoot McNairy, were great. It was filmed in the Capitol Hill, CD, and Madrona neighborhoods of Seattle where I live, so it was fun spotting the streets and houses that I knew.

Cutie and the Boxer: I'm not sure I can find the words to describe how much I loved this documentary about married Japanese artists Ushio and Noriko Shinohara. Director Zachary Heinzerling, who won the Directing award this year at Sundance, explores Ushio and Noriko's complicated, co-dependent relationship that is as complicated as it has been nurturing for their art careers. The doc focuses on Ushio, who at 80 years old is trying for one more successful show to seal his artistic legacy, while the 59-year-old Noriko is finally making a name for herself with her "Cutie" series of R. Crumb-like illustrations depicting her relationship with Ushio and his earlier struggles with alcoholism. Through vérité camerawork, archival footage, and animated sequences of Noriko's drawings, Cutie and the Boxer is an intimate, funny, uncompromising portrait of the Shinoharas's unique, and unconventional love story. GO SEE THIS MOVIE if you can.

Flight of the Storks: French director Jan Kounen has ambitiously brought Jean-Christophe Grangé's famous novel to the big screen. People have tried for years to adapt this mystery thriller from page to film and have never succeeded because it's hard to cut the content down to fit a movie's acceptable length. Kounen had tried to adapt the book a decade ago and could never figure out how to cut it down under 3 hours, and when he was approached by producers 10 years later to try again, he said he'd do it only if he could do it as a mini-series; but secretly dreamed of showing it on the big screen. The mini-series played on TV in France earlier this year, but SIFF got the world premier of it as a feature film. I must say that it didn't feel overly long, per se, but it was super distracting having all of the people sitting around me in the theater constantly getting up and going to the bathroom. I would love for HBO to buy the distribution rights for this so that I could watch it again in the comfort of my living room. I enjoyed the heck out of it. Especially loved Harry Treadway (Helloooooo twin brother of hottie actor Luke Treadaway) in the lead role.

Two Weddings and A Funeral: Like a wackier, Korean version of the gay classic "The Wedding Banquet". It was cute, but not that memorable.

 A Band Called Death: You guys. This documentary may have changed my life. I loved it so very much. It tells the story of the Hackney brothers David, Bobby, and Dannis who in the early 1970s started a band in their native Detroit that might have been the birth of punk rock. I can't recommend renting/buying/downloading this movie as soon as you can. Especially if you're a fan of rock music. Or family. Or a human being. Excellent.

Zaytoun:  Um, you guys? I may have voted for Stephen Dorff for Best Actor for the SIFF Audience awards. He was AMAZING in this film. He made me cry. I know, I'm just as surprised as you. The setting is war-torn Beirut in 1982. Dorff plays a downed Israeli fighter pilot who makes a deal with one of his capturers, a 12-yr old Palestinian boy named Fahed, that he will smuggle Fahed across the border and take him to his former Palestinian home if the boy helps him escape Lebanon. This movie! I had a lot of emotions about it! I don't get how Dorff can make such awful dreck for years, and do dumb commercials for electric cigarettes, and then turn around and give a performance like this. Flabbergasting.

Thérèse: Damn, this movie bugged me. Again, on paper this film should've been right up my alley. Famous filmmaker Claude Miller's last film (yes!); starring Audrey Tautou, who I've loved since her breakout turn in Amelie (Yes!); adapted from the François Mauriac's legendary 1927 novel about French provincial life (YES!). Instead, from the very first 5 minutes I was annoyed. The movie's plot takes place between 1922 and 1931, yet there were clothes, and items like bicycles and boats that seemed anachronistically out of place - I said out loud more than once "Is this supposed to be 1928 or 1958?" - that I found so irksome and it was hard for me to enjoy anything. Also, Audrey, sweetie, I love you dearly, but as gorgeous as you are, and you're beautiful, you are too long in the tooth to be playing a young lady of 21. It was almost laughable in scenes when you could see her wrinkles. Again, no hard feelings! I'm old too! I love her, but damn, come ON! Gorgeously shot though. It made me want to fly to southern France and Bordeaux immediately.

My new favorite show

Last night was the season finale of "The Americans". I couldn't believe how swiftly the season passed and how much I enjoyed every minute of every episode. I knew I was missing Keri Russell from my tv screen, but I truly didn't realize how much.
F/X has quickly become a channel that I can count on for quality programming, airing two of my top 5 television shows from the last decade (the other being Justified).

Anyway, if you missed The Americans, there's still time to catch up online or on-demand. I recommend Justified as well, but the fourth season just ended, and it's kind of important to start from at least sesaon 2 with that show in order for it to make sense. But it's worth the trouble!

Greatest Thing I've Seen This Week - the Marry me, Aaron Johnson's hair! edition

Yesterday I had the day off to attend a memorial service in the morning. As the afternoon approached, and the heat and temperature rose I decided that I should see a movie. I've been totally excited for Oliver Stone's latest outing, Savages, but none of my friends were too jazzed about it, so I decided it was the perfect choice to see by myself on a Monday early afternoon.

You guys? You guys! It's awesome. Please go see this movie. I couldn't believe how empty my theater was; true, it was a Monday, on a sunny Seattle afternoon, but I went to the Metro near UW, so I expected a bunch of college boys or at least a smattering of film nerds to join me. I was all by my lonesome until 1 minute into the film when a young guy in his early twenties came in and sat about 5 rows ahead of me.

I can't possibly do a better job at reviewing the film than the great Joe Reid did over at his blog Low Resolution; so go read his review and come back here...I'll wait.

I will just re-emphasize some of the best parts of Savages:

Salma Hayek and her GLORIOUS wigs. Those bangs! They deserve their own Oscar y'all.

Taylor Kitsch! Finally (maybe) he'll get some respect for his acting, post-FNL. I thought he was just fine in John Carter, and Battleship was just a fun, stupid action film. But Stone gave Taylor something to really work with in the character of Chon. He's complex and quietly riveting. And hello gorgeous!

Really both Taylor Kitsch and Aaron Johnson do a great job with their lead characters Chon and Ben. They're able to believably convey the deep love they feel for each other and for their shared lover O, played by Blake Lively and her legs. They manage to not make this menage a trois a silly thing; it seems totally plausible and you're rooting for their relationship the entire film.

And seriously, enough praise can never be given for Aaron Johnson's luxurious mane of bouncy curls.

Also, as Joe suggested, I would love for someone with more time on their hands than I, to come up with a Tumblr about Salma Hayek's character Marina eating lamb chops. So awesome!

YES

Is it weird that I'd like to trade places with a 9-month old cat named Choupette?

I'm in denial y'all

One of Earth's angel-voiced divas has lost her battle to cancer. I won't make any "Last Dance" comments.

"Heaven Knows" I love you Donna Summer!!!!

ONE MONTH AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

TICKETS HAVE BEEN PURCHASED!

I can't express how excited I am for this movie. Or maybe you can tell my enthusiasm from all of the exclamation points and capital letters?

Sigh...

What am I going to do without these ladies on my television screen for the next year?

I guess I'll have to find solace in the sage advice from my hero Lisa Vanderpump offered in her book on how to entertain - Simply Divine. Love her!

That voice! It will be missed.

A sampling some of my favorite Whitney Houston songs and performances - Damn, drugs are so fucking evil.


That turban! WERQ!



Why did I ever think Kevin Costner was hot in this movie?






Off her last album. God, I love her on this track. "...and I know just what to do..."

Golden Globes 2012 Fashion smashes

I liked quite a few of the outfits on the red carpet at this year's Golden Globes. I thought Angelina Jolie was perfection. Natalie Portman and Jessica Alba were also fetching in strapless gowns.

 I thought Kate Winslet looked stunning in this black and cream number. Claire Danes wore a similar look/color scheme but I didn't post her pic because she chose to bring her mom instead of her hot husband Hugh Dancy to the ceremony for me to look at.

Emma Stone and Laura Dern sported two looks that I loved but I know others felt differently.

 Finally, in my opinion Tilda Swinton rocked my world in this ice blue dress and jacket combo. I just think she's amazing.

HOW CAN I CHOOSE? Battle of the early 80s Cross-dressing Divas Edition

I have a VERY serious decision to make. Tonight, two of my all-time favorite films are each playing on the big screen. I cannot attend both screenings because I have yet to figure out the meta-physics of being able to be in two places at once.
The movies in question are 1983's Yentl, starring Barbra Streisand, and Victor/Victoria from 1982 starring Julie Andrews. I can't express how difficult a choice this is for me. Please help!

Here are the details:

In the Blue corner -

Yentl at the Central Cinema

Start time = 7pm

• Pro - Central is a drink and dine venue so I can enjoy a nice glass of cab sav and a green salad while singing along with Babs and staring lustily at Mandy Patinkin and his jew-fro and awesome facial hair.
• Another thing in this venue's favor is that it's only about a mile away from my house, so it's very convenient to get home if I've had too many glasses of wine.
• Another pro - they sell these pigs in a blanket (turkey or tofu pups also available) that are awesome. They also make incredible fresh popcorn with real butter.
• A potential con - unlike a lot of the Central Cinema screenings, I don't believe this one is a "sing-a-long"; so I may be ridiculed for belting out "The Way He Makes Me Feel" along with Barbra.

The music in Yentl is some of my favorite stuff to listen to, and especially sing along with. 13 yr old me could be found with her cassette tape of the soundtrack always in her Walkman. Yes, I was that dork. And for realz y'all, I had a HUGE crush on Mandy Patinkin. I had seen him on Broadway in Evita! a few years before and this movie, plus another Broadway experience (Sunday In The Park With George) pretty much cemented my love.

In the Red corner -

Victor/Victoria at the SIFF-Uptown

Start time = 8:45 PM

• Pro - This SIFF venue is next door to my friends John and Dan's house. So while the theater doesn't serve alcohol or non-traditional movie snacks, I can always eat and drink to my heart's content at their place and then stumble to the theater.
• I don't think I'll be any more welcome to sing out loud along with the movie here than I would be at Central Cinema.

This movie is a definitive period of childhood for me because it reminds me so much of my mother and grandmother. The three of us saw it in the theater together at the Uptown in Washington, D.C. back when they would sell soundtrack LPs and cassettes right in the lobby after the movie. I remember my mother buying the record and then a few weeks later my grandmother bought the sheet music to the songs and the three of us would spend many a weekend singing and performing the music from the movie. Years later, when they turned it into a Broadway show, a few years after my grandmother had passed away, my mom and I went to NYC to see it and we cried in the audience the whole time thinking about how much my grandmother would have enjoyed seeing Julie Andrews live.

Similarities between the two films:

• They both involve women pretending to be men in order to pursue/fulfill their dreams.
• I know every song from each movie by heart and can sing them on command, any time, any place, if asked. (and I'm in the mood)
• It's a battle royale between two of my favorite divas. Barbra vs. Julie!!! Mary Poppins vs. Fanny Brice! Maria Von Trapp vs. Esther Hoffman!

So? What should I do? WHO WILL WIN?!

"She was the best dancer at St. Bernadette's...with the worst reputation."

Annette Charles passed away from complications due to cancer at the age of 63 on August 3, 2011. She played the fucking amazing Cha Cha DiGregorio in the film Grease, and planted herself firmly in my heart as the bitch I loved to hate. Charles also played a bunch of hottie boombalatti characters in a bunch of 70s television shows ranging from Emergency! to Barnaby Jones. And she had memorable roles in a couple of my favorite episodes of Bionic Woman and Banacek.

Truth - I used to get Annette Charles mixed up with Roz Kelly, another popular character actress from 70s television who was always getting typecast as a lady with a lot of T&A. Roz of course played Pinky Tuscadero on Happy Days, among other things. It was only a couple of years ago that I realized my error.

"A lock of hair...from her chest!" 

(Screenshots courtesy of clothesonfilm.com)

Annette Charles will be sorely missed. I think I'm going to do a little handjive in her and Cha Cha's honor.

Reality TV Round-up - July 2011 Edition

As usual my Tivo is clogged with hours upon hours of reality television. Good stuff (yes, there IS good stuff) and bad stuff. Competition stuff like Big Brother, SYTYCD, and The RW/RR Challenge; fun stuff like Ice Loves Coco, Million Dollar Decorators, Roseanne Barr's new show, and candid stuff like Celebrity Rehab, and my fave 1 Girl 5 Gays. I love it all!

Here's some of what I've been watching and dissecting this month -

Roseanne's Nuts: I've never been a big Roseanne fan. I didn't watch her sitcom when it was on, and I've always found the antics surrounding her to be a little exhausting. So why the hell did I decide to record and watch the premiere of her new reality show on Lifetime? I don't know. But I'm glad I did. I love everything about it. Roseanne is now living in Hawaii with her boyfriend John on a 50 acre macadamia nut farm. She has this weird (but hilarious) hippie dude named Greg that camps on her land and that she takes care of in exchange for his calm zen-ness. In the first couple of eps, Roseanne's eldest son comes to visit from L.A. She's constantly running around on her tractor and jeep, chasing pigs or trying to kill dangerous, invasive foliage on her land; all while spouting an endless stream of curse words. She's my new hero.

Big Brother 13: As much as I love Jeff & Jordan and am excited to have them on my screen again, this season of Big Brother is already SO ANNOYING. I may only watch the Thursday live shows and catch up by reading the live feed summaries.

Million Dollar Decorators: How can the season finale for this gem already be next week?! I've tweeted my love for this show for weeks but I can't reiterate enough how much I love Ross Cassidy, project manager and boyfriend of designer Jeffrey Allan Marks (who Ross adorably calls "JAM"!). He's South African and an ex-model, and he's a ruthless task master and he is indespencible. I love his hair and the way he's always putting it up in messy ponytails or flipping it over to the side; I love his clipped accent; I love his laugh. I want Ross to live with me and yell at me to "snap out of it and get things done!" I also love me some Jacqueline, designer and textile artist Kathryn Ireland's old French housekeeper. Forget what I said about Roseanne, JACQUELINE is my hero. I want to be her when I grow up - only wear crisp white shirts and black pants, tie my hair up in fabulous Hermes scarves, have a loose interpretation of "cleaning", only cook appetizers, and drink wine all damn day. Perf. All of the designers on the show are pretty interesting. I can't wait for season 2.

Ice Loves Coco: Who knew that Ice T and Coco (I still don't know if she uses a last name; surely she doesn't go by "Coco T") could be so charming? They're a great couple. And seriously? Ice T looks so much like my friend Jim, I can't stand it. Hilarious.

Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew: Oh lerwd, this show. Sean Young makes me sad y'all. I really feel for her. Bai Ling is CRAZY. Like chemically imbalanced. I think that she needs a higher level of care than Dr. Drew (who is slowly losing boyfriend status the more he's on my tv screen) and his stupid 21 day tv treatment show can provide. I'm surprisingly sympathetic to Michael Lohan, and it's been actually nice to see Steven Adler back in rehab. Oh, and Amy Fisher is a fucking bitch.

The Challenge - Rivals (RW/RR): Kenny! What is wrong with you baby? Where's my cocky, joking, handsome, smart-ass who's quick with the quips and a challenge beast? Did that pasty, UGLY, red-headed freak Wes kill your spirit once he partnered with you? I want the goofy, hot, clever Kenny pictured below to come back onto my tv screen! In other news, shut up Johnny Bananas.

Things and things

Quick thoughts on the Season 3 Reunion of RuPaul's Drag Race:

• The prettiest queens remain Carmen Carrera, Delta Work, and Manila Luzon. These ladies really know how to consistently BRING IT. LOVE their total looks, always.
• On the other end of the spectrum - um, WTF Shangela?! Why haven't you learned how to put on makeup? Ugh. So ugly. But surprisingly Raja, make-up artist extraordinaire, didn't look good either.
• Who knew Mariah could be so charming? Can't wait for her turn (and Carmen's) on the upcoming DragU.
• Not to give her anymore thought than she deserves but, DAMN, Shangela is still the most annoying asshole on Earth.

A little more Jane...

I'm really going to miss her...

Another bad-ass big-busted babe that will be missed...

Today is the 4th anniversary of my dear mother's passing, and I am unbelievably depressed. I'm not sure why this year I'm feeling it in my bones more than last year. I should be getting over "it" by now shouldn't I? I guess I've been thinking about mortality a lot more over the past few months so her being gone seems more acute.

Jane Russell passed away last night. My mother LOVED Jane and thought she was one of the most beautiful actresses around. She thought of Jane Russell as the voluptous queen that all busty women should look up to. Of course my favorite thing that Russell ever did was Gentlemen Prefer Blondes with of course Marilyn Monroe. As a kid, I never understood why all the men in the film were gaga over Marilyn. She was pretty of course, but how could you care about her when there was Jane?!

Random Thoughts - "Little Darlings" movie edition

So I watched one of my favorite movies from childhood last night - Little Darlings, starring Kristy McNichol and Tatum O'Neal as teen girls at summer camp competing to see who can be the first to lose their virginity.

There's no way this movie could get made today. These girls aren't even old enough to drive and the whole premise is them casually trying to have sex first to win a bet. Sure, we've seen this type of plot in other teen comedies like American Pie etc., but usually involving older male teens, and never treated so flippantly.
The late 70s/early 80s were such different times; this movie is too innocent and yet too sophisticated at the same time to be something that could be viable these 30 some years later. Wow, acknowledging that this movie is over 30 years old is really hard for me to swallow. I AM SO OLD.

Other thoughts that struck me as I watched -
Evidently in 1979 it was perfectly okay for 15 yr olds to smoke cigarettes right out in the open, ALL THE TIME. Angel smokes on the school bus going to camp, in their cabin, during swimming lessons, while watching the camp talent show...none of the counselors, or the other kids, or her mom, ever seem to have a problem with her smoking butts every 10 minutes.

This movie, along with Meatballs from the same year, was the number one reason that I BEGGED my parents to let me go to camp in upstate New York. I wanted to experience everything that these girls were doing at Camp Hiawatha. And while my camp experience in 1981 and 1982 was pretty great, it never lived up to the expectations that I had set because of Ferris Whitney and Angel Bright.

Kristy McNichol was my idol! Sexiest tomboy alive.

I wanted to be Angel Bright, but I was totally Dana. You know, the brainy daughter of big-city progressive liberals, who quotes Shakespeare and listens to Rickie Lee Jones and Joni Mitchell while fantasizing about gettin' it on with her Philosophy professor in college.

I always forget that a pubescent Cynthia Nixon plays little hippie Sunshine in this film. She's awesome.

In one of my favorite scenes from the film, villainous Cinder has set up an elaborate seduction scene between the girl that she's backing in the bet Ferris (O'Neal), and counselor (and object of desire) Mr. Gary Callahan. Nixon's Sunshine is tasked to play background music near where Callahan is giving Ferris a swim lesson, and Cinder demands that Sunshine play something "sexy". On her recorder. Hee hee hee. Nixon promptly busts out a little Persian snake-charmer melody. Real sexy.
You know that this movie was made in 1979 because swarthy, short-shorts wearing Armand Assante is the hunk that all of the girls are lusting after. Mr. Callahan would not be considered hot these days.

The Angel Bright Guide to the Perfect Date -

 

• Feather your hair with a round brush
• Wear your prettiest purple tank top with your Levi's (cigarettes in the back pocket 'natch)
• Pick up date from neighboring summer camp by pulling up in a "borrowed" canoe that you rowed across the lake yourself.
• Row your date (because you are a badass that doesn't need the guy to row) down the lake to a secluded/abandoned boat shed.
• Pack a 6-pack of Bud, extra cigs, and condoms in your rucksack.
• Proceed to get your date so drunk that he passes out in his tighty-whities before you have a chance to make your move.

1980 Matt Dillon? So damn hot.

If actress Grace Kelly had lived she would've been 81 years old today. Reading the interwebs today about her is making me think of one of my favorite fictional characters in American cinema - Lisa Freemont. The privileged, gorgeous but savvy society girl who saves the day in the movie Rear Window.

When I was first exposed to Grace Kelly's Lisa Freemont as a young 8-year old girl, I thought she was the most beautiful, the smartest, and the most captivating woman I had ever encountered.
Lisa Freemont opened up whole new worlds for me with little profound bon mots like - "A woman going anywhere but the hospital would always take makeup, perfume and jewelry."     
Lisa was so glamorous! She was the fashion editor at Harper's Bazaar! And without her, her boyfriend wouldn't have solved the crime! Who else would've noticed a small detail like jewelry - 
"Women don't keep all their jewelry in a purse, all tangled, getting scratched and twisted up." - and run with that to expose the truth about the killer?!  

And on top of it all, Lisa Freemont taught me how to pack smart:

1. Take one beautiful, black leather Mark Cross attache bag.
2. Place inside said case a toothbrush and toothpaste, one ankle length pink satin nightgown with matching peignoir and a clean pair of underpants.
3. Don't forget your bedroom slippers.

"So, there you go."

Thoughts on this week's episode of The Challenge: Cut(My)throat -

• Awesome part 1: Batshit crazy Katie!!! Gawddam, I love this little psycho. And I felt so bad for her when her team sent her into the Gulag instead of useless, annoying Theresa. I'm glad Katie lived to fight (and beat/scream down bitches) another day.
• Awesome part 2: After Katie (rightfully) flipped the f*ck out on Ty for being a mysogonistic, hypocritical asshole, Derrick's response regarding Ty and Emily getting a taste of Katie's crazy - "So...there you go."
• Awesome part 3: The Red Team won this week so Brandon didn't have to go into the Gulag.

• My obsession with Johnny Bananas' hair week #3: I'm truly trying to rack my brain to remember if Bananas always had such whack, fake looking hair and I just ignored it. But I don't recall it ever being this bad - Hair Club For Men lookin', flat-ironed weirdness.

• Awesome part 4: Bananas got punched in the face by a Czech citizen. Thank you brave man whoever you are!
• Awesome part 5: "Medium" Easy whipped dumb Vinnie's ass in the Gulag! And then Vinnie was so mad about it that he acted like a little whiner afterwards. Now, I hope that the rest of the Blue team (minus loyal Derrick and Katie) step up and appreciate the good that Easy brings to their team. Send Bananas into the Gulag you dumbasses!

• Horrible Laurel and her hate-filled spew towards Erik was easily one of the grossest things I've ever seen on this show. Laurel is a digusting mess, who has some SERIOUS mental health issues.

Above: Laurel keepin' it classy in the hot tub.
Who needs mixed drinks when you can just mix your own directly in your mouth?!

TV Round Up - September season finale edition

Remember that True Blood season 3 finale I was so jazzed about? Well boy, was I disappointed. I've been complaining this whole season about the way the show's writers have chosen to interpret destroy change the character of Calvin Norris, one of the best people in the books, but last night's finale really took the cake. I won't spoil it for those who haven't watched yet, but Alan Ball and Co. really screwed the pooch with the whole "Hot Shot" storyline. Jason as inbred hillbilly messiah? PLEASE spare me.

Other parts of the third season ender that irked me?
The continuation of the destruction of Sam Merlotte. Would he really shoot his brother? C'mon now.
The lame way they've introduced the Faeries, and the cheeseball last scene with Sookie and Claudine (and where the hell is Claude?!).
The fact that Alcide didn't remove any clothing in the episode. Not even his shirt. The hell?
The True Blood finale wasn't a total wash; there were some intriguing parts to it. I was wondering how they were going to introduce the whole witch story arc, which is a major part of the books. And even though they've hinted about it for the past several episodes, the reveal of Jesus as a witch was a surprise to me, and kind of perfect. I'm looking forward to the adventures that he and Lafayette will have next season.
I liked the way they set up Sookie finally finding out about Bill and all of his big lame secrets. And I also liked that they didn't leave Eric in cement all hiatus - and Pam didn't get hurt (hooray!).
Finally I loved that they allowed Hoyt and Jessica to be happy for at least 5 minutes. That creepy old, gross baby doll foreshadows trouble ahead for these too I suspect. As does Mrs. Fortenberry buying that big ol' rifle.
So long True Blood, see you next Spring/Summer. Bring on Dexter!

The Closer -
A very well done season ender. Kyra Sedgwick is truly phenomenal as Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson. She deserves every Emmy and Golden Globes nomination she gets.
The TNT shows are strange because they have these summer and winter mini-seasons. Sometimes it's hard to build momentum up to a big cliffhanger in such a short time. This summer the main focus was on who would become Chief of Police. Would it be Pope, who wanted it so bad? Or would Brenda succumb to peer pressure and finally admit that she wanted the job? I wasn't sure that they would actually wrap this up in the finale, but they did, and in a great way by giving the job to Chief Delt, played by the awesome Courtney B. Vance. So now we're left wondering what's to become of the major crimes unit. Fans don't have to wait long - the new season starts in December.