Reality TV Round-up - July 2011 Edition

As usual my Tivo is clogged with hours upon hours of reality television. Good stuff (yes, there IS good stuff) and bad stuff. Competition stuff like Big Brother, SYTYCD, and The RW/RR Challenge; fun stuff like Ice Loves Coco, Million Dollar Decorators, Roseanne Barr's new show, and candid stuff like Celebrity Rehab, and my fave 1 Girl 5 Gays. I love it all!

Here's some of what I've been watching and dissecting this month -

Roseanne's Nuts: I've never been a big Roseanne fan. I didn't watch her sitcom when it was on, and I've always found the antics surrounding her to be a little exhausting. So why the hell did I decide to record and watch the premiere of her new reality show on Lifetime? I don't know. But I'm glad I did. I love everything about it. Roseanne is now living in Hawaii with her boyfriend John on a 50 acre macadamia nut farm. She has this weird (but hilarious) hippie dude named Greg that camps on her land and that she takes care of in exchange for his calm zen-ness. In the first couple of eps, Roseanne's eldest son comes to visit from L.A. She's constantly running around on her tractor and jeep, chasing pigs or trying to kill dangerous, invasive foliage on her land; all while spouting an endless stream of curse words. She's my new hero.

Big Brother 13: As much as I love Jeff & Jordan and am excited to have them on my screen again, this season of Big Brother is already SO ANNOYING. I may only watch the Thursday live shows and catch up by reading the live feed summaries.

Million Dollar Decorators: How can the season finale for this gem already be next week?! I've tweeted my love for this show for weeks but I can't reiterate enough how much I love Ross Cassidy, project manager and boyfriend of designer Jeffrey Allan Marks (who Ross adorably calls "JAM"!). He's South African and an ex-model, and he's a ruthless task master and he is indespencible. I love his hair and the way he's always putting it up in messy ponytails or flipping it over to the side; I love his clipped accent; I love his laugh. I want Ross to live with me and yell at me to "snap out of it and get things done!" I also love me some Jacqueline, designer and textile artist Kathryn Ireland's old French housekeeper. Forget what I said about Roseanne, JACQUELINE is my hero. I want to be her when I grow up - only wear crisp white shirts and black pants, tie my hair up in fabulous Hermes scarves, have a loose interpretation of "cleaning", only cook appetizers, and drink wine all damn day. Perf. All of the designers on the show are pretty interesting. I can't wait for season 2.

Ice Loves Coco: Who knew that Ice T and Coco (I still don't know if she uses a last name; surely she doesn't go by "Coco T") could be so charming? They're a great couple. And seriously? Ice T looks so much like my friend Jim, I can't stand it. Hilarious.

Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew: Oh lerwd, this show. Sean Young makes me sad y'all. I really feel for her. Bai Ling is CRAZY. Like chemically imbalanced. I think that she needs a higher level of care than Dr. Drew (who is slowly losing boyfriend status the more he's on my tv screen) and his stupid 21 day tv treatment show can provide. I'm surprisingly sympathetic to Michael Lohan, and it's been actually nice to see Steven Adler back in rehab. Oh, and Amy Fisher is a fucking bitch.

The Challenge - Rivals (RW/RR): Kenny! What is wrong with you baby? Where's my cocky, joking, handsome, smart-ass who's quick with the quips and a challenge beast? Did that pasty, UGLY, red-headed freak Wes kill your spirit once he partnered with you? I want the goofy, hot, clever Kenny pictured below to come back onto my tv screen! In other news, shut up Johnny Bananas.

TV Round Up - last week of August/early September

I've been embroiled in a bunch of family drama these past several weeks (don't you just love family sometimes?); so I haven't had any time to watch television. My poor Tivo and Tifaux have been working overtime and their little memories are filled to capacity.
But let's talk about some of the things I managed to watch this week. Keep in mind, most of this stuff aired days ago and in this day and age of Twitter and live blogging, none of my comments are really that fascinating. That's not stopping me from sharing them though.

Project Runway from 8/26

The team challenge episode for this season was superb television. Gretchen's spectacularly crazy spiral on the runway, the appalling treatment of Michael C. by the rest of his team, and best of all the AMAZING smackdown of Gretchen from one Tim Gunn were some of the best moments this show has had in some time.

Huge - 1st (and hopefully not last) season finale

You guys? I loved this quirky gem of a show so much. Yes it's a teen drama on the ABC Family channel. And yes, it was about teens at a fat camp for the summer. But boy oh boy it was so much more than that. The stories, dialog, and the characters that were created for this show was some of the best written stuff for tv that I've seen in some time. The tv show is better than the book. And the book is great! Teens talked and acted like real teens. The actors playing the kids at the camp were, guess what Hollywood?, actually overweight, and not some weird slightly bloated thin person or someone thin in make-up and prosthetics. No fat suits! Nikki Blonsky who was in the film version of the musical Hairspray was one of the leads, and she was so great; she has real dramatic talent. And I loved that they didn't really showcase her singing talent in a forced way (like some shows could've/would've done).Sure, her character and another one end up writing some songs together, but it was done in a very organic way, that made sense with the character development. And the singing was not at all canned, produced, or auto-tuned. 

You really cared about every single person and I really can't tell you the last time I experienced television characters, especially teen television characters that were so, well, deep.

The finale was just as superb as the whole season has been. My only complaint is that it really left me hanging. I'm dying to know how everyone fairs by the end of summer camp. Will I have to wait until next year?! I don't know how ABC Family does their seasons. Or if the show was even picked up for a second season; but if that dumb show they have about gymnasts can get a 2nd season, certainly Huge can right? They totally deserve it!

Memphis Beat season finale

Another quirky freshman drama; another cop drama on TNT, but hey if it's working for the network why mess with the formula? This one starred Jason Lee as MPD detective Dwight Hendricks who moonlights as a blues singer who has an affinity for Elvis songs. It also starred the always good Alfre Woodard, Celia Weston, and a surprisingly good DJ Qualls who finally found the right character and balance for his inherent weirdness. Jason Lee sure does have a beautiful singing voice. Who knew? No seriously, did people know this? I know about Lee being a former pro skateboarder, and a Scientologist etc. But I did not know that he could sing; and play guitar and bass. He should consider putting an album out. Maybe he already has and I'm just out of the loop; that would mean I'd have to give up my Jason Lee fan club membership card I guess. The show's writing was a little inconsistent throughout the season, but I can't say that there was any episode that I hated.

Which can't be said about another TNT drama HawthoRNe. This show and I had a very dramatic dvr-breakup last month because I hated Jada Pinkett-Smith's character so much. You know when the power of shirtless Michael Vartan can't save a show for me, there's something wrong.

Big Brother -

Sigh...the people I had picked to win in my office pool all got eliminated, the last being Brendon who really played an excellent game and just barely missed staying in the house (as HOH no less) for another week. Oh well, I really don't want anyone left in the house to win but if I had to choose I guess I'd go with Britney.

2010 Emmys -

I'll quickly just say that I was over the moon about Eric Stonestreet and the Modern Family wins. Can't wait for that show to come back into my life.

And that opening number from Jimmy Fallon et al was effin' brilliant.

True Blood

Season 3 has been better than I could've hoped for. I've said it before, Alan Ball and the rest of the writers are doing an excellent job of incorporating various plots and characters from the books into the television show, while creating totally new and interesting characters. Case in point the two men pictured above, Kevin Alejandro and Joe Manganiello. They play Jesus and Alcide respectively; Alcide is a beloved character from the book and Joe was the top choice from fans of the book who emailed and tweeted Alan Ball with suggestions to have him play Alcide. He's perfect in the role and I can't wait to see what next season brings. Jesus on the other hand is a brand new character created for the show and such a welcome addition. I love Alejandro's chemistry with Nelsan Ellis who plays Jesus's love interest Lafayette.

Speaking of my beloved Lafayette and Nelsan Ellis, how cute is he in this picture from a cast Emmy party with actor Marshall Allman who plays newcomer Tommy Mickens/Merlotte.

Needless to say, I'm super psyched for the True Blood season finale happening in a couple of weeks. And then it's time for all of the new and returning Fall tv shows. It's my favorite time of the year!

Reality TV Round-Up - Early August 2010 edition

Things that pissed me off this week:

1. Kenny packing his knives and leaving Top Chef DC. There is NO GAWDDAM way that Kenny deserved to leave this competition before Amanda, or f*cking Alex. The judges should be ashamed of themselves.
2. Gretchen winning (AGAIN) in the Project Runway challenge. Yes, her weird jumpsuit definitely deserved top 3, but I seriously need Nina Garcia, Michael Kors, and Heidi Klum to explain to me exactly why Valerie didn't win this challenge with her amazing red dress. It was the biggest WTF? moment in some time for this show.

Things that made me smile this week:

I mean c'mon, how cute are they?!

As of this writing/posting the winner hasn't been determined, but Robert, Lauren, and Kent each did a splendid job in the finale performances and I'll be happy for any of them to win. (but I really want Lauren)

Kent seems like a foregone conclusion, but if we're to believe Nigel, the votes each week have been very close and have switched often. So maybe it is anyone's game.

Things that made me ambivalent this week:

1. After a spectacularly bad showing in the veto competition this past weekend, it's a fact that one of my Big Brother office pool picks will be going home tonight.  And most likely it will be Rachel. Sigh... I really can't stand either her or Brendon, but I did want them to stick around in the house awhile longer (beyond the fact that I win money if they stay), because I hate Matt and the STUPID Brigade. Seriously. Vomit. And I also hate that all of the women are being systematically picked off this season. It's depressing. Here's hoping that Ragan can stir some stuff up as the new saboteur.
2. Real Housewives of D.C. premiered last week and it was both better and worse than I thought it would be. I'm surprised that there's only one black D.C. housewife, but I'm not offended, if that makes sense. I also liked that it was acknowledged that very few of the movers and shakers in the area who claim to be from D.C. actually live in northern VA or in the Maryland suburbs. I'm looking forward to the next couple of episodes at least, although I don't know if I'm it for the long haul.

TV Round Up - mid July edition

Wow, this summer is zooming by, and I've surprisingly been out enjoying the gorgeous weather Seattle's been having, and NOT watching television. So my darling Tivo and Tifaux have been backed up waiting patiently for me to catch up on all the trashy and excellent goodness. And this past weekend I was able to get through an amazing amount of tv, thanks to the fact that I had two big home improvement projects that forced me to sit on the floor and put equipment together  - perfect for boob tube watching!
Some random thoughts about what I've seen this week -

• This season of So You Think You Can Dance has got to be the strangest on record. Not only because of the new "All Star" format, but because the eliminations have been so wacky. First we had the imbalance of more guy than girl contestants. Then America and Nigel & Co. decided to systematically eliminate 3 girls in a row. Then we had the HORRIBLE injuries for Alex Wong and Ashley Galvan. So now we're left with only ONE GIRL (the amazing Lauren), and 5 guys. The season is kind of turning into a disaster. The only thing saving it is Cat Deely and the chance to see some of my favorite All Stars dance again. I swear to God if Jose or Adechike don't go home this week I'll be super pissed off.
• You know what SYTYCD thing I am excited about? The upcoming tour that will feature Season 6 (hell yeah!) Season 7 and All Star dancers. Yippeee! Tix go sale at the end of July.
• True Blood is AWESOME this season. And getting "awesomer" with every episode. There are so many good things that I don't even know where to start to list them. This past Sunday's episode was one of the high points of the season; and seriously, if you haven't seen Mr. Fabulous himself, Lafayette Reynolds, blushing and flirting shyly with hot nurse Jesus, then you haven't seen the definition of awesome. I say this all the time but I really love the way the writers have taken the stories and characters from the Charlaine Harris books and morphed them for the small screen. They stay true to the essence of the book and stories, but expand, switch, cut, and add wonderful things. And the actors this season are really stepping up - and thank you Alan Ball and the HBO wardrobe dept for not spending much in the shirt budget. Keep that part up.
• I'm still a fan of Bravo's Work of Art, but if that faker Miles wins the whole thing I will be peeved.
• Dear Allison Grodner and the rest of the Big Brother producers - ha ha ha hee ah ha Your big twist this season got busted with the very first elimination! Nice. And while I'm actually thankful that you chose houseguests that are relatively sane this season, they're also kind of boring. So now I'm worried that this will cause you to go back to your crazy stunt casting and fill season 13 with a bunch of Evel Dicks, Chimas, Jesses and Boogies. Don't do that  please.
• Thank god odious Vern Yip, cool Genevieve Groder, and the queen Candice Olsen finally got rid of that hag Nina this week on HGTV's Design Star. I was starting to worry that they were forgetting that the winner of this show is supposed to be someone that we want to watch on television. Nina is NEVER going to be the answer to that question.
• I am living for the return of David Suchet as Hercule Poirot in the latest Masterpiece Mystery series. In fact this season of Mystery has been excellent all around and only promises to get better with Inspector Lewis coming back in a couple of months.
• I've already gushed about The Choir, but seriously why aren't you watching this gem yet?!
• I thoroughly enjoyed the debut of TNT's Rizzoli & Isles a new cop drama starring my #1 girl crush Angie Harmon. And evidently its premier did gangbusters in the ratings, so yay!

And with the upcoming Season 8 of Project Runway starting up next week, this summer's line up is really heating up.

Big Brother Season 12 - Get to know the House Guests

Whoa. How can it already be time for another season of Big Brother to start up again? 2010 is moving fast. But here we are in July, with another dose of my favorite TV crack waiting to be administered on July 8.
For the past 9 seasons Allison Groder and the other producers have tried to cram "twists" down our throats to keep things "unexpected" in the game. Some of these antics have worked better than others, but this season they're going with having a mole, sorry, a "saboteur" in the house that will be tasked with messing things up for their fellow houseguests. Now, I'm really hoping that unlike Season 8 with Eric being "America's Player", that this saboteur isn't affected by the votes of the other HGs so that they're not voted off too soon. Will it be like The Mole where the all of the HGs know that one among them is this traitor, so that everyone's off guard right from the beginning? If in fact the mole is voted off early on, will BB choose another HG to take over? Inquiring minds!

I finally took some time to review Season 12's cast. And of course I have opinions.
First impressions:
SO MUCH pre-hate for Annie. Her favorite BB contestant is Evel Dick? Uh, no. We’re done here.

Andrew, on paper seems like the kind of guy that I usually fawking hate. But I said the same thing about Jeff last season and I ended up loving him.

They cast Enzo strictly because he fits the Bayonne, NJ Guido “Jersey Shore” stereotype. *eyeroll* Although it amused me to no end that his favorite all-time BB player is Season 1 Justin. WTF?!

Brendon. Hmm. Cute and doesn’t seem too douchey, and has a Ph.D. in biometric physics. But when asked to use 3 adjectives to describe himself, one of the ones he used was “intelligible” which gave me pause. Did he really mean to describe himself as someone who is easily understood, or is he one of those assholes who just throws words out in conversation trying to sound smarter than he is? If it’s the former than I might end up loving this guy.

I want to like Kathy. She’s my age, seems sort of kick-ass (she’s a sheriff deputy), seems to love BB and know its history, and has survived cancer (which I hope is the excuse for her fugly hair) so seems to be ready for anything. I hope to hell she doesn’t end up being a shrill harpy.

Kristen. I am wary of anyone who claims to be “misunderstood by strangers”. This almost always means – PSYCHO BITCH

Matt seems like guys that I’m friends with, and is one of my top picks for being this season’s “Mole”. I also thought what he said about Dr. Will and his favorite BB player was very astute: "Since the beginning I've liked Will, but his strategy would never work anymore. People play the game too much now. So, I'd have to go with Dan as my favorite."

I hope to hell that Monet ends up being as cool as she seems from her profile. But I’ve been burned before.

Lane is your typical BB cast big dumb jock. He seems nice though. But that’s what I thought about Jesse when I read his bio and we all know how that turned out.

Hayden is another stereotypical BB houseguest. I hope he’s cuter in real life than in his photo. His hair could bug.

Britney Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Rachel has VERY UNFORTUNATE hair and seems like a Vegas whore. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

And finally we have Ragan who methinks is the token “gay” of this season (West Hollywood represent!). He’s also AWESOME. (at least from his profile) So this means that he’ll probably lose because the people I like never win (Will and Jordan are exceptions). He's another candidate for the mole but he almost seems too obvious a choice.

Here we go folks.

Linky link - Early summer 2010 edition

• One of my biggest pet peeves is denim shorts on anyone above the age of 12. I HATE jean shorts, be they cut-off or hemmed, long or short, fitted or loose. "The Sassy Curmudgeon", Una LaMarche, has a great story about jean shorts on the Huffington Post this week.

• I'm so secretly excited about this upcoming premier season of The Real Housewives of D.C. And not only because it's my home town.

• All of this Jake and Vienna break-up nonsense has been so amusing, but none of it more awesome than all of the "Jake is gay" rumors that have resurfaced. And all of the interviews where Jake keeps swearing he's not gay! I personally don't think he is; I wouldn't want to have sex with Vienna either...

• Okay, I loved The Mole when it was on ABC, so I'm cautiously optimistic about this latest Big Brother season twist.

• Why can't it just be September already!!! I love Jonny Lee Miller so much.

TV Round-up for the week

Best thing I saw all week - What Would Brian Boitano Make?

"what would Brian Boitano do if he were here right now? He'd make a plan and follow through, that's what Brian Boitano'd do!" (I wonder if you have to pay royalties to use a song as your show's theme, if said song was actually written about you?)

Who knew Brian Boitano could cook, and was so funny with such a self-depricating sense of humor, and liked "riding his bike on rainbows". His new little cooking show is a great way to spend 30 minutes. It's a little bit "Good Eats", a little "Barefoot Contessa" with a little Rachel Ray thrown into the mix. Filmed out of his gorgeous house in San Francisco it looks like the show will focus on food to prepare for entertaining. The first episode dealt with Brian trying to find a date for his straight bachelor friend Tony. This show is fun!

Show that hasn't made a wrong move yet this season? True Blood

While a lot of this season's plots have come from several of the Charlaine Harris books that the show is based on, the writers/producers have embellished and changed things around enough that I truly don't know how this season is going to end. No clue. At all. Only 2 more episodes to go!

Show that ended with a mind f*ck - Nurse Jackie

This week's first season finale was a doozy. Did Jackie try to kill herself at the end? Did she OD? What will happen to her adorable family? Or Coop? Or Zoe? Don't tell me I have to wait 8 months to find out!!

Worse thing my wallet saw this week - Big Brother 11's Thursday show

Russell was stupidly kicked off thus ending my chance at winning $150 in my office pool. Damn Jeff! I now want Kevin or Michele to win.

Obsession renewed this week - Project Runway

So far the move to Lifetime and LA hasn't seemed to hurt the show one bit. Add the new Models of the Runway, the entertaining behind-the-scenes look at the PR clothes hanger girls and Thursday nights are becoming my new favorite thing.

Big Brother 11 DRAMA

I won't get too spoilery for those of you who don't keep up with the live feeds, but this, up until now boring and tedious, season of Big Brother just got CRAZY.

First, CBS decided to run a taped show instead of a live one on Thursday because outgoing HOH Chima had threatened the producers all week that she was going to go bat-shit crazy on everyone during the live show in front of millions because she suspected that one of the houseguests would use the special "Coup d'etat" power allowing them to overturn her HOH. So they moved to a taped show so that they control anything that might happen before broadcasting. Production has been conceding to Chima's threats all season; ever since she went "off script" during the first eviction and railed against Braden for being a rascist, BB has been a little scared of Chima.
Next, after Michele won HOH on Thursday a whole ton of crap went down with Chima, Natalie, and Lydia banding together moaning and literally crying over Jessie's ouster; going over the BB rule book with a fine-tooth comb to make sure they couldn't catch any mess up that Jeff, Michele, or Russ might've done; taking and hiding Jeff's clothes and his rosary beads; hogging the washer/dryer by doing endless cycles of wash and sitting on top of the machines so nobody else could use them; flipping off and screaming at production whenever asked to put on their mics, or go to the diary room - and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Just when I was about to write this season off, it goes and gets ridiculously dramatic and wonderful. I won't say more, but just you wait until Tuesday's (Aug. 18) show. Way to go Grodner; damn you and your CBS monkeys for pulling me in again.