Best Thing I've Read/Watched All Week...

God bless you, Rich Juzwiak.

One of the best "year end" compilations ever!

Presented without comment...

Okay, I lied. ONE comment -

Why the fuck does Phil Collins have a tambourine shoved into his sweatpants in this photo?!

2014 Lenten Discipline - Kat tries to live/enjoy her busy social life on $60 a week - aka "She CRAZY"

Every year, even though I long ago abandoned my Catholic upbringing and although I currently regularly attend Methodist services I wouldn't call myself very religious, I commit to and benefit from observing Lent.
Lent is a Christian religious observance that in the liturgical calendar begins on Ash Wednesday and covers a period of approximately six weeks ending on Easter Day. The traditional purpose of Lent is for “believers” to show their faith through prayer, penance, repentance, atonement, and denial. Its institutional purpose is heightened in the annual commemoration of Holy Week, marking the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus.
But what I've always used the Lenten season for is as a forced time to discipline myself and give up something that I rely on too much; an annual 6-week break from a vice. Over the past decade or so this practice has devolved into a rather stale and predictable pattern. Each year I'd give up either alcohol or sugar, sometimes caffeine, and I'd patiently (sometimes not so patiently) bide my time until Easter Day where I'd binge on whatever thing I'd denied myself for the previous 6 weeks.

But at the beginning of this year I was hit by a car as I crossed the street, and although I escaped with only minor injuries, those injuries have been slow to heal. I've also had to deal with an already ill father getting sicker and more dependent, and family members being either unreasonable or unavailable to help.
I bring these events up to say that I've been in a very stress-filled yet contemplative head-space. I've been forced to make some changes in my life that I have been resistant to, and it's thrown some things into perspective for me.
One realization has become clear - I SPEND TOO MUCH MONEY

Listen, I know I'm a pretty lucky person. I have a fairly stable career that pays me well, and I have a nice looking balance in my bank accounts and retirement money markets and stock portfolios. I don't have any kids that I have to pay for, and just a 20+ lb cat that I treat to fancy food and filtered water.
I have a nice house, but also a nice fat mortgage. I have a fairly decent well-running car but it's also almost a decade old and I could use an upgrade, which would mean a car payment. And that no kid thing? Try having an elderly, sick parent whose meager pension and SSA benefits only cover a quarter of his expenses, so guess who gets to cover the rest?

I in no way want or need your pity - I am well aware that I travel regularly to nice locales, fly first-class, and generally get to do things that many of my friends and family only dream about. I have nice clothes and accessories, a collection of fancy handbags, I like fine wines and top-shelf liquors and I treat myself to them liberally, I'm a "foodie" who never hesitates to go out to fancy dinners and never balks at laying down $100 for a good meal.
All of this is to illustrate that while I have the means and wherewithal to afford to comfortably indulge myself and do what I want, - I SPEND TOO MUCH MONEY.

So I decided last week that this year for Lent I wouldn't do the safe, predictable thing; where each year the biggest inconvenience has been that my birthday inevitably falls smack in the middle of the Lenten season and boy isn't it a drag that I can't have a birthday cocktail or a piece of cake. This year I would really challenge myself; I would use Lent as a true time of reflection and atonement. I would put myself on a very strict budget.
I'm not counting my bills, my medical expenses, or things like gas for my car. This is strictly a budget for my personal spending; the money I use for groceries, clothes shopping, eyebrow waxing, pedicures, movies, going out to dinner, or drinks with my friends.
My goal is to spend no more than $60 a week between March 5 and April 20.

YIKES! Am I right?
So far it's gone fairly well; but it's only been three days. I'm keeping a spending journal, and seriously, I've already had several eye-opening moments. In just the past three days I've been way more conscious of what I do with my money. And that's really the whole point of this Lenten practice - to be more aware and conscious.
I don't know if I'll be successful every week, in fact I probably won't, but I will be more mindful. I will be cognizant as I choose that $15 glass of Pinot Noir; I will be attentive. And that's all I'm really asking of myself. I may post some of my progress over the next 6 weeks. Feel free to mock, criticize, or pity me. I probably deserve it.

Pop Culture Bits and Pieces

A round-up of different blogs and online essays regarding "entertainment" that I've read over the past week.

A discussion on the sexiness of the latest Superman’s chest hair:

Favorite part? From writer Kyle Buchanan – “With that beard and that flannel and that Crossfit-jacked hairy chest, I expected Superman to eschew his usual secret identity at the Daily Planet and start a new life as Portland’s hottest artisanal-beer brewer.”  Hee hee hee

Oh, and BTdubs – don’t believe any negative reviews you read about Man of Steel. It was great! Very serious sure, but so well done. And it goes without saying – Henry Cavill is F*CKING HOT. Holy crap is he good looking in this movie!

Essay by NPR’s awesome Linda Holmes on the absence of women in films
I feel lucky to be rounding out my week by balancing the testosterone of "Man of Steel" with some estrogen from Frances, Ha.

And finally, a whole crapload of News about Musical Theater! -

NPH is bringing “Hedwig” to Broadway:
Everyone, including most importantly, creators John Cameron Mitchell and Stephen Trask, seems to be ecstatic about Neil Patrick Harris bringing the iconic role of Hedwig to Broadway finally in 2014.

I…I just…um…FOLKS, I don’t get it. I LOVE NPH! He’s basically perfect at everything but…HEDWIG? No. Obviously I’m keeping an open mind and I wish him and the rest of the cast all the best, but I just cannot see Harris doing Hedwig justice. No offense. Again, I flove him! Don’t tell NPH I said anything mean about him!

Soul Doctor continues its course for a summer Broadway opening:

Along with “Matilda”, “Soul Doctor” is something that intrigues me enough to want to buy a plane ticket to NYC in August. August! I must be crazy.

Frozen cast keeps getting better:

You guys? I haven’t been THIS excited about an animated movie in years. Why can’t this be a live action show on Broadway?

Holy crap! They’re actually trying to do an “Air Supply” musical you guys. Ugh, with Constantine.

Nashville - Season 1 finale

Just got around to watching the first season finale of Nashville, and all I can say is - HOLY. FUCK. I'm so glad ABC had the smarts to bring this show (and Connie Britton's glorious hair) back for another season.
Also, the addition of Chris Carmack as Will was a brilliant move on the part of the writers/producers etc. Please make him a major character next season.
Also also, I know I'm the only person besides Jonathan Jackson's parents that love the character of Avery, but seriously, I really like how they've handled the season story arc of his character. Keep on keepin' on son!

A few things that I'm obessed with this week...

Police have reopened the investigation of the mysterious death of actress Natalie Wood. I was OBSESSED with this case as a pre-teen kid. First of all, I thought that Natalie Wood was so beautiful. She was my first girl-crush. I was into a lot of true crime stuff at the time, and this also had the added attraction of involving 3 actors that I knew and liked. And I don't know, somehow it was oddly romantic?
Natalie Wood's body was found floating in a cove off the coast of Catalina Island, Thanksgiving weekend 1981. Her death was ruled as an accidental drowning but suspicion has always been thrown on her husband Robert Wagner, who along with actor Christopher Walken were with Wood on her and Wagner's yacht in Catalina.
The three had been drinking when an argument erupted; supposedly over the reveal that Wood and Walken had been carrying on a secret affair. According to both Wagner and Walken, Natalie had stomped away angrily and that was last they saw of her until her body was recovered. They did find that one of their small inflatable boats was missing and it was assumed that Wood took this and subsequently drowned.
However, suspicion was thrown on Wagner when the captain of the boat said that he'd seen Wagner and Wood arguing shortly after she had stormed off the top deck where the initial argument had occurred. But police had never been able to prove anything against Wagner, and generally it has always been believed that he had nothing to do with her death; beyond being involved in the verbal fight that was the catalyst for her to leave the boat.

So why have the police decided to reopen this case after 30 years? Well, that old captain has come forward this week and said that he lied to police about seeing Wagner and Wood argue on the lower deck. Why did he do it? Who knows, but since that couldn't possibly be enough to reopen a cold case like this, I have to wonder what other new evidence the police have that they can't reveal yet.

But I sure am waiting with baited breath to see what happens next.

Wasn't Natalie Wood just gorgeous?




Another thing that I've been bummed about is the split between Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. I've had a weird love of this couple ever since they got together in 2005. I found their relationship to be charming. I genuinely like Ashton Kutcher as an actor and a person, and it's annoying to think that all of those rumors about him fooling around are actually true. Especially with the women that he supposedly had the affairs with - those 2 ladies are fugly and stupid looking! So disappointed.

Finally, it was Regis' last day today on Live! with Regis and Kelly. I actually kind of hate Regis Philbin, but I loved his dynamic with Kelly Ripa (who can do no wrong in my book) and have always enjoyed Live!, even in the Kathie Lee Gifford days.
I'll definitely be recording the shows all next week as they start their official process for selecting his replacement. My #1 vote? Mark Consuelos!!! Kelly Ripa's hubby is awesome and has done a great job filling in for Regis over the past decade. He and Kelly are the greatest. But maybe their marriage would suffer working together every day? If that's the case, then don't do it Mark! I can't deal with another beloved celebrity couple splitting up.

New Fall TV report card..."Sorry Charlie"

It's time to check in on how the new Fall 2011 television shows have fared in my opinion since their premieres these past several weeks. I was initially excited about quite a few new prospects, some of which have turned out to be huge disappointments.

The Good:
Up All Night - I love this show so much more than I expected I would. All of my fears about the retooling/reshooting they did were for naught. Will Arnett and Christina Applegate are amazing. Maya Rudolph is a national treasure, and this show has even made me see Nick Cannon's appeal. He's hilarious!

Revenge - Omigod, omigod, OMIGOD, I LOVE this crazy Dynasty-style drama. Since having a dvr I rarely watch TV shows on their actual aired nights. This is the one show that I make an exception for. I can't wait to watch this piece of brilliance every Wednesday. And then when it's done I feel bereft at having to wait another week before I get more. Madeleine Stowe for President y'all! And I forgot how hunky I've always thought Gabriel Mann to be. I want a Nolan of my very own!

Suburgatory - This sitcom is so charming. Who knew Jeremy Sisto could handle comedy with such a deft hand? I love the relationship between his character and his daughter. Gilmore-girlsy but better. Ana Gasteyer and Cheryl Hines are also both hilarious.

Homeland - I've never liked Claire Danes. Never. Either personally or for her acting "ability". I've never understood her appeal. Until now? She's kind of great in this thrilling new drama on Showtime.

The (Oh SO) Bad:
The Playboy Club - I've already talked about this show's cancellation. And while I didn't hate it as much as most people, it did have a lot of things that were wrong with it.

Charlie's Angels - Oh gawd. Why was this show so bad?! I love the original Charlie's Angels so much. I can even appreciate the awful and cheesy season 5. But this remake has truly been awful. Even the beautiful and talented Minka Kelly couldn't save this stinker for me. ABC just announced its blessed cancellation. Season Pass DELETED.

Terra Nova - ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzz So awful. Nothing more to say.

The Meh **shrug***:

There are some shows that fall into this category like Ringer, Mad Fashion, and Hart of Dixie that I'm still actively watching on a weekly basis and will continue to do so, but I'm just not jazzed about them. If I miss one or two I'm not going to cry about it.

But most of the shows that I'm lumping in here (Secret Circle, 2 Broke Girls, Prime Suspect, Pan Am, New Girl) are ones that, even though they may be getting good reviews and/or ratings, I'm just not invested in them at all. I've given up. I'm most regretting my ambivalence about New Girl. The 2 episodes I've seen I found really funny, but I just can't be bothered to remember to record it or set up a season pass for it. I watch SO much television already and only have so much dvr space and hours in the day to dedicate to something that isn't grabbing me.

And then there's American Horror Story. WTF is up with this show?! It is so damn wacky and disturbing. And confusing. And weird; but not in a good way. I so wanted to like it (I love most of the cast), and I still like the idea of the show, but its execution has been a failure for me. I'm going to watch the 4th episode this week but I don't know if I can stomach it much longer after that.


On a side note - NBC's Grimm is the only remaining new Fall show that I was interested in that hasn't premiered as of this writing so I can't comment. But it's a good sign that the ads for it still intrigue me. I am a little worried and annoyed that folks are going to confuse it for the OTHER fairytale character drama that premiered this week on ABC called Once Upon A Time. I don't understand the Hollywood phenomenon where similar themed projects are always popping up at the same time and competing against each other. It's really annoying.

I wasn't a fan of the new comedy Free Agents. But I'm still annoyed that NBC chose to cancel it after only 3 episodes.I think I'm mostly annoyed because they greenlighted Whitney and ordered a second full season of that fucking lame show. Ugh.

Anatomy of a music video - Bee Gees Edition Volumes 1 and 2

The music videos made in the late 1970s for two of the hits by the Bee Gees off of the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack are a study in contrasts.
Let's examine the contrasts between the videos for "How Deep Is Your Love" and "Staying Alive".

We'll start with "Staying Alive" -

• I dare you to pull your eyes away from the moose knuckle that Barry Gibb is sporting in those TIGHT white pants of his. You can't do it can you? His junk is mesmerizing.
• Umm, where was this filmed? The words on the old train car looks like it says Cork? But would there really have been an area in that part of England that was that run-down and abandoned looking?
• Can we just all agree that Barry Gibb had fucking fabulous hair? Feathered, bouncin' and behavin' perfection.
• Maurice and Robin on the other hand...no. Those twins definitely got the raw end of that deal.
• Actually Maurice had a nice face, and his beard is neat and trimmed here, unlike some people, Barry.
• When I was 11 my two friends and I would imitate the moves the Gibbs make when they pop into the open window and door frames during the "ah ha ah ha stayling alive" part.
• What is with Barry's silver jacket? And does he really need a gold necklace and a larger chain with a medalion? Or his cuban-heeled ankle boots? He's a tall dude. All this is still not enough to distract me from looking at his crotch.
• I think my dad had the same shirt as the one Maurice is wearing.
• Seriously, where was this filmed? Were there still war-torn parts of Eastern Europe in the 70s? What is with all of the empty and destroyed houses?

Now comparatively the video for "How Deep Is Your Love" is on a whole other level. And it's not necessarily a better one.

• The budget was considerably lower for this one obviously. They're on some studio soundstage with random lights set up and the camera is following the Gibb brothers as they alternately walk around in a circle, or stand in a circle as the camera pans around them.
• Seriously, more than half of the video is them WALKING AROUND IN A CIRCLE. They could've filmed this in my garage.
• And who are those random handful of faceless people standing around in the center of the circle? Party guests? Electricians and best boys that work at the studio who didn't realize they were in the shot?
• Robin Gibb really is unfortunate looking, isn't he.
• Barry on the other hand is looking his most fantastic. His hair was never more lustrous and his beard is neat this time around. Also, while I'm sure he's wearing the tightest possible trousers, the camera never pans down past his mid chest until the end of the video, and then it's only his butt that we see  so we're not nearly as distracted.
• BTdubs, check out the top of the comment thread from the link above for a gem from some dude named serq199113. I admire his sentiment.

TV Musings - Last week of March 2011

This week for Lent I've given up Tivo. Well, I've really been forced to give it up because my beloved Reuben (that's my Tivo's name) died on Sunday; total hard drive failure. EEEK! And while I do have another dvr, its hard drive space is very limited because I have a bunch of HD programs taking up a ton of space, which essentially has left me with having two televisions that I have been forced to watch LIVE, in real time, without the ability to rewind or pause. **gasp**

But while I'm on this dvr-hiatus, I haven't totally been forgoing television altogether. Here are some things keeping me interested this week:

• It looks like the fan and critic outrage over the new Wonder Woman suit/costume forced some changes. Gone is the ultra shiny vinyl cheap looking "pants" and slutty high heels. I like it much better, but I'm still skeptical about this revamp of the classic series from the 1970s.

• I'm okay with Richard Blais winning the Top Chef All-Stars finale but boy, I really wish he had competed against Antonia instead of gross Mike Isabella. Anyway, I'm super excited to see the All Star reunion next week when Elia gets ripped a new one for being such a bitch. And the new Top Chef Masters season starts next week too, hosted by my boyfriend Curtis Stone who must have some naughty pictures of Jeff Zucker in his possession. How else to explain Stone's dominance on anything and everything NBC Universal has on television? I can think of 5 shows off the top of my head that he's been involved with, and that's just in the past 6 months.

• The Beverly Hills housewives are back for Season 2! As much as I generally dislike Bravo's Real Housewives franchise(s), I did thoroughly enjoy the Beverly Hills edition, especially Lisa Vanderpump. But seriously Bravo, what happened to all of my awesome "gay" shows like Make Me a Super Model, Shear Genius, and Top Design? Sigh...at least I'll soon be getting new reality shows for Brad Goreski and Chris March.
• Perfect Couples is getting the ax (at least temporarily) and being replaced by a new show from Paul Reiser. Man, I really wanted to like Perfect Couples. I like most of the cast, and I LOVE a lot of the writers, especially Jen Kirkman and Nick Adams, so it was really weird how bad it was. It had its moments, but for the most part it sucked.

American Idol - Top 13 Performances

I mentioned already last week that I only care about two of this season's American Idol finalists right?

Make that one.

Photo credit: Ray Mickshaw/FOX

Seriously y'all, I kind of am in love with Casey Abrams. I can't explain it.

Hey Oprah, stop trying to kill my boyfriend!

(At least my baby got to enjoy a nice glass of wine afterwards)

Today, while making what turned out to be a VERY dramatic entrance on to the stage of the Oprah Winfrey Show, Hugh Jackman injured one of his beautiful eyes attached to his beautiful face.
This episode of Oprah was being filmed in Australia, where Hugh came on to the set down a zip-line that was attached to the nearby Sydney Opera House. Except he kind of pulled the brake too late on the line and knocked into one of the lighting rigs. I blame Oprah. I don't care if the stunt was Hugh's idea, I know in my heart that she encouraged him to do something stupid so that she can have every episode of her final season be as memorable as possible. Well mission accomplished lady!

REALLY?!!!

What the hell?! Is this what we've come to Washington state leaders? "WashYourHandsIngTon"?!!!!!? I'm embarrassed for us all.

Writing a novel in 1 month = FAIL

So here it is, the last day of November 2010 and I did NOT finish writing a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. Yes, yes I know that the month isn't technically over; I still have over 12 hours to churn out prose. But I have to start being realistic with myself; I only have just over 35, 000 words written - and they're not very good words at that.
No, I take that back, they're good words. It's my story that's shit. But it has potential. And for the first time in a long time I'm actually excited about seeing where the story goes. I just wish that I hadn't futzed around the first couple of weeks of November trying to figure it out, and then I wish I hadn't procrastinated as much as I did once I did figure the story structure out, blaming my lethargy on being sick etc.

So here I am a NaNoWriMo failure; but considering it was my first attempt, I'm pretty proud of myself nonetheless. I'd like to think that I will take some time in the coming weeks/months to finish and fine tune the novel that I started this month; but realistically I know that I probably won't. Instead I'm going to file it away, and maybe use it as an inspiration for next year's contest.

Speaking of procrastination and pep talks - the great Dave Eggers was asked by the NaNoWriMo coordinators to give us advice and these were his sage words:

Is procrastination a problem for you? Really? You think you have a problem?

Here's procrastination: The organizers of NaNoWriMo asked me three months ago to write this pep talk, and I'm only writing it now, after blowing three deadlines, after avoiding ten reminders. I was asked to write a pep talk for NaNoWriMo, and I'm actually writing it after the month started. So whatever procrastination problems you have, I probably have you beat. I'm the worst, and I'm getting worse every day.
It's a very strange thing, because we all think writing should be fun. That is, when I was temping through most of my twenties, wondering what it would be like to write for a living, hoping for such a life, I thought it might be pretty sweet. I thought if I ever got to write for a living, I would feel pretty lucky, and that I would be so appreciative that I would bound out of bed every day and, like a goddamned adult, I would write as much as I could every day, and get work done in a reasonable amount of time. Again, like an adult.
Instead, I need, on average, 8 hours sitting on my writing couch to get one hour of work done. It's a pathetic ratio. I stall, avoid, put off and generally act like someone's making me do some terrible job I never wanted to do. I blow pretty much every deadline I'm given.


Just like I blew the one for NaNoWriMo.


But then, when things are late, and I'm feeling like an idiot, and I feel like I'm letting down someone (like the people at NaNoWriMo, and you), I finally dig in and get started. And then I write, and I write in a fury, and I even, sometimes, enjoy writing.
And that's why I love NaNoWriMo. It gets you started. It gives you the impetus to finally start, and/or finally finish. Knowing there are thousands of others out there trying to do the same, who are using this ridiculous deadline as cattle-prod and shame deterrent, means goddamnit, you better do it now because you know how to write, and you have fingers, and you have this one life, and during this one life, you should put your words down, and make your voice heard, and then let others hear your voice. And the only way any of that's going to happen is if you actually do it. People can't read the thoughts in your head. They can only read the thoughts you put down, carefully and with great love, on the page. So you have to do it, goddamnit. You have to do it, and you can step back and be happy. You can step back and relax. You can step back and feel something like pride.
Then of course you'll have to revise it ten or twenty times, but let's not talk about that yet.

Write your goddamned book now. The world awaits.


D
Dave Eggers is the author of Zeitoun and What is the What.


Edited to add:
They've announced the "winner" of the 2010 Bad Sex in Fiction award. It goes to author Rowan Somerville for his book The Shape Of Her, a nothing sort of novel that was evidently self-published(?).
I have to say, even if it sounds like bragging, the one sex scene in the novel that I attempted to complete this month was a thousand times better than this crap that Sommerville wrote.

Am I a bad Indian?

Okay, confession time - I don't find the term "American Indian" offensive.

As someone who can claim full heritage in more than two first nation tribes in the United States, I know I should probably care more about the argument over the political correctness of this name, but I just don't. And while I'm confessing here, I'll just go ahead and come clean that I also don't find any of this country's sports teams with Native American-themed mascots offensive either. These are shameful opinions for the daughter of two prominent AIM activists to have and share with the world.
I think it's sort of ridiculous that the NCAA has spent an enormous amount of time and money implementing their 2005 rule that colleges can't have Native American mascots; or that several colleges have wasted even more time and money choosing to fight this rule in court. The University of North Dakota is the latest school to lose their case for keeping their "Fighting Sioux" mascot. They were the last of the colleges to still be fighting the regulation (their case has been going on for almost 2 years). They have to come up with a new mascot and officially get rid of everything with the Sioux figure head and logo by next June.
Of the two Dakota Sioux tribes, the Spirit Lake tribal council has been overwhelmingly supportive of the university keeping the "Fighting" mascot; it's the Standing Rock tribe that opposes it and refused to budge. UND officials were hoping that they'd get to be grandfathered in with an exception like Florida State was when the Seminole nation (including my card-carrying AIM activist father) voted unanimously to allow FSU to keep its mascot and logo.
Redskins, Indians, Warriors. People wearing wigs and headdresses, or braiding their hair into a pig-tail on each side of their head and wearing a headband.

Young men wearing fringed outfits as they jump around on their playing fields and cheer their teams. Plastic tomahawks. Fake war cries, with people slapping the palms of their hands against their mouths and making aiyee ahh sounds. NONE of this bothers me. Does that make me a horrible person?
Do you think even less of me when I tell you that I just ordered a University of North Dakota "Fighting Sioux" hoodie while they're still available?

"So, there you go."

Thoughts on this week's episode of The Challenge: Cut(My)throat -

• Awesome part 1: Batshit crazy Katie!!! Gawddam, I love this little psycho. And I felt so bad for her when her team sent her into the Gulag instead of useless, annoying Theresa. I'm glad Katie lived to fight (and beat/scream down bitches) another day.
• Awesome part 2: After Katie (rightfully) flipped the f*ck out on Ty for being a mysogonistic, hypocritical asshole, Derrick's response regarding Ty and Emily getting a taste of Katie's crazy - "So...there you go."
• Awesome part 3: The Red Team won this week so Brandon didn't have to go into the Gulag.

• My obsession with Johnny Bananas' hair week #3: I'm truly trying to rack my brain to remember if Bananas always had such whack, fake looking hair and I just ignored it. But I don't recall it ever being this bad - Hair Club For Men lookin', flat-ironed weirdness.

• Awesome part 4: Bananas got punched in the face by a Czech citizen. Thank you brave man whoever you are!
• Awesome part 5: "Medium" Easy whipped dumb Vinnie's ass in the Gulag! And then Vinnie was so mad about it that he acted like a little whiner afterwards. Now, I hope that the rest of the Blue team (minus loyal Derrick and Katie) step up and appreciate the good that Easy brings to their team. Send Bananas into the Gulag you dumbasses!

• Horrible Laurel and her hate-filled spew towards Erik was easily one of the grossest things I've ever seen on this show. Laurel is a digusting mess, who has some SERIOUS mental health issues.

Above: Laurel keepin' it classy in the hot tub.
Who needs mixed drinks when you can just mix your own directly in your mouth?!

Spencer Pratt - Craziest douchebag of all time?

Is this the face of someone sane? Good LORD! What is wrong with Spencer Pratt? I seriously think that he might be bi-polar and definitely needs to be on some sort of psychopharmacological treatment plan.

I'm afraid of what he'll do now that The Hills is off the air and his dumb, fucked up wife Heidi Montag has left him. And after last week's antics with the MTV finale party for the show, and the fact that Pratt is now calling himself an "artist" (that owns an easel and everything!), I'm worried for the safety of you know, like America.

30 years from now, how are we going to explain the existence of Spencer Pratt to our children and grand-children?

Linky link - Early summer 2010 edition

• One of my biggest pet peeves is denim shorts on anyone above the age of 12. I HATE jean shorts, be they cut-off or hemmed, long or short, fitted or loose. "The Sassy Curmudgeon", Una LaMarche, has a great story about jean shorts on the Huffington Post this week.

• I'm so secretly excited about this upcoming premier season of The Real Housewives of D.C. And not only because it's my home town.

• All of this Jake and Vienna break-up nonsense has been so amusing, but none of it more awesome than all of the "Jake is gay" rumors that have resurfaced. And all of the interviews where Jake keeps swearing he's not gay! I personally don't think he is; I wouldn't want to have sex with Vienna either...

• Okay, I loved The Mole when it was on ABC, so I'm cautiously optimistic about this latest Big Brother season twist.

• Why can't it just be September already!!! I love Jonny Lee Miller so much.

Television Revisited - For the love of Glee's "Acafellas"

Summer hiatus television. A lot of silly new shows, returning cable favorites, and a chance for the networks to run repeats of their hit shows' past season. Fox is rerunning Glee from the beginning throughout the summer and this week's episode was the infamous "Acafellas". Now if you ask most fans, and definitely most detractors of Glee, to name one episode that they hated, many would name this one. "Acafellas" was the episode that caused no less than 4 of my friends to stop watching Glee altogether, even though it was only the 3rd episode into the series.

The chief complaints included: the story arc strayed away from the kids and focused too much on Mr. Schuester and tertiary characters that we never see; it didn't make sense for Schue to want to give up on the glee club so quickly; the confidence "lesson" theme; Mercedes not understanding that Kurt is gay was totally unbelievable and seemed to contradict previous eps; the dumb show choir choreographer Dakota; the Acafellas music was lame...and while I agree that there were some flaws to this ep, I've never understood why people didn't like it.
I love it! Here are some reasons why:

• The other name options for the acapella hip hop group were "Crescendudes" and "Testostertones". Hee hee
• Victor Garber was introduced as Will's dad. And sure, he hasn't been back but just knowing that there's a possibility that I'll get to see Garber and Morrison singing a duet someday is enough.
• Other cameos included Tony award winner John Lloyd Young as returning shop teacher Henri and Josh Groban as himself giving us a small hint at the brilliance he'd show later in the season finale.
• This was the first episode to really introduce the fantasy element to Glee; with performances turning into dream sequences and where the audience gets to be inside the heads of the characters. People have come to love, or at least "get" this element of the show now, but I think it was hard to adjust to it when it was first introduced.
• We got to fully know and fall in love with MILF-lover Noah "Puck" Puckerman.
• Anytime we get to see Sheets n Things employee Howard is always a good thing, especially when people are yelling lines at him like - "Who is Josh Groban?!! Kill yourself!"
• THE MUSIC IS AWESOME. Maybe it's because all of that early cheesy hip hop came on to the scene when I was in college, hearing Bel Biv Devoe, Montel Jordan, and Color Me Badd (especially song acapella) just brings a smile to my face. 

Reality TV musings for the week of June 14

So You Think You Can Dance - we got through the first round of competition for this season 7 and eliminated our first girl. Even though it saddens me that we've only had 2 female winners for this show (Katee should've won season 4), I've resigned myself to the fact that this season the girls are severely out-classed by the guys. The talent level for the men is off the effin' charts! I've already predicted an all male top 4 in my SYTYCD fantasy pool (hurry and get your vote forms in before 6/23/10). So far I'm liking the All-Star concept, but I'm worried that we're going to have a serious lopsided field gender-wise.

Work of Art: The Next Great Artist - Boy did I want to hate this show. But, Bravo TV has done it again, by creating a reality show that TOTALLY appeals to me and has me hooked. Gosh, my mom would've loved this show. She was an artist that never got to have her day, but instead taught and went into the administrative end of things (at the Smithsonian). But she kept up on the NY and European scene and knew who was being promoted as the "next hot thing". Maybe it's the contestants on this innagural season, who are surprisingly likeable even when they're acting like pretentious pricks. Maybe it's the fact that the judges and host (take note Shear Genius!) are totally legit and real experts in the art world (I mean they have gawddam Simon de Pury as the mentor on the show. What?!) But so far this gem is nicely filling a void that I didn't realize I had in my reality tv world.

HGTV Design Star - season 5! In NYC! With no Clive as host! This week's premier got us off to a good start. I don't hate, nor have I bonded, with any of these candidates yet, but I like what I see from a few of them. Now if only Vern Yip would stop being so patronizing I think the show would be perfect.