"Does this ad make me look fat?"

So you know that Yoplait yogurt commercial that shows the lady at the office agonizing over whether she should enjoy a piece of raspberry cheesecake or not, by justifying what she'll do to compensate for the extra calories? It's a funny and effective piece of advertising, right?
Well evidently some overly sensitive wackadoos concerned people over at the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) think that the ad sends a very dangerous message so they've demanded that the ad be pulled off the air, and Yoplait agreed. Sigh...really?
NEDA (which is of course based out of Seattle, #1 city for passive-aggression) has said "a commercial showing a thin person anxiously doing mental gymnastics in order to justify eating dessert—and then denying herself the treat because she wants to be even thinner—could reinforce the idea that such deliberations are healthy and normal".
But...but I think that is normal. Look, this country has a shit-ton of people who are obese and just as many more who are dieting or have lost weight but still find it a daily struggle to maintain their efforts. People have arguments and conversations with themselves all the time regarding whether or not to eat that chocolate chip cookie or have that second helping of lasagne. That's why the ad works! I don't understand NEDA's position on this at all. If we have to calibrate all food advertising to cater to the emotional stability of people with eating disorders, then should we even had any ads at all for food?

Am I being insensitive? Whatever. None of this controversy even addressed my problem with the Yoplait ad. What kind of office do these people work in where they have co-workers bringing in gourmet, fancy, delicious looking raspberry cheesecake for everyone to enjoy? I want to work there!

Damn foreign commercials have all the fun!

Why the hell can't American commercials be this entertaining?!

A little mini rant - Merry Christmas to all...

• Cheesy ads for tired and old celebrity fragrances: Why is it that every holiday season the powers that be drag out the horrible White Diamonds advertisement to torture us? Seriously, who the hell still wears "White Diamonds"?! It smells like cat piss and baby powder and it was first on the market in 1985! The Britney Spears fragrance collection isn't any better; they drag out the old pre-baby Spears ad for Curious or "Inquisitive" or whatever the fuck it's called. Seeing these ads wouldn't irk me so much if they played on a regular rotation throughout the year; but they only play during Christmas/Hannukah. Almost assuredly geared towards hapless men who haven't figured out what to get their wives/girlfriends. Hey guys? Women don't want cheap perfume!
• I hate when UPS/USPS/FedEx etc. promise that a package will be delivered by Christmas Eve and then they don't deliver on that promise.
• If I hear any of the following holiday songs again in the next 12 months I will punch someone: Silent Night, Wonderful Christmastime, Step into Christmas, Feliz Navidad, anything sung by Johnny Mathis.
• I hate being sick at Christmas time. It sucks balls. I have no patience, and no energy to do anything and I have a lot to do. Uggh, is it 2010 yet?

Sing it with me - "ACTivEEyAAAH..."

By now the Dannon Activia ads and the Saturday Night Live spot-on spoofs of them are known by practically everyone. And countless folks have blogged and bitched about them before so what I have to say isn't anything new, but I've been seeing the latest ad every time I turn the television on and it's really been bugging me, so allow me to rant.

(on the left - Why is this lady smiling so hard? Did she just poop?)

WTF Dannon? In the latest ad two ladies are relaxing on lounge chairs at a fancy pool (the Dannon website says they're at a "spa") and one turns to the other says "Wanna go for a swim?". The poor lady responds in a loud whisper that she can't - "she's a little irregular" - complete with the swirling hand motions over her belly and a wacky grimace on her face.

I find so many things wrong with this scene - first, if you were only slightly constipated (the lady laughs off the suggestion of eating Activia because her "problems" are so minor) wouldn't swimming in nice cool bouyant water make you feel better? And the exercise would possibly even stimulate your bowels? Second, would a sane person even admit to their friend that they don't feel like swimming because they need to take a crap?! No. You would just say, "hey I want to read this book", or "girl, I'm getting my flirt on with the towel boy/cabana boy/bartender/masseuse, I'd rather not leave this chair", or in this case because the constipated lady is of African-American descent she could've said that she didn't want to get her hair wet.

While I love me some Jamie Lee Curtis, I've never been a fan of these ads. The funky arrow formed out of bacteria orbs that points down indicating that as soon as you eat the yogurt poop will just shoot out of you; the way Dannon insists on calling constipation "slow intestinal transit" like it's some damn light rail train in your body; the fact that Dannon seemingly came up with their own trademarked name for the probiotic bateria that used in the yogurt - Bifidus Regularis, I mean can you just make up your own scientific sounding name like that?

There is a reason I love Tivo, so I think I'll just be boop-beeb-booping over these commercials in the future.

Has it really come to this?

The one and only Steve Austin and Colt Seavers hawking his "Lee Majors 'Bionic' Hearing Aids"?! Say it ain't so...

(Apologies for the crappy video quality - gotta love Youtube)

On the other hand, I just listened to the song "Unknown Stuntman" for the first time in like 15 years. Still really good!

Pet Peeve Commercial - "White Diamonds" Perfume

White Diamonds Commercial

Okay, this commercial was annoying back when it first premiered...in 1987! But's it's even more ridiculous to watch it now in present day.

It's so over the top and over dramatic. "These have always brought me luck." Uggh. And La Liz's hair! It's so tragically 80s. As cheesy as this ad is, it does have a pretty high production value. I've always wondered how much money was thrown down to make this schlock.

For whatever reason, this dated commercial is dusted off every year around the holidays. In the hopes that some sucker that doesn't know what to buy their grandma, mid-western mother, favorite drag queen, will be inspired to run down to the local drug store and buy a bottle of this crap. Let me tell you - it smells AWFUL. Like cat piss mixed with lemon Pledge.

Do yourself a favor folks, enjoy the commercial in an ironic way but do not waste your money on this stuff. Sorry Liz.