It's That Time of Year...For what? Time for the 2013 CHEESY HOLIDAY TV MOVIE EXTRAVAGANZA

It's November! Time for me to clog my dvr up with dozens of super dumb holiday tv movies. I'm convinced that these Holiday movies are almost single-handedly keeping Canadian actors and production companies in business. They're also the only place I still get to see some of my favorite bad actresses - Daphne Zuniga, Kellie Martin, Jennie Garth, Nancy McKeon, Haylie Duff, Shelly Long, Sean Young...it's one of my main reasons that I get such a kick out of these things.

My holiday movie watching got an earlier than usual start this year because my two main sources for these cheesetastic goodies, Hallmark Channel and Lifetime, both started their "Countdown to Christmas" and "It's A Wonderful Lifetime" programming before Halloween candy had been consumed.

Lifetime has most of their Xmas movie classics in full rotation on the weekends (with notable exception - where's my "Flirting With Forty"? - easily in my top 5 holiday movies, and apparently not considered a holiday movie anymore, even though it takes place over Xmas/New Years), and Lifetime has been premiering at least one new movie every weekend since November 1; sometimes premiering two new ones in one evening.
First out of the gate was the new entry "A Country Christmas Story" starring no other than Dolly Parton! I wish I could say that it was a good movie, but I was too distracted by the fact that the young star of the movie, Desiree Ross, looks so much like Anna Paquin, if she were young and black, that it pulled my focus from the story of the girl who wishes to make it as a singer and reunite with her father.

I'm really looking forward to this week's new movie, "Kristin's Christmas Past", starring Shiri Appleby. I'm a sucker for anything that involves alums from the old tv show Roswell. Also read this description tell me it doesn't sound awesome:
falls asleep alone on Christmas Eve only to wake up and discover it’s Christmas morning 1996 and she has to relive the worst Christmas of her life! But this time, Kristin decides to do things differently to change not only her imperfect past, but also her less- than-perfect future. ‘80s icon and Golden Globe nominee JUDD NELSON returns to the screen

SOLD! Coming up in the next few weeks include holiday movies featuring Jordin Sparks, Mel B., and David Hasselhoff.
Other classic Lifetime Xmas movies that I never get tired of include: 12 Men of Christmas, Holiday Highschool Reunion, The March Sisters at Christmas, and Under The Mistletoe.

Now we move on to Hallmark Channel - the juggernaut, THE originator of the TV Holiday movie. Except for a few hours of programming in the morning, they are cramming the hundreds of holiday movies that they've produced over the decades on to the airwaves. And they repeat them a lot. Oh no! You missed the 6pm Tuesday showing of (the excellent) "Trading Christmas"? Don't worry, it's playing again on Saturday morning. And probably next week too. 
They're not trying to give up their crown anytime soon because this year, during their "Countdown to Christmas" they are debuting TWENTY-FOUR(!) new Christmas movies. Daunting. I'm going to attempt to watch all of them. Within reason; I'm not watching the one starring Tim Allen about Santa's talking dog. Well, maybe.

So far of the six that I've watched, the two best new Hallmark holiday movies have been "Snow Bride" and "The Christmas Ornament".


"Snow Bride" stars the gorgeous Katrina Law as a gossip mag reporter who drives to Big Bear, CA to try and get the scoop on the hot older son in a Kennedy-esque family who is famously guarded and possibly getting married. Her car breaks down and hijinks ensue!

"The Christmas Ornament" stars Hallmark movie stalwart, Kellie Martin as a widow who is a struggling small business owner who falls in love with a Christmas tree farmer. It is CHARMING, and one that I will definitely rewatch in years to come.

Upcoming new Xmas movies from Hallmark will feature Nicolette Sheridan (always great), Sarah Lancaster (another lady who has made at least 10 of these movies), Chyler Leigh, Alan Thicke, and The Judds.
Hallmark has WAY TOO MANY good Xmas cheese in its vaults to list here. But trust me - go to their web page, look through the archive, almost of their movies can be streamed online or viewed through your cable's On-Demand function.
This holds true for all of the channels playing holiday movies over the next couple of months.

Honorable mention has to go to ABCFamily who has just started getting into the Xmas tv movie game with their "25 Days of Christmas". But they're wasting no time trying to up the "awesome" ante by premiering "Christmas Bounty" starring none other than MTV Real World alum, and current WWE star, Mike "The Miz" Mizanin. I guess pro wrestling is like acting, so this was just the next logical step.

Can't wait. I'm going to have to take a few vacation days just to fit them all in!

Nashville - Season 1 finale

Just got around to watching the first season finale of Nashville, and all I can say is - HOLY. FUCK. I'm so glad ABC had the smarts to bring this show (and Connie Britton's glorious hair) back for another season.
Also, the addition of Chris Carmack as Will was a brilliant move on the part of the writers/producers etc. Please make him a major character next season.
Also also, I know I'm the only person besides Jonathan Jackson's parents that love the character of Avery, but seriously, I really like how they've handled the season story arc of his character. Keep on keepin' on son!

SIFF 2013 - Week 1 (so far...)

This year, the festival got off to a late start for me because I was enjoying the heck out of an impromptu vacation on the Oregon coast. But as soon as I got back into town, in fact within hours of being back in Seattle city limits, I was at the SIFF Uptown theater to see my first film of the festival, a Turkish drama called Jin. Sort of like "Run, Lola, Run", but with a 17yr old Kurdish freedom fighter. This was a sad and beautifully shot movie with "magical realism" qualities blended with some seriously brutish storytelling.
I'm glad I saw it but I'm not sure I'd recommend it.

Next up was the DELIGHTFUL French romantic comedy Populaire. You guys, I seriously love the French actress Déborah François. She's enchanting. I was first introduced to her last year at SIFF in another great romantic comedy, Les Tribulations d'une Caissière. Why the hell can't America make a good romantic comedy anymore?! Please take note American screenwriters and film studios - it is possible! Anyway, "Populaire" is set in Normandy in 1959, when being a secretary was all the rage! The movie centers around an International Speed Typing contest, and...You know what? It doesn't matter what it's about - I was charmed out of my pants! I haven't heard that much clapping or seen that many smiles on audience members' faces in years.

My third film in three days was the Spanish dark comedy Bypass. I can't have a SIFF where I don't see at least 2 films from Spain, and this seemed fun. It was just ok.


The last movie I saw as of this blog posting was a true gem from the Philippines. Bwakaw is a sweet, yet sad film starring the great Eddie Garcia as Rene, a curmudgeonly gay man in his late 70s, living in a suburb of Manila, who has nothing to do in his retirement except meticulously plan his death and rewrite his will on a daily basis. His best friend is his dog, the titular Bwakaw. When she gets sick, Rene's life gets turned upside down. You guys? Everyone was crying in the audience. BUT this is truly not a depressing movie. I wish everyone could see this film; the SIFF guide describes it as "life-affirming" and they got it right. This is the kind of movie that I count on SIFF exposing me to every year.

10 Random Thoughts - "Streets of Fire" edition

1. The first 10 minutes of Streets of Fire, the infamous "rock and roll fable" from 1984, are some of my favorite minutes on film. Diane Lane as Ellen Aim and her band The Attackers singing "Nowhere Fast" are so damn hot. 
2. I love everything about Diane Lane's Ellen Aim. I love the weird 80s/50s leather/spandex hybrid clothing she wears, I love her mullet, her lipstick. I even love that atrocious Golden Girls-style sequin box dress she wears at the end of the movie. Hard to believe she was only 19 when the film was made.
3. The music in this movie KICKS ALL KINDS OF ASS. I've owned the soundtrack in 5 different mediums: 8-track, album, cassette, cd, and mp3. That's love, people.
4. This film was my first exposure to Willem Dafoe. He is terrifyingly creepy (and secretly sexy? eww) as Raven Shaddock the evil leader of the motorcycle gang The Bombers. I didn't realize for a long time that he was the same actor in Platoon. Raven's white skin, weird possum mouth, and his hair gave me nightmares as a teen.
5. Michael Pare is really not a good actor. I take that back. He has Keanu Reeves syndrome; where his voice is so monotone that he sounds really dumb, and you don't even realize how great a job he's doing until it's too late. He was easy on the eyes back then though. Not aging well however.
6. What is Deborah Van Valkenburgh  doing these days?
7. The 4 actors that play the doo-wop group The Sorels are a who's who of 1980s "Black Acting School" alums. If you don't understand that reference, stop, and immediately go watch Robert Townsend's Hollywood Shuffle.
8. Bill Paxton's Clyde is like if Chet was a bartender in the 1950s.
9. Not to gush more about the music, but the two main songs by Jim Steinman that bracket the movie are seriously in my top 500 songs of all time. I have a secret desire to sing them on stage somewhere with a full band and back-up singers behind me.
10. If I was unlimitedly wealthy I would finance a full-musical remake of Streets of Fire. In fact, I've always thought it would make an excellent stage musical. Don't steal my idea! Patent pending!!!

Streets of Fire is currently on Netflix instant streaming. So what are you waiting for?! The soundtrack is in my car if you want to borrow that too.

A few things that I'm obessed with this week...

Police have reopened the investigation of the mysterious death of actress Natalie Wood. I was OBSESSED with this case as a pre-teen kid. First of all, I thought that Natalie Wood was so beautiful. She was my first girl-crush. I was into a lot of true crime stuff at the time, and this also had the added attraction of involving 3 actors that I knew and liked. And I don't know, somehow it was oddly romantic?
Natalie Wood's body was found floating in a cove off the coast of Catalina Island, Thanksgiving weekend 1981. Her death was ruled as an accidental drowning but suspicion has always been thrown on her husband Robert Wagner, who along with actor Christopher Walken were with Wood on her and Wagner's yacht in Catalina.
The three had been drinking when an argument erupted; supposedly over the reveal that Wood and Walken had been carrying on a secret affair. According to both Wagner and Walken, Natalie had stomped away angrily and that was last they saw of her until her body was recovered. They did find that one of their small inflatable boats was missing and it was assumed that Wood took this and subsequently drowned.
However, suspicion was thrown on Wagner when the captain of the boat said that he'd seen Wagner and Wood arguing shortly after she had stormed off the top deck where the initial argument had occurred. But police had never been able to prove anything against Wagner, and generally it has always been believed that he had nothing to do with her death; beyond being involved in the verbal fight that was the catalyst for her to leave the boat.

So why have the police decided to reopen this case after 30 years? Well, that old captain has come forward this week and said that he lied to police about seeing Wagner and Wood argue on the lower deck. Why did he do it? Who knows, but since that couldn't possibly be enough to reopen a cold case like this, I have to wonder what other new evidence the police have that they can't reveal yet.

But I sure am waiting with baited breath to see what happens next.

Wasn't Natalie Wood just gorgeous?




Another thing that I've been bummed about is the split between Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. I've had a weird love of this couple ever since they got together in 2005. I found their relationship to be charming. I genuinely like Ashton Kutcher as an actor and a person, and it's annoying to think that all of those rumors about him fooling around are actually true. Especially with the women that he supposedly had the affairs with - those 2 ladies are fugly and stupid looking! So disappointed.

Finally, it was Regis' last day today on Live! with Regis and Kelly. I actually kind of hate Regis Philbin, but I loved his dynamic with Kelly Ripa (who can do no wrong in my book) and have always enjoyed Live!, even in the Kathie Lee Gifford days.
I'll definitely be recording the shows all next week as they start their official process for selecting his replacement. My #1 vote? Mark Consuelos!!! Kelly Ripa's hubby is awesome and has done a great job filling in for Regis over the past decade. He and Kelly are the greatest. But maybe their marriage would suffer working together every day? If that's the case, then don't do it Mark! I can't deal with another beloved celebrity couple splitting up.

If actress Grace Kelly had lived she would've been 81 years old today. Reading the interwebs today about her is making me think of one of my favorite fictional characters in American cinema - Lisa Freemont. The privileged, gorgeous but savvy society girl who saves the day in the movie Rear Window.

When I was first exposed to Grace Kelly's Lisa Freemont as a young 8-year old girl, I thought she was the most beautiful, the smartest, and the most captivating woman I had ever encountered.
Lisa Freemont opened up whole new worlds for me with little profound bon mots like - "A woman going anywhere but the hospital would always take makeup, perfume and jewelry."     
Lisa was so glamorous! She was the fashion editor at Harper's Bazaar! And without her, her boyfriend wouldn't have solved the crime! Who else would've noticed a small detail like jewelry - 
"Women don't keep all their jewelry in a purse, all tangled, getting scratched and twisted up." - and run with that to expose the truth about the killer?!  

And on top of it all, Lisa Freemont taught me how to pack smart:

1. Take one beautiful, black leather Mark Cross attache bag.
2. Place inside said case a toothbrush and toothpaste, one ankle length pink satin nightgown with matching peignoir and a clean pair of underpants.
3. Don't forget your bedroom slippers.

TV Round Up - mid July edition

Wow, this summer is zooming by, and I've surprisingly been out enjoying the gorgeous weather Seattle's been having, and NOT watching television. So my darling Tivo and Tifaux have been backed up waiting patiently for me to catch up on all the trashy and excellent goodness. And this past weekend I was able to get through an amazing amount of tv, thanks to the fact that I had two big home improvement projects that forced me to sit on the floor and put equipment together  - perfect for boob tube watching!
Some random thoughts about what I've seen this week -

• This season of So You Think You Can Dance has got to be the strangest on record. Not only because of the new "All Star" format, but because the eliminations have been so wacky. First we had the imbalance of more guy than girl contestants. Then America and Nigel & Co. decided to systematically eliminate 3 girls in a row. Then we had the HORRIBLE injuries for Alex Wong and Ashley Galvan. So now we're left with only ONE GIRL (the amazing Lauren), and 5 guys. The season is kind of turning into a disaster. The only thing saving it is Cat Deely and the chance to see some of my favorite All Stars dance again. I swear to God if Jose or Adechike don't go home this week I'll be super pissed off.
• You know what SYTYCD thing I am excited about? The upcoming tour that will feature Season 6 (hell yeah!) Season 7 and All Star dancers. Yippeee! Tix go sale at the end of July.
• True Blood is AWESOME this season. And getting "awesomer" with every episode. There are so many good things that I don't even know where to start to list them. This past Sunday's episode was one of the high points of the season; and seriously, if you haven't seen Mr. Fabulous himself, Lafayette Reynolds, blushing and flirting shyly with hot nurse Jesus, then you haven't seen the definition of awesome. I say this all the time but I really love the way the writers have taken the stories and characters from the Charlaine Harris books and morphed them for the small screen. They stay true to the essence of the book and stories, but expand, switch, cut, and add wonderful things. And the actors this season are really stepping up - and thank you Alan Ball and the HBO wardrobe dept for not spending much in the shirt budget. Keep that part up.
• I'm still a fan of Bravo's Work of Art, but if that faker Miles wins the whole thing I will be peeved.
• Dear Allison Grodner and the rest of the Big Brother producers - ha ha ha hee ah ha Your big twist this season got busted with the very first elimination! Nice. And while I'm actually thankful that you chose houseguests that are relatively sane this season, they're also kind of boring. So now I'm worried that this will cause you to go back to your crazy stunt casting and fill season 13 with a bunch of Evel Dicks, Chimas, Jesses and Boogies. Don't do that  please.
• Thank god odious Vern Yip, cool Genevieve Groder, and the queen Candice Olsen finally got rid of that hag Nina this week on HGTV's Design Star. I was starting to worry that they were forgetting that the winner of this show is supposed to be someone that we want to watch on television. Nina is NEVER going to be the answer to that question.
• I am living for the return of David Suchet as Hercule Poirot in the latest Masterpiece Mystery series. In fact this season of Mystery has been excellent all around and only promises to get better with Inspector Lewis coming back in a couple of months.
• I've already gushed about The Choir, but seriously why aren't you watching this gem yet?!
• I thoroughly enjoyed the debut of TNT's Rizzoli & Isles a new cop drama starring my #1 girl crush Angie Harmon. And evidently its premier did gangbusters in the ratings, so yay!

And with the upcoming Season 8 of Project Runway starting up next week, this summer's line up is really heating up.