The Duchess Is a Know-it-all

2012-01-30T09:30:00.000-08:00

You guys? Downton Abbey you guys! It was INTENSE last night. Am I right?

SPOILER ALERT: Poor Matthew!!!! And even more so - POOR WILLIAM! I feel only pity for dumb dumb Ethel.

2012 Oscar Death Race - An exercise in futility

2012-01-24T16:38:00.000-08:00

The 2012 Academy Awards nominations have arrived, and thus begins this year's Oscar Death Race in full effect!
Day 1 Race Standings:
Of the 61 films nominated this year, I have as of this writing seen 30 of them. And I've completed 5 of the 24 categories.
These stats may change considerably by the end of this day because I am seeing Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy tonight which is one of the few movies nominated for a "major award" that I have yet to see.
I'm counting on my local theater the Varsity to help me by showing the nominated shorts - Animated and Live Action - like they have the past couple of years, so that I can complete those two categories and cross off a lot of movies from the list of 61. It would be lovely if Varsity or SIFF showed the Documentary Shorts which has been one of my death knells in past year's "Races".
This year a surprisingly snag in Race completion has come in the form of the Best Foreign Film nominations. Usually my film festival attendance and general love of movies from other lands has me sitting pretty in this category. But this year's Foreign film noms only have two movies that I've seen. Two of the nominated films I've never even heard of!! Damn AMPAS, help a sista' out.
I frown upon downloading and watching illegally pirated movies, which I consider cheating during the Race. I will lament and whine for the rest of January and February if I can't find a way to see these foreign movies in a legitimate way.

2012 Oscar Nominations and the Oscar Death Race begins!!

2012-01-24T12:24:00.000-08:00

"...Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Jennifer Lawrence at 5:30 in the morning. Nine Best Picture nominees tied up with string, these are a few of my favorite things!"

That's right, the 2012 Academy Awards nominations were announced this morning. Hugo led the way with 11 nominations, with The Artist a close second, scoring 10 nominations of its own. After all of the hulabaloo over the new Best Picture nom logorithm decision process, in the end a total of 9 pictures met the qualifications to gain nominations for the big prize. Joining Hugo and The Artist are Tree of Life, War Horse, Moneyball, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, The Descendants, Midnight in Paris, and The Help.
As I did last year, I'm participating in The Oscar Death Race, that Sarah Bunting over at Tomato Nation came up with a couple of years ago, where you attempt to see every film nominated in all categories. This year there are 61 movies nominated. I'll be giving updates on my progress as the weeks go by, but so far I've seen a good percentage of the films nominated this year. That being said however, I'm still pretty sure I'm going to fail the race again this year.
My nemesis category for 2012 is definitely Best Foreign Film. I really thought I had this category in the bag after attending various film festivals throughout 2011 and seeing a crapload of foreign films. But when all was said and done, this morning cute Jennifer Lawrence only ended up naming 2 movies that I've seen:

"Monsieur Lazhar" and "A Separation".

Footnote? In Darkness? In what now? So frustrating. I've been told that a local Seattle arthouse theater is actually going to show Bullhead soon, so I'm hoping to see this nominee soon. But for the others, I'm not holding my breath. Other potential downfall categories include Costume Design (Anonymous? REALLY?) and the Documentary Shorts. Also, I am PISSED that I am being forced to see that fucking Transformers movie. Grrrrr....

Lovely and Amazing

2012-01-23T11:05:00.000-08:00

I know everyone already blew up Twitter and the other social media outlets on the interwebs last week talking about Marc Maron's interview with Todd Glass on Maron's WTF podcast, but I want to make my own declaration of love.
Todd Glass has been one of my favorite comedians for decades. I could seriously listen/see Glass or Paul F. Tompkins (both from Philadelphia ironically) do comedy every single day of my life and not get bored.
I've had a little crush on Todd for years, so it was with a small amount of regret that I listened to Todd come out publicly as a gay man to Maron and the world.
But while my celebrity crush was squashed, getting a chance to hear Todd's journey and share his story was such a rare and gratifying privilege. I love you even more Todd Glass! Thanks for your candor and your bravery.
If you get a chance, please download and listen to this conversation.

Post Seattle Snowpocalypse 2012

2012-01-21T12:13:00.000-08:00

First came all of the snow on Wednesday, January 18, 2012. It started around 3:30 AM and kept going and going, snowing a constant blanket of that powdery white that compacts so well and makes for great snow balls. By late Wednesday night the temperature had dropped significantly, and the shit on the ground was freezing and turning into ice.
The next morning we woke to this horror: A world covered in ice. And around 10AM it started to snow again and continued until the afternoon, when it changed to dumping a frozen sleet on the ground.

By Friday it was all over; except for the thaw and the digging out. The amount of shoveling, ice-picking, and glacier removal that I had to do to unearth my car so that I could drive the 2 miles down the road to see my father was ridiculous.
The Seattle side streets today are still a slushy, wet, treacherous mess. But at least one good thing came out of this shut-in week: I watched and cleared out HOURS of programming from my dvr. And I didn't lose power once.
It's the small things.

Golden Globes 2012 Fashion smashes

2012-01-16T00:34:00.000-08:00

I liked quite a few of the outfits on the red carpet at this year's Golden Globes. I thought Angelina Jolie was perfection. Natalie Portman and Jessica Alba were also fetching in strapless gowns.

I thought Kate Winslet looked stunning in this black and cream number. Claire Danes wore a similar look/color scheme but I didn't post her pic because she chose to bring her mom instead of her hot husband Hugh Dancy to the ceremony for me to look at.

Emma Stone and Laura Dern sported two looks that I loved but I know others felt differently.

Finally, in my opinion Tilda Swinton rocked my world in this ice blue dress and jacket combo. I just think she's amazing.

10 Random Thoughts - "Streets of Fire" edition

2011-12-27T18:07:00.000-08:00

The first 10 minutes of Streets of Fire, the infamous "rock and roll fable" from 1984, are some of my favorite minutes on film. Diane Lane as Ellen Aim and her band The Attackers singing "Nowhere Fast" are so damn hot.
I love everything about Diane Lane's Ellen Aim. I love the weird 80s/50s leather/spandex hybrid clothing she wears, I love her mullet, her lipstick. I even love that atrocious Golden Girls-style sequin box dress she wears at the end of the movie. Hard to believe she was only 19 when the film was made.
The music in this movie KICKS ALL KINDS OF ASS. I've owned the soundtrack in 5 different mediums: 8-track, album, cassette, cd, and mp3. That's love, people.
This film was my first exposure to Willem Dafoe. He is terrifyingly creepy (and secretly sexy? eww) as Raven Shaddock the evil leader of the motorcycle gang The Bombers. I didn't realize for a long time that he was the same actor in Platoon. Raven's white skin, weird possum mouth, and his hair gave me nightmares as a teen.
Michael Pare is really not a good actor. I take that back. He has Keanu Reeves syndrome; where his voice is so monotone that he sounds really dumb, and you don't even realize how great a job he's doing until it's too late. He was easy on the eyes back then though. Not aging well however.
What is Deborah Van Valkenburgh doing these days?
The 4 actors that play the doo-wop group The Sorels are a who's who of 1980s "Black Acting School" alums. If you don't understand that reference, stop, and immediately go watch Robert Townsend's Hollywood Shuffle.
Bill Paxton's Clyde is like if Chet was a bartender in the 1950s.
Not to gush more about the music, but the two main songs by Jim Steinman that bracket the movie are seriously in my top 500 songs of all time. I have a secret desire to sing them on stage somewhere with a full band and back-up singers behind me.
If I was unlimitedly wealthy I would finance a full-musical remake of Streets of Fire. In fact, I've always thought it would make an excellent stage musical. Don't steal my idea! Patent pending!!!

Streets of Fire is currently on Netflix instant streaming. So what are you waiting for?! The soundtrack is in my car if you want to borrow that too.

Cheestastic Holiday TV Movies - For the week of December 19

2011-12-20T16:40:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again! The month of December where my dvr(s) get filled to the brim with dozens of horrifyingly awesome, badly written/acted Christmas-themed TV movies. These films are like comforting baby food that I eat up (by the gallons) with a spoon.
Lifetime and the Hallmark Channel (and their movies-only sister channels) are the main culprits in inflicting these messes on the masses. ABC Family and AMC have their hands in there too.
Here's a list of just some of what I've consumed in the last week:

- A Dog Named Christmas

- Mistletoe Over Manhattan, starring the chick from "Battlestar Galactica"!!

- A Princess For Christmas, oog Roger Moore is NOT aging well.

- A Holiday Engagement

- Jingle All The Way, WARNING: This one was animated. And badly. I was expecting something so stupid.

- A Christmas Wedding Tail, Hmmm...a lot of movies this year focus on dogs.

- Lucky Christmas

- Flirting With Forty, Seriously. So good, guys. Heather Locklear at her finest cougar lady.

- Thomas Kinkade's Christmas Cottage, Hmm...Jared Padalecki is so damn hot.

I know this long list might seem crazy to most; I've wasted HOURS this week on this crap. But it makes me feel good. I still have at least 7 more movies on my Tivo. And that's not counting the dozen or more that are slated to record between now and the end of the year.

Happy Holidays!

Prequel to the Oscars!

2011-12-15T11:49:00.000-08:00

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year…”

When most people hear the dulcet tones of Andy Williams’ voice singing this holiday classic, visions of Christmas trees and sparkly lights come to mind. These days I almost always connect the song with the beginning of the movie awards season.
The Film Critics have announced their favorites, and SAG made their nominations last week, and now it’s the Hollywood Foreign Press’ turn.

The 2011 Golden Globe nominations were announced this morning. And with this list, I can begin finalizing and planning my strategy for the upcoming Oscar Death Race, where I will again attempt to see every single film nominated for an Academy Award. Even though the Oscar noms won't be released for another month or so, the Golden Globes usually give me an idea of what to expect for some of the major categories.

The good thing is that I've already seen many of the nominated films. But I am a little worried about the Foreign Film category for the Globes. Except for one Spanish film, I haven't seen any of the nominated films. Eeek. I usually lock this category up during the summer at the Seattle International Film Festival where I get to see numerous foreign films and documentaries that wouldn't normally be available in even the trendiest of hipster art-houses here in Seattle. Hopefully Oscar will take a different route with their Foreign noms.

George Clooney was a big winner on many a list.Looks like I'll defninitely have to see The Descendants, The Artist, and The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, all of which I already had on my to-do list. I'm still unsure about the Michael Fassbender duo or A Dangerous Method and Shame. Although since the latter features full-frontal nudity from Fassy, I can guarantee I'll be seeing that one anyway.

Let the movie cramming begin!!!

HOW CAN I CHOOSE? Battle of the early 80s Cross-dressing Divas Edition

2011-12-12T12:43:00.000-08:00

I have a VERY serious decision to make. Tonight, two of my all-time favorite films are each playing on the big screen. I cannot attend both screenings because I have yet to figure out the meta-physics of being able to be in two places at once.
The movies in question are 1983's Yentl, starring Barbra Streisand, and Victor/Victoria from 1982 starring Julie Andrews. I can't express how difficult a choice this is for me. Please help!

Here are the details:

In the Blue corner -

Yentl at the Central Cinema

Start time = 7pm

Pro - Central is a drink and dine venue so I can enjoy a nice glass of cab sav and a green salad while singing along with Babs and staring lustily at Mandy Patinkin and his jew-fro and awesome facial hair.
Another thing in this venue's favor is that it's only about a mile away from my house, so it's very convenient to get home if I've had too many glasses of wine.
Another pro - they sell these pigs in a blanket (turkey or tofu pups also available) that are awesome. They also make incredible fresh popcorn with real butter.
A potential con - unlike a lot of the Central Cinema screenings, I don't believe this one is a "sing-a-long"; so I may be ridiculed for belting out "The Way He Makes Me Feel" along with Barbra.

The music in Yentl is some of my favorite stuff to listen to, and especially sing along with. 13 yr old me could be found with her cassette tape of the soundtrack always in her Walkman. Yes, I was that dork. And for realz y'all, I had a HUGE crush on Mandy Patinkin. I had seen him on Broadway in Evita! a few years before and this movie, plus another Broadway experience (Sunday In The Park With George) pretty much cemented my love.

In the Red corner -

Victor/Victoria at the SIFF-Uptown

Start time = 8:45 PM

Pro - This SIFF venue is next door to my friends John and Dan's house. So while the theater doesn't serve alcohol or non-traditional movie snacks, I can always eat and drink to my heart's content at their place and then stumble to the theater.
I don't think I'll be any more welcome to sing out loud along with the movie here than I would be at Central Cinema.

This movie is a definitive period of childhood for me because it reminds me so much of my mother and grandmother. The three of us saw it in the theater together at the Uptown in Washington, D.C. back when they would sell soundtrack LPs and cassettes right in the lobby after the movie. I remember my mother buying the record and then a few weeks later my grandmother bought the sheet music to the songs and the three of us would spend many a weekend singing and performing the music from the movie. Years later, when they turned it into a Broadway show, a few years after my grandmother had passed away, my mom and I went to NYC to see it and we cried in the audience the whole time thinking about how much my grandmother would have enjoyed seeing Julie Andrews live.

Similarities between the two films:

They both involve women pretending to be men in order to pursue/fulfill their dreams.
I know every song from each movie by heart and can sing them on command, any time, any place, if asked. (and I'm in the mood)
It's a battle royale between two of my favorite divas. Barbra vs. Julie!!! Mary Poppins vs. Fanny Brice! Maria Von Trapp vs. Esther Hoffman!

So? What should I do? WHO WILL WIN?!

I failed...AGAIN

2011-12-02T12:02:00.000-08:00

For the second year in a row I managed NOT to compose a 50,000 word book during the month of November. As usual, I appreciated and valued the challenge and the movitation that I had to even get as far as I did. It really did get my creative juices flowing. But unfortunately, I wasn't able to sustain any momentum and what with work, family stress, and preparing for 2 Christmas concerts, I ran out of steam and out of time.
Unlike my unfinished project from last year, that I quickly abandoned, I will be attempting to complete this year's novel as a gift to my friend Robert for Christmas. So yay, I have 3 more weeks!
One of these years NaNoWriMo, I will conquer you!!!

Things I'm Thankful For - 2011 edition

2011-11-23T11:07:00.000-08:00

The holiday season is officially upon us, and as we sit down to enjoy a delicious Thanksgiving meal with friends and family, I am going to take some time out to share what I'm thankful for this year.

My health/my life. I went through some scary times earlier this year. There were several months when all of my doctors thought I had some form of cancer and wouldn't live to see my 45th birthday. And even after the true nature of my condition was confirmed and surgery was planned, there was still a big possibility that I wouldn't make it. But I did. And I've healed very well. And I have a different outlook on things. And for that I'm grateful.
My friends. YOU are the family that I've chosen, and I really couldn't have done a better job. 2011 has been the year that I truly found out how special the people that I've surrounded myself with are, and how important they are to me. My friends are the best.
NaNoWriMo. Sure, I'm woefully behind and probably won't meet the 50K word deadline on November 30, but each time that I've attempted (and failed) to complete a novel within 30 days it has inspired me creatively, and that's a great feeling.
Nolan Ross. Thank you Gabriel Mann for reminding me how much I love you, and for bringing this character to life in the most wonderful ways. And for being an undercover hard body; your abs were the best thing on my TV this fall! Thank you ABC for not only not cancelling Revenge, but for also giving it a full season order.

A few things that I'm obessed with this week...

2011-11-18T13:27:00.000-08:00

Police have reopened the investigation of the mysterious death of actress Natalie Wood. I was OBSESSED with this case as a pre-teen kid. First of all, I thought that Natalie Wood was so beautiful. She was my first girl-crush. I was into a lot of true crime stuff at the time, and this also had the added attraction of involving 3 actors that I knew and liked. And I don't know, somehow it was oddly romantic?
Natalie Wood's body was found floating in a cove off the coast of Catalina Island, Thanksgiving weekend 1981. Her death was ruled as an accidental drowning but suspicion has always been thrown on her husband Robert Wagner, who along with actor Christopher Walken were with Wood on her and Wagner's yacht in Catalina.
The three had been drinking when an argument erupted; supposedly over the reveal that Wood and Walken had been carrying on a secret affair. According to both Wagner and Walken, Natalie had stomped away angrily and that was last they saw of her until her body was recovered. They did find that one of their small inflatable boats was missing and it was assumed that Wood took this and subsequently drowned.
However, suspicion was thrown on Wagner when the captain of the boat said that he'd seen Wagner and Wood arguing shortly after she had stormed off the top deck where the initial argument had occurred. But police had never been able to prove anything against Wagner, and generally it has always been believed that he had nothing to do with her death; beyond being involved in the verbal fight that was the catalyst for her to leave the boat.

So why have the police decided to reopen this case after 30 years? Well, that old captain has come forward this week and said that he lied to police about seeing Wagner and Wood argue on the lower deck. Why did he do it? Who knows, but since that couldn't possibly be enough to reopen a cold case like this, I have to wonder what other new evidence the police have that they can't reveal yet.

But I sure am waiting with baited breath to see what happens next.

Wasn't Natalie Wood just gorgeous?

Another thing that I've been bummed about is the split between Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. I've had a weird love of this couple ever since they got together in 2005. I found their relationship to be charming. I genuinely like Ashton Kutcher as an actor and a person, and it's annoying to think that all of those rumors about him fooling around are actually true. Especially with the women that he supposedly had the affairs with - those 2 ladies are fugly and stupid looking! So disappointed.

Finally, it was Regis' last day today on Live! with Regis and Kelly. I actually kind of hate Regis Philbin, but I loved his dynamic with Kelly Ripa (who can do no wrong in my book) and have always enjoyed Live!, even in the Kathie Lee Gifford days.
I'll definitely be recording the shows all next week as they start their official process for selecting his replacement. My #1 vote? Mark Consuelos!!! Kelly Ripa's hubby is awesome and has done a great job filling in for Regis over the past decade. He and Kelly are the greatest. But maybe their marriage would suffer working together every day? If that's the case, then don't do it Mark! I can't deal with another beloved celebrity couple splitting up.

Congrats Bradley!

2011-11-17T13:25:00.000-08:00

People Magazine put out their annual Sexiest Man Alive issue this week. And this year good ol' Bradley Cooper took the title.

Don't get me wrong, I like Bradley Cooper a lot and I think he's very handsome. But I kind of don't get why he's getting these accolades this year. I feel like he was getting way more hot press for his films etc. in 2010 than in recent months. Is it because he's currently dating (allegedly) Jennifer Lopez? Hmm...okay, I can see why he would deserve praise and recognition for that. She's amazingly hot!

I just want to say that I met Bradley Cooper and "hung out" with him at a party once back in 1999 right around his Alias days. He was cute and funny but seriously one of the biggest goofs that I've ever met in my life. I'm sure he's done some maturing in the 12 years since then, but that evening left a permanent impression on my view of him. Another great thing is to watch his Inside The Actors Studio episode. He was the first (and I think only?) actual graduate of "The New School" to ever appear on the show and James Lipton gets even more insane with him than he usually does with his guests. Cooper cries more than once during the show. It is a gem to behold.

BTdubs my favorite photo will forever be this one posted below taken at the 2009 Golden Globes. Coop's shit-eating, slightly intoxicated grin; Ryan Reynolds giving you his best Cary Grant stare-down; both looking suave as hell in their tuxedos. It's a slash-fiction writer's dream. Good times!

What the hell you guys?!!

2011-11-15T13:23:00.000-08:00

Heather Locklear and Jack Wagner called off their engagement! After only 3 months. Well, to be truthful they've been friends forever and have dated off and on since their divorces from Richie Sambora and Kristina Wagner respectively.
So are they just putting the wedding on hold, or are they really splitsville? I was really pulling for them as a couple. Maybe Heather got angry that Jack wasn't singing "All I Need" to her every morning? That's what I would demand if he were my boyfriend.

Remember the 80s when Jack Wagner looked like this?

He made the mullet WERQ people!

I'm obsessed y'all

2011-11-14T09:10:00.000-08:00

I've already watched the new full trailer for The Hunger Games about 30 times. So far they've got everything right! The tone, the look...EVERYTHING.

And who knew I'd find myself having the hots for Seneca Crane, but there ya' go. Wes Bentley is bringing it!

Writer's block

2011-11-11T13:56:00.000-08:00

My novel is stalled currently. Ugh. Maybe I can kickstart myself by using NPR's helpful hints for coming up with a book title.

Here we go again...

2011-10-31T21:44:00.000-07:00

I'm attempting to write a novel in 30 days. I tried last year and failed, only getting to 35K of the 50,000 word requirement. This year I'm hoping to succeed.

Wish me luck!!

Next year, my birthday is going to be SO awesome!

2011-10-27T12:19:00.000-07:00

Lionsgate just released the promotional posters for the upcoming film adaptation of The Hunger Games. I'm still not sure how I feel about Lenny Kravitz as Cinna, but I'm still super excited about this movie and can hardly wait for next year.

New Fall TV report card..."Sorry Charlie"

2011-10-24T14:47:00.000-07:00

It's time to check in on how the new Fall 2011 television shows have fared in my opinion since their premieres these past several weeks. I was initially excited about quite a few new prospects, some of which have turned out to be huge disappointments.

The Good:
Up All Night - I love this show so much more than I expected I would. All of my fears about the retooling/reshooting they did were for naught. Will Arnett and Christina Applegate are amazing. Maya Rudolph is a national treasure, and this show has even made me see Nick Cannon's appeal. He's hilarious!

Revenge - Omigod, omigod, OMIGOD, I LOVE this crazy Dynasty-style drama. Since having a dvr I rarely watch TV shows on their actual aired nights. This is the one show that I make an exception for. I can't wait to watch this piece of brilliance every Wednesday. And then when it's done I feel bereft at having to wait another week before I get more. Madeleine Stowe for President y'all! And I forgot how hunky I've always thought Gabriel Mann to be. I want a Nolan of my very own!

Suburgatory - This sitcom is so charming. Who knew Jeremy Sisto could handle comedy with such a deft hand? I love the relationship between his character and his daughter. Gilmore-girlsy but better. Ana Gasteyer and Cheryl Hines are also both hilarious.

Homeland - I've never liked Claire Danes. Never. Either personally or for her acting "ability". I've never understood her appeal. Until now? She's kind of great in this thrilling new drama on Showtime.

The (Oh SO) Bad:
The Playboy Club - I've already talked about this show's cancellation. And while I didn't hate it as much as most people, it did have a lot of things that were wrong with it.

Charlie's Angels - Oh gawd. Why was this show so bad?! I love the original Charlie's Angels so much. I can even appreciate the awful and cheesy season 5. But this remake has truly been awful. Even the beautiful and talented Minka Kelly couldn't save this stinker for me. ABC just announced its blessed cancellation. Season Pass DELETED.

Terra Nova - ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzz So awful. Nothing more to say.

The Meh **shrug***:

There are some shows that fall into this category like Ringer, Mad Fashion, and Hart of Dixie that I'm still actively watching on a weekly basis and will continue to do so, but I'm just not jazzed about them. If I miss one or two I'm not going to cry about it.

But most of the shows that I'm lumping in here (Secret Circle, 2 Broke Girls, Prime Suspect, Pan Am, New Girl) are ones that, even though they may be getting good reviews and/or ratings, I'm just not invested in them at all. I've given up. I'm most regretting my ambivalence about New Girl. The 2 episodes I've seen I found really funny, but I just can't be bothered to remember to record it or set up a season pass for it. I watch SO much television already and only have so much dvr space and hours in the day to dedicate to something that isn't grabbing me.

And then there's American Horror Story. WTF is up with this show?! It is so damn wacky and disturbing. And confusing. And weird; but not in a good way. I so wanted to like it (I love most of the cast), and I still like the idea of the show, but its execution has been a failure for me. I'm going to watch the 4th episode this week but I don't know if I can stomach it much longer after that.

On a side note - NBC's Grimm is the only remaining new Fall show that I was interested in that hasn't premiered as of this writing so I can't comment. But it's a good sign that the ads for it still intrigue me. I am a little worried and annoyed that folks are going to confuse it for the OTHER fairytale character drama that premiered this week on ABC called Once Upon A Time. I don't understand the Hollywood phenomenon where similar themed projects are always popping up at the same time and competing against each other. It's really annoying.

2011-10-06T12:54:00.000-07:00

I wasn't a fan of the new comedy Free Agents. But I'm still annoyed that NBC chose to cancel it after only 3 episodes.I think I'm mostly annoyed because they greenlighted Whitney and ordered a second full season of that fucking lame show. Ugh.

Eddie Cibrian - Still the king of the show killers

2011-10-05T16:00:00.000-07:00

NBC announced yesterday that they have cancelled The Playboy Club, making it this season's first cancellation, and marking another notch on Eddie Cibrian's belt as show-killer extraordinaire. I love the man to death, but boy does he have a bad track record. I'm worried that producers are going to stop putting in him things besides Lifetime movies where he can meet young country singers to leave his wife for, because he doesn't have any luck. Sigh...
But despite my Eddie Cibrian love and weird fascination with Playboy history and Hugh Hefner, I had started to hate The Playboy Club after the first 2 episodes, and I was only going to give it another chance with this week's ep before deciding whether or not to delete the season pass from my Tivo. So thanks for making the decision for me NBC!!
I think that the powers that be really just decided to cut their losses after they had to stop filming this week because Cibrian injured his foot while shooting a scene in a Chicago alley. My poor Eddie really has had a bad week.

Anatomy of a music video - Bee Gees Edition Volumes 1 and 2

2011-10-01T23:23:00.000-07:00

The music videos made in the late 1970s for two of the hits by the Bee Gees off of the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack are a study in contrasts.
Let's examine the contrasts between the videos for "How Deep Is Your Love" and "Staying Alive".

We'll start with "Staying Alive" -

I dare you to pull your eyes away from the moose knuckle that Barry Gibb is sporting in those TIGHT white pants of his. You can't do it can you? His junk is mesmerizing.
Umm, where was this filmed? The words on the old train car looks like it says Cork? But would there really have been an area in that part of England that was that run-down and abandoned looking?
Can we just all agree that Barry Gibb had fucking fabulous hair? Feathered, bouncin' and behavin' perfection.
Maurice and Robin on the other hand...no. Those twins definitely got the raw end of that deal.
Actually Maurice had a nice face, and his beard is neat and trimmed here, unlike some people, Barry.
When I was 11 my two friends and I would imitate the moves the Gibbs make when they pop into the open window and door frames during the "ah ha ah ha stayling alive" part.
What is with Barry's silver jacket? And does he really need a gold necklace and a larger chain with a medalion? Or his cuban-heeled ankle boots? He's a tall dude. All this is still not enough to distract me from looking at his crotch.
I think my dad had the same shirt as the one Maurice is wearing.
Seriously, where was this filmed? Were there still war-torn parts of Eastern Europe in the 70s? What is with all of the empty and destroyed houses?

Now comparatively the video for "How Deep Is Your Love" is on a whole other level. And it's not necessarily a better one.

The budget was considerably lower for this one obviously. They're on some studio soundstage with random lights set up and the camera is following the Gibb brothers as they alternately walk around in a circle, or stand in a circle as the camera pans around them.
Seriously, more than half of the video is them WALKING AROUND IN A CIRCLE. They could've filmed this in my garage.
And who are those random handful of faceless people standing around in the center of the circle? Party guests? Electricians and best boys that work at the studio who didn't realize they were in the shot?
Robin Gibb really is unfortunate looking, isn't he.
Barry on the other hand is looking his most fantastic. His hair was never more lustrous and his beard is neat this time around. Also, while I'm sure he's wearing the tightest possible trousers, the camera never pans down past his mid chest until the end of the video, and then it's only his butt that we see so we're not nearly as distracted.
BTdubs, check out the top of the comment thread from the link above for a gem from some dude named serq199113. I admire his sentiment.

WHY DIDN'T SOMEBODY TELL ME?!

2011-09-28T14:09:00.000-07:00

There's a "Newsies" musical on Broadway (ok, off-Broadway, but still) !! And it got great reviews! I want to see it so badly, even if Christian Bale isn't in it.

Some thoughts on "Abduction"

2011-09-27T16:51:00.000-07:00

Or should I say ABduction, because Taylor Lautner's chest was out of control in this movie. I know it's cliche and totally pervy for someone my age, old enough to be his mother, to have inappropriate lustful thoughts about Taylor Lautner, but damn he truly is a beautiful specimen of man.

I saw this film on Sunday with a 15 year old teenage girl who appropriately gushed all over Lautner and the movie. She loved it, and if that's the producers' target audience I think they should do well.
And while I was entertained for the 90 minutes, I did have SERIOUS issues with the ridiculous timeline it followed, and I had a hard time ignoring the inconsistencies.So allow me to rant a little.

The folks in this movie live in nice suburban Pennsylvania outside of Pittsburgh. I was actually really excited to see a movie set in this part of the country; I've got family in that area and it really is a great place to live and it was nice to see Pittsburgh get exposure, instead of NYC or even Philadelphia.
Without getting too spoilerish, here's the sequence of events that set off our story of two teens on the run from the CIA and Russian terrorists:

Sometime around 6 or 7 in the evening (assumed because it's after school and around dinner time but only sort of dark out) Lautner and Lily Collins' characters fight Russians and watch Lautner's house blow up. They take off on a motorcycle to a hospital to have a cut on Lily's arm patched up.
Shenanigans ensue at the hospital, but they were there long enough to get her arm fixed, for him to call 911 and get freaked out by the CIA and then Sigourney Weaver hustles our teens out in her BMW (which by the way was a HUGE sponsor of this movie). I'll be generous and say that this whole post-house explosion hospital stuff only took an hour but either way, when Sigourney drives off with our teens, it's at least 8pm. As she drives them towards the edge of town Weaver instructs them to get their asses to a secret apartment in Arlington, VA and lay low.
Sigourney's car is followed and attacked but the kids jump out in time and start running through the woods. They camp and sleep at the base of a tree. They wake the next morning. Even if we're supposed to believe it's early, at least 9 hours has passed.
The kids then hitch a ride in a 18-wheeler to Arlington; which is a suburb of Washington, D.C., and even if that truck was hauling ass, there's no way that they're making that drive in under 4 hours. So we're now talking a minimum of them being on the run for 13 hours.A minimum.
Once in VA they take time to shop for new clothes, shower and change in the apartment and Lautner finds clues about his parents. Again, there's no way they could have done all of this in less than 2 hours, but I'll suspend my disbelief and give them only an hour. But we're definitely talking about the middle of day 2 at this point.
The kids find a clue and have to go to a cemetery. Here's where my young companion and I disagreed; I said that the film infers that they drove (in a BMW natch) back to Pittsburgh to go to this cemetery; the teen thinks that the grave was somewhere in Arlington. Either way, afterwards they figure out they have to ditch the car and get to Nebraska, so they arrange a meeting with their high school friend back in Pittsburgh, who gives them fake IDs so that they can continue their journey. Now, either way these kids drove back to damn Pittsburgh from Virginia. Even if Taylor drove 90 mph in the BMW the whole way, it's still taking them a couple of hours at least.
The kids then get on an Amtrak train that's magically leaving right away from Pittsburgh to Omaha. Uh huh. One of the Russian bad dudes gets on the train too, and they only manage to make it to Cincinnati before the Russian tries to kill them and instead gets thrown off the train by Taylor, which alerts the CIA and they stop the train and capture Taylor and Lily. Here's one of the main ways the makers of this movie messed up. The train scenes are made to look like they've only been on the train a short time. It would've made more sense for them to have made it to Cleveland, which is near Pittsburgh, rather than Cincinnati which is clear across Ohio in the SW corner, hours away by train.

Once the CIA captures our teen heroes, head agent Alfred Molina utters the line that sent me in a tizzy in the first place - "You guys have been on the run for 22 hours". WHAT?!! Seriously? No fucking way all of this running around and traveling on trains and in automobiles has only taken 22 damn hours! WTF?!
Gah! and don't get me started about the fact that Taylor and Lily then steal a truck and drive BACK TO PITTSBURGH (It would've taken a good 5 hours to drive this!), meet up again with their friend who gets them (last minute VIP) tickets to a Pirates game, where they pull off the climax battle with the head Russian dude, all before dusk. I was seething in my chair.
Of course my teen niece thought I was being ridiculous and told me to "take a chill pill" (um, do they still say this outside of 1987?) but I can't let it go.

Whatever, did I mention that Taylor Lautner and Lily Collins are very pretty?

Shut Up Tuesday!!!

2011-09-27T10:03:00.000-07:00

Harummphhh!

2011-09-16T13:00:00.000-07:00

This is the look I've been giving everyone today:

Just so you're forewarned.

Fall TV 2011 - Returning "Favorites"

2011-09-13T15:42:00.000-07:00

Just in time for premieres starting this week, let's talk about returning TV shows now -

Parenthood
Returns: September 13 at 10 PM on NBC
Why I’m still watching: I love the Bravermans! They are probably my favorite TV family. And Jason Ritter is back where he belongs after leaving to be on the failed dumb show The Event.

America's Next Top Model
Returns: September 14 at 9 PM on The CW
Why I’m still watching: It's All-Stars time! Transgendered Isis, drunk Lisa, Angelea "From The Block", sweet Laura and other bitches are back for more fighting and runway stomping. I still hate Tyra Banks with every fiber of my being, but damn if she can't produce an addictive show.

The Sing-Off
Returns: September 19 at 8 PM on NBC
Why I’m still watching: Nicole Scherzinger left for The X Factor and singer Sara Barielles has joined the judges panel instead, which should be a good thing because this show already has the good fortune of having the best reality competition judging on television. They're getting a major upgrade from short end-of-the-year filler to a full-on series but I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not - we'll see. Still, an acapella show choir competition? YES!!!!

How I Met Your Mother
Returns: September 19 at 8 PM on CBS
Why I’m still watching: Marshall and Lily's baby will arrive sometime during the season which may or may not ruin things; we presumably find out more about Barney's wedding; maybe we'll finally get an answer to who the fucking mother is?!! Not likely and even though I increasingly HATE Ted, I do still love Marshall and Lily and would happily watch a show that was just about them.

Hawaii Five-0
Returns: September 19 at 10 PM on CBS
Why I’m still watching: Terry O'Quinn is joining the cast! And from the commercials, it's obvious that McGarrett will get off the hook for the governor's murder. This show is like the television equivalent of rice krispy treats. Utterly uncomplicated and nicely tasty.

Glee
Returns: September 20 at 8 PM on Fox
Why I’m still watching: I'm one of the few folks out there seemingly (especially above the age of 30) that still finds this show delightful. Sure it has its hits and misses but generally it's one of the most enjoyable parts of my tv watching week. I seriously don't understand some of the criticism it takes. Anyway, I was really sad and a little annoyed to hear that Chord Overstreet wasn't coming back; not because I was particularly enamored with Trouty Mouth, but because his leaving means that we won't get a continued love story between him and Mercedes, which would have been a brave subject for this show to tackle. But I am excited to see how the writers deal with Kurt, Finn and Rachel's senior year. And since I didn't watch The Glee Project I'm interested to see how those kids are written in as well.

Raising Hope
Returns: September 20 at 9:30 PM on Fox
Why I’m still watching: Probably my favorite new show from last year. LOVE Martha Plimpton and Garrett Dillahunt as the funniest grandparents on tv.

Modern Family
Returns: September 21 at 9 PM on ABC
Why I’m still watching: If the Parenthood peeps are my favorite family on a TV drama, the Pritchett-Dunphy clan are my faves in the Comedy category. Love.

Happy Endings
Returns: September 21 at 9:30 PM on ABC
Why I’m still watching: It felt like I was one of the few people out there who caught this mid-season replacement show this past spring. I didn't want to like it but kind of ended up loving it by the end of its run. I thought for sure that ABC would've canceled it, but instead they brought it back for a new full season. ABC is weird you guys.

Law & Order: SVU
Returns: September 21 at 10 PM on NBC
Why I’m still watching: Christopher Meloni has left :-(, Mariska Hargitay is supposedly cutting back her amount of eps, and they've added a few new detectives that aren't Munch and Ice-T. Not to mention the fact that I'm still smarting over the loss of L&O:LA and Corey Stoll's beautiful moustache. So why am I still looking forward to this show? BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY ONE LEFT DAMMIT!!! I can't live on L&O reruns alone. Sigh...

Parks & Recreation
Returns: September 22 at 8:30 PM on NBC
Why I’m still watching: The more important question is - Why aren't YOU watching this phenomenal show?! The amount of friends that I have that refuse to watch the funniest show on television really upsets me. Yes, it was weak when it first started (3 fucking years ago); it's improved to surpass any other comedy on tv in terms of laughs, timing, acting, and writing. Get with the fucking program people.
This season we will meet Tammy 1 and Ron Swanson's mother. God help us.

Grey's Anatomy
Returns: September 15 at 9 PM on ABC (Note: a lot of web sites list the premiere date as 9/22 but I trust my Tivo)
Why I’m still watching: Because. I'm invested in these dumb gits at this point. And because I still think Justin Chambers and Eric Dane and their respective characters, Dr. Alex Karev and Dr. Mark Sloan, are effin' hot. And because I still find it amusing as a Seattle resident to see the outside location shots and where they supposedly have scenes taking place - Bainbridge Island is NOT West Seattle. And because it's one of the only things left that my dad and I can have conversations about without me wanting to murder him.

CSI: New York/CSI: Original Recipe aka Las Vegas
Returns: September 22 and 23 at 9 PM on CBS
Why I’m still watching: For the past several years NY has been the only part of the franchise that I've consistently watched so I feel sort of loyal. NY is coming back for an abbreviated season, and the premiere is supposedly going to tackle/pay tribute to 9/11 which might be maudlin and annoying or could be great. Las Vegas has Ted Danson taking over the lead reins from Laurence Fishburne which might be really cool so I'm going to at least watch the first couple of eps, at least until Jorja Fox annoys me too much (which might be within the initial 10 minutes).

Gossip Girl
Returns: September 26 at 8 PM on The CW
Why I’m still watching: I love these stupid, privileged wankers. Especially now that Jenny Humphreys and Vanessa Abrams are out of the damn picture.

Hung
Returns: October 2 at 10 PM on HBO
Why I’m still watching: The continuing struggles of part-time prostitute Ray are always fun to watch. Plus supposedly this season we're getting the full frontal male nudity that we've all(?) been clamoring for.

Dexter
Returns: October 2 at 9 PM on Showtime
Why I’m still watching: I'm not going to lie, last season (5) was kind of a let down for me. It was good, but coming after the incredible 4th season it just didn't hold up. But for season 6 they've moved the show a little into the future, about a year, and I think that will shake things up in a nice way. Edward James Olmos, Mos Def and Colin Hanks will be guest starring this time around. Can't wait.

Fall TV Schedule 2011 - NEW SHOWS

2011-09-09T13:50:00.000-07:00

The brand new TV season is upon us and even though we no longer have to wade through the summer months without new programming, Fall Television is still just as exciting for this TV enthusiast as it was when I was a teenager.

In sort of chronological, premier date order, here are some of the new shows starting in the next several weeks that are on my radar:
Ringer
Premieres: September 13 at 9 PM on The CW
Who’s in it?: Sarah Michelle Geller, Kristoffer Polaha, Ioan Gruffudd, Nestor Carbonell
What’s the story? Sarah Michelle Gellar is back on my TV and it is about damn time! She's playing twin sisters, one a recovering addict stripper, and one a rich bitch with a secret. The rich one seemingly dies and the drug addict takes over her life because she’s hiding from the mob or something. Anyway, this reminds me a lot of this cheesy romance novel from the 80s that I LOVED by Judith Krantz. Plus I love Gellar and am intrigued to see her pull off “stripper”.

Up All Night
Premieres: September 14 at 10 PM on NBC
Who’s in it? Christina Applegate, Will Arnett, Maya Rudolph
What’s the story? Christina Applegate and Will Arnett play new parents coping with all of the typical baby shit (literally and figuratively). Maya Rudolph is Applegate's boss who doesn't understand why her employee can't be the party girl she was before having a kid. I fiercely love all 3 of the leads but I am so worried about the success of this show. It’s already been retooled and reshot TWICE. Eek. But I can’t understand how something featuring some of the funniest people on Earth can’t be fucking hilarious. It’s got to be good, right? But then the commercials are horrendous. Sigh…I don’t know what to think. I had the same worries about Parks & Recreation and that turned out alright. But on the other hand, I was right to trust my instincts on how bad Running Wilde was last season. Ok, now I’m starting to sound like a crazy person so I’ll stop now.

The Secret Circle
Premieres: September 15 at 9 PM on The CW
Who’s in it?: Britt Robertson, Thomas Dekker, Gale Harold, Phoebe Tonkin, Jessica Parker Kennedy, Shelly Hennig, Louis Hunter, Ashley Crow, Natasha Henstridge
What’s the story? Based on a book series by teen lit author L.J. Smith, about witches and a new generation of powerful young teens who seemed cursed or destined to follow in their parents footsteps. I don't know. Of all of the new shows that intrigue me, this is the one that I care about the least. I'll record the premier but I don't know past that.

2 Broke Girls
Premieres: September 19 at 8:30 PM on CBS
Who’s in it?: Beth Behrs, Kat Dennings
What’s the story? The whole rich girl/poor girl trying to deal with each other as co-workers and roommates storyline. I don’t know, it’s gotten good reviews from a bunch of people whose opinion I trust. Plus I like Kat Dennings.

The Playboy Club
Premieres: September 19 at 10 PM on NBC
Who’s in it?: Eddie Cibrian, Amber Heard, Laura Benanti, David Krumholtz, Naturi Naughton, Leah Renee, Jenna Dewan, Wes Ramsey
What’s the story? The show takes place in the mid-late 60s during the Club’s heyday. I believe this show focuses on the L.A. club with Cibrian playing the lead as the club manager. From the commercials there looks to be a lot of shady mob-like dealings etc. happening and bunnies being evil. I love Eddie Cibrian to a fault as I’ve mentioned several times before. So I’m on board automatically with any new project he has on tv. I just don’t know if The Playboy Club will be able to survive Eddie’s “show killer” mojo.

New Girl
Premieres: September 20 at 9 PM on Fox
Who’s in it?: Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, Damon Wayans Jr(?), Hannah Simone
What’s the story? Deschanel’s character Jess finds her boyfriend cheating on her and ends up being roommates with 3 guys who are going to show her how to get a new man despite being retardedly quirky, or something. I don’t know, I find Zooey charming and likable but the promos for this show make me homicidal. And I still don’t understand the deal with Damon Wayans Jr.; is he on this dumb show or is he still on Happy Endings which ABC renewed for next season? It’s annoying that they feel that they can just replace one “black guy” with another and think that we won’t notice? **eyeroll**

Revenge
Premieres: September 21 at 10 PM on ABC
Who’s in it?: Emily VanCamp, Madeleine Stowe, Gabriel Mann, Henry Czerny, Ashley Madekwe, Nick Wechsler, Josh Bowman, Christa B. Allen, Connor Paolo
What’s the story? Oy Emily VanCamp. I only rarely like her. This time around she’s been cast as a manipulative young woman out to get revenge on the snooty Hamptonites who used her father as a scandal scapegoat and maybe caused his death? and ruined her life. The previews seem crazy! In a really wonderful way. And I love Madeleine Stowe so I’ll definitely set a season pass for this one and see how it goes.

Charlie's Angels
Premieres: September 22 at 8 PM on ABC
Who’s in it?: Annie Ilonzeh, Minka Kelly, Rachael Taylor, Ramon Rodriguez
What’s the story? If you have to ask this question then you are not my friend and need to stop reading this blog. It’s Charlie’s FUCKING Angels! Once upon a time there were 3 beautiful girls who went to the police academy, and they were all assigned very “hazardous” duties. But mysterious, super wealthy philanthropist Charlie Townsend “took them away from all of that” and now they work for him as private investigators – he gives them orders, Bosley keeps them in check, they kick ass and take names and have lovely hair. The end. I’m beyond excited about this reboot of one of my all-time favorite television shows. I love Minka Kelly, who is obviously playing the Kelly Garrett role, and the idea of having the first Black Angel in the “Sabrina” role is very exciting. If I’d had that on my tv screen in 1978 who knows what I could’ve become. The third angel is being played by that annoying blond that played Dr. Lucy Fields on Gray’s Anatomy who I hated, but I’m hoping she grows on me with this role. Either way – it’s Charlie’s Angels! It doesn’t matter who’s in it – I’m watching it.

Person of Interest
Premieres: September 22 at 9 PM on CBS
Who’s in it?: Jim Caviezel, Micahel Emerson, Taraji P. Henson
What’s the story? Umm, I’ve read the plot description of this show several times and I still don’t think I fully understand it. Ben from Lost is a guy who gets Social Security numbers of people who may end up committing or being the victims of crime? And my boyfriend Jim Caviezel is anti-government dude who helps him out? But only reluctantly? And is on the run from the government for something else? I don’t know. Did I mention how in love I am with Jim Caviezel and his weird voice and dreamy eyeballs?

Prime Suspect
Premieres: September 22 at 10 PM on NBC
Who’s in it?: Maria Bello, Kirk Acevedo, Aidan Quinn, Joe Nieves, Brian O'Byrne, Dmaon Gupton, Tim Griffin, Peter Gerety
What’s the story? Peter Berg (who can do no wrong in my book) is behind this US remake of the legendary BBC series that starred Helen Mirren. Bello steps into the tough female cop lead role, dealing with misogynistic colleagues who think she slept her way to the top and bosses who don't respect her. I was a huge fan of the original show, and I have high hopes for this one.

A Gifted Man
Premieres: September 23 at 8 PM on CBS
Who’s in it?: Patrick Wilson, Jennifer Ehle, Margo Martindale, Pablo Schreiber
What’s the story? I’ll be tuning into this show for the first couple of eps because of the cast. I LOVE Patrick Wilson and want to have a million of his babies and hope that he finds a way to sing in at least one episode. I also love Margo Martindale. But the plot of this drama seems DUMB. Wilson plays a brain surgeon who was an asshole but then starts helping out the less fortunate when he starts seeing visions of his dead ex-wife? Iiiiiiiii don’t know about this one.

Pan Am
Premieres: September 25 at 10 PM on ABC
Who’s in it?: Christina Ricci, Kelli Garner, Karine Vanasse, Margot Robbie, Mike Vogel, Michael Mosley
What’s the story? High off the success of Mad Men, shows like The Playboy Club and this series about Pan Am stewardesses are trying to capitalize on the new popularity of “The 1960s”. Confession – I love the stylized look of the old-fashioned flight attendants. It’s all so “Catch Me If You Can”. But this show also kind of looks dumb.

Terra Nova
Premieres: September 26, at 8 PM on Fox
Who’s in it?: Jason O'Mara, Shelley Conn, Landon Liboiron, Allison Miller, Naomi Scott, Alana Mansour
What’s the story? Fox and their relentless promotion of this damn show wore me down. I was staunchly NOT going to watch this show that seemed like an Avatar rip-off, complete with actors in it from that stupid film. But then I saw started paying attention to some of the 14,000 commercials that kept running for it and I became intrigued. And I do like Jason O’Mara and his arms. So anyway, sometime in the future, our planet is dying, so a handful of people get sent back in time to an era with dinosaurs. But I don’t know how this is supposed to save present-day Earth? Whatever, I’ll give it 2 episodes to get me.

Hart of Dixie
Premieres: September 26 at 9 PM on The CW
Who’s in it?: Rachel Bilson, Jamie King, Wilson Bethel, Cress Williams, McKaley Miller, Scott Porter
What’s the story? Remember that stupid movie with Michael J. Fox called “Doc Hollywood”? Well in this tv version Bilson’s character is named Zoe Hart is a cardio-thoracic surgeon (yes, Dr. Hart is a heart doctor) who loses out on a dream internship and has to move down south (Dixie, get it?) to take a job as a general practitioner and deal with Southerners who can't relate to her big city ways. Um, I don’t know why I’m interested in this show at all except that I like Rachel Bilson and want to see her succeed in something other than commercial for ice cream bars.

Suburgatory
Premieres: September 28 at 8:30 PM on ABC
Who’s in it?: Jeremy Sisto, Jane Levy, Carly Chaikin, Allie Grant, Alan Tudyk, Cheryl Hines, Rex Lee
What’s the story? Jeremy Sisto stars as an over-protective single father who freaks out that his only daughter might be having sex, so he moves them out of the dangerous New York City and into the suburbs where he's hot property and she's immediately picked on by mean girls. I love the hell out of Jeremy Sisto and am intrigued by the idea of him in a comedy.

Homeland
Premieres: October 2 at 10 PM on Showtime
Who’s in it?: Claire Danes, Mandy Patinkin, Damian Lewis, Morena Baccarin
What’s the story? A thriller involving an American POW who had been held captive for most of a decade in I think what’s supposed to be Afghanistan or Iraq and has now returned home. Danes plays a CIA officer who suspects that he's working for the other side. I used to loathe Claire Danes, but I’m slowly admiring her acting in the last few projects she’s done. And I love Mandy and Damian so I’m on bored for the whole season of this show. A perfect follow-up after Dexter.

Mad Fashion
Premieres: October 4 at 10 PM on Bravo
Who’s in it?: Chris March
What’s the story? Chris March of Project Runway fame has his own show that features the CA RAYYYZEEE designs he does for the rich and famous. He's expanding beyond Sonja Morgan which is awesome in my book. And seriously I just love this teddy bear and am interested to seeing how he is as a boss.

American Horror Story
Premieres: October 5 on FX
Who’s in it?: Connie Britton, Dylan McDermott, Shelby Young, Frances Conroy Alexandra Breckenridge, Denis O'Hare, Jessica Lange
What’s the story? From Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuck (Nip/Tuck and Glee) a show about a family that moves into a haunted house. The plot sounds so stupid but I’ve never not liked a show from these two guys, and the commercials are great. AND look at the cast

2011-09-09T13:41:00.000-07:00

I like to imagine that these two Serbian princes weren't just congratulating each other after a tough quaterfinal tennis match yesterday.

I like to imagine that they're planning a holiday together; somewhere magical that has nice warm, sandy beaches. A quiet place that they can relax and share some sweet alone time together.

SHUT UP! This is my fantasy world! You go and create your own fantasy if this one isn't working for you.

Sometimes it just takes a little picture to make me feel better...

2011-08-30T15:45:00.000-07:00

Sigh...Andy Gibb really was so dreamy.
"Lay your head upon my shoulder. Put your worries in my pocket. Lay your love on me awhile."

"She was the best dancer at St. Bernadette's...with the worst reputation."

2011-08-04T16:15:00.000-07:00

Annette Charles passed away from complications due to cancer at the age of 63 on August 3, 2011. She played the fucking amazing Cha Cha DiGregorio in the film Grease, and planted herself firmly in my heart as the bitch I loved to hate. Charles also played a bunch of hottie boombalatti characters in a bunch of 70s television shows ranging from Emergency! to Barnaby Jones. And she had memorable roles in a couple of my favorite episodes of Bionic Woman and Banacek.

Truth - I used to get Annette Charles mixed up with Roz Kelly, another popular character actress from 70s television who was always getting typecast as a lady with a lot of T&A. Roz of course played Pinky Tuscadero on Happy Days, among other things. It was only a couple of years ago that I realized my error.

"A lock of hair...from her chest!"

(Screenshots courtesy of clothesonfilm.com)

Annette Charles will be sorely missed. I think I'm going to do a little handjive in her and Cha Cha's honor.

So You Think You Can Dance Season 8 - Top 6 performances

2011-08-04T00:10:00.000-07:00

Christina Applegate and Lil' C were the guest judges. This week our top 6 dance with each other, with an All-Star and do a solo routine. I'm just going to comment on the two pair routines because the solos are just whatever.

Melanie:
Hip-Hop with Twitch - This was probably the hardest or "krunkest" routine I've ever seen from NappyTabs, and it was funny seeing Melanie get it. But she did kind of great. Can I just say I love Lil' C as a judge? So good.

Sasha:
Contemporary with Kent - Hmm...Tyce Diorio choreographed a very emotional routine. I don't know if I really "got it". But boy did Sasha make an impression. Both Christina Applegate and Lil' C cried as they gave their glowing reviews of this girl who has steadily become my favorite dancer this season. By the way, Sasha's dad is Al Roker.

Marko:
Paso Doble with Janette(!) - First, yay! I'm so glad Nigel & co. have decided to bring back a bunch of different All-Stars. It's so nice being able to see these people dance again. Plus my boyfriend Dmitry Chaplin (another SYTYCD vet from season 2) was the choreographer. There was this one amazing move in the Paso where Marko swings Janette around his head as if she were the cape. It. Was. AWESOME.

Tadd:
Lyrical(?) with Ellenore (!!!!) - My sweet amazing Ellenore is back dancing on my tv and I couldn't be happier. Ok, she's dancing with Tadd in a cool Sonya Tayeh routine, so yes I can get happier. Although I agreed with Nigel that I wish that there'd been more dancing in the routine; it felt like we were watching the first few minutes of something tremendous. I still think Tadd is phenomenal for a b-boy.

Ricky:
Contemporary with Jaime - I really like Dee Caspery's choreography. He is still someone that does not look like a dancer. At all. He looks like a plumber, but he sure knows how to create beautiful art. Ricky has such good flow and movement when he dances. I completely agreed with Christina Applegate's criticism; I wish he had more emotional impact for me.

Caitlynn:
Samba with Pasha - The samba might be my favorite ballroom discipline. A samba choreographed by my boyfriend Dmitry Chaplin and danced by sexiness personified Pasha Kovalev? Yum. Caitlynn was pretty good too.

Sasha & Ricky "Whacking" (?) - Uh, you know that dance move from the 70s that all the couples on Soul Train would do where they move their arms around the head in fast vogueing-like movements? That was called "whacking". Good to know. At least it was a disco routine from someone other than Doriana Sanchez. Choreographer Kumari Suraj reminded me of my cousin Beverly. Everything that Lil' C said.

Melanie & Tadd Broadway - I wanted and waited for this pairing all damn season. And thank God they got Spencer Liff (off topic - could Spencer be any hotter?) instead of stupid Tyce. Such a great routine!

Caitlynn & Marko Jazz - Sonya Tayeh is just brilliant. Marko and Caitlynn were both superb. May be the best of the night.

Good grammar. It's what's for breakfast!

2011-08-02T15:49:00.000-07:00

I've found a kindred spirit in Allie Brosh and her blog Hyperbole and a Half. Go read it. NOW! Start with this awesome post from April 2010 where she complains brilliantly about the common (and aggravating) grammar mistakes people use while commenting/blogging/farting around on the Internet etc. It's like she shares a brain with me; for reals.

The posts about her two dogs are also really f*cking hilarious. Ms. Brosh is also cute as a button (see photo in FAQ), which is just ridiculously unfair.

SYTYCD season 8 Top 8 Performances

2011-07-27T23:40:00.000-07:00

Some quick thoughts about the routines performed from the top 8. Even though they separated the girls and boys up for the first part of the show, the 8 danced together for the last half so I've lumped my comments together for the two partners.

Sasha:
Quickstep w/ Pasha - I usually love Johnathan Roberts' ballroom choreo (and it's great to see him on here instead of DwTS) but I did not like this routine. You know something's wrong when even Pasha isn't doing it for me.

Melanie:
Contemporay w/Neil - It's Mandy Moore so OF COURSE she's set the dance to an 80s pop song, this time revisiting Total Eclipse Of The Heart. But you know what? I loved this routine! I really want Melanie to be in the final 2; she's amazing. Shirtless Neil wasn't bad either. Yum. Melanie's grandma's reaction to Gaga saying she was her favorite dancer was priceless.

Sasha/Melanie - Jazz from Sonya Tayeh
I mean, come on. Could you ask for a more perfect partnership. I LOVED this routine. My top 2 in this competition hands down. Can I get an all female finale?

Caitlynn:
Hip Hop w/ Ivan - I'm liking all of the new hip-hop choreographers this season (no offense to NappyTabs ans Dave Scott), especially this Marty Kudelka guy. I thought Caitlynn was pretty great and Ivan was a revelation! I hated him so much in season 2. I'm so worried after the judges tepid praise for her, that Caitlynn will be going home. So I threw a bunch of online votes her way.

Tadd:
Jazz w/ Lauren F. - LOVE. I couldn't even make fun of Mandy Moore using yet another 80s song. Because it's Queen's "Another One Bites The Dust" and because she choreographed a fun routine that LaFro and Tadd killed (dropped hat and all).

Caitlynn/Tadd - Foxtrot from Johnathan Roberts
Once again I liked the ballroom routine a lot more than the judges. Gosh I really think Caitlynn is going to go home unless folks out there vote like fucking crazy.

Jordan:
Jazz w/ Ade - Ugh. I really can't stand this girl. She's so annoying that I can't even appreciate how truly a great dancer she is. I hate her face. Not even my beloved Ade could make this crap Tyce Diorio routine good. But then the judges fucking SHOCKED me by gushing over Jordan's performance. You guys! I'm afraid that the judges are totally going to ignore the people (again) and keep this irksome girl to torture me another week.

Jess:
Lyrical Hip-Hop w/ (gag) Lauren G - When did I start liking Jess? Sigh. This isn't good; I need one of the guys to hate. And why is he so good at hip-hop (at least lyrical) all of a sudden? I rarely dislike a NappyTabs routine and this was no exception; Gaga totally trashed NappyTabs though (hee hee). I still HATE Lauren Gotleib though. There's nothing anybody can say that will change my mind.

Jordan/Jess - Rumba from Jason Gilkerson
So much damn ballroom tonight, jesus. Hee hee Jess is so short, Jordan had to dance barefoot. At least Jordan got criticism for once.

Ricky:
Jive w/Anya - Wow. Ricky's kind of great at ballroom. What's up with that?! This was a great jive even though Nigel and Mary had criticism for it; done to one of my favorite covers, "River Deep, Mountain High" sung by Celine Dion. I am concerned based on past weeks and the judges that he might go home this week.

Marko:
Contemporary w/ Allison - Damn Sonya Tayeh, your choreography slays me. Marko and Allison were perfection. Gaga crying was a BIT much though.

Ricky/Marko - NappyTabs hip-hop
These two contemporary dancers kind of killed it with swagger. Gaga really hates NappyTabs doesn't she?

Other SYTYCD stuff:
As of this writing I'm leading in my 2 So You Think You Can Dance fantasy leagues and I'm #6 ranked nationally. Let's see if I can pull this off.

And on a sad note, they just released the list of the 2011 SYTYCD tour cities and neither Seattle nor the surrounding area are on it. In fact, the tour isn't coming to the Pacific NW or western Canada at all. I'm so damn disappointed I can't even tell you. I guess I'll be flying to Bakersfield CA? Fuck.

Reality TV Round-up - July 2011 Edition

2011-07-16T00:02:00.000-07:00

As usual my Tivo is clogged with hours upon hours of reality television. Good stuff (yes, there IS good stuff) and bad stuff. Competition stuff like Big Brother, SYTYCD, and The RW/RR Challenge; fun stuff like Ice Loves Coco, Million Dollar Decorators, Roseanne Barr's new show, and candid stuff like Celebrity Rehab, and my fave 1 Girl 5 Gays. I love it all!

Here's some of what I've been watching and dissecting this month -

Roseanne's Nuts: I've never been a big Roseanne fan. I didn't watch her sitcom when it was on, and I've always found the antics surrounding her to be a little exhausting. So why the hell did I decide to record and watch the premiere of her new reality show on Lifetime? I don't know. But I'm glad I did. I love everything about it. Roseanne is now living in Hawaii with her boyfriend John on a 50 acre macadamia nut farm. She has this weird (but hilarious) hippie dude named Greg that camps on her land and that she takes care of in exchange for his calm zen-ness. In the first couple of eps, Roseanne's eldest son comes to visit from L.A. She's constantly running around on her tractor and jeep, chasing pigs or trying to kill dangerous, invasive foliage on her land; all while spouting an endless stream of curse words. She's my new hero.

Big Brother 13: As much as I love Jeff & Jordan and am excited to have them on my screen again, this season of Big Brother is already SO ANNOYING. I may only watch the Thursday live shows and catch up by reading the live feed summaries.

Million Dollar Decorators: How can the season finale for this gem already be next week?! I've tweeted my love for this show for weeks but I can't reiterate enough how much I love Ross Cassidy, project manager and boyfriend of designer Jeffrey Allan Marks (who Ross adorably calls "JAM"!). He's South African and an ex-model, and he's a ruthless task master and he is indespencible. I love his hair and the way he's always putting it up in messy ponytails or flipping it over to the side; I love his clipped accent; I love his laugh. I want Ross to live with me and yell at me to "snap out of it and get things done!" I also love me some Jacqueline, designer and textile artist Kathryn Ireland's old French housekeeper. Forget what I said about Roseanne, JACQUELINE is my hero. I want to be her when I grow up - only wear crisp white shirts and black pants, tie my hair up in fabulous Hermes scarves, have a loose interpretation of "cleaning", only cook appetizers, and drink wine all damn day. Perf. All of the designers on the show are pretty interesting. I can't wait for season 2.

Ice Loves Coco: Who knew that Ice T and Coco (I still don't know if she uses a last name; surely she doesn't go by "Coco T") could be so charming? They're a great couple. And seriously? Ice T looks so much like my friend Jim, I can't stand it. Hilarious.

Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew: Oh lerwd, this show. Sean Young makes me sad y'all. I really feel for her. Bai Ling is CRAZY. Like chemically imbalanced. I think that she needs a higher level of care than Dr. Drew (who is slowly losing boyfriend status the more he's on my tv screen) and his stupid 21 day tv treatment show can provide. I'm surprisingly sympathetic to Michael Lohan, and it's been actually nice to see Steven Adler back in rehab. Oh, and Amy Fisher is a fucking bitch.

The Challenge - Rivals (RW/RR): Kenny! What is wrong with you baby? Where's my cocky, joking, handsome, smart-ass who's quick with the quips and a challenge beast? Did that pasty, UGLY, red-headed freak Wes kill your spirit once he partnered with you? I want the goofy, hot, clever Kenny pictured below to come back onto my tv screen! In other news, shut up Johnny Bananas.

2011 Emmy Nominations - Who got robbed? Where did they get it right?

2011-07-15T14:00:00.000-07:00

Sorry I've been away so long; too busy with work and catching up on the hundred of hours of TV recorded on my Tivo to be able to take time to blog.
I was too busy earlier this week laughing my ass off at the Emmy promo video with Joel McHale and Melissa McCarthy to remember that the nominations were coming out on Thursday, so this commentary is a little late, but I don't care.
Below are the 2011 Emmy nominations with my comments:

BEST DRAMA SERIES
Boardwalk Empire
Dexter
Friday Night Lights
Game of Thrones
The Good Wife
Mad Men

Eh, we're off to a fairly good start. It's nice to see a nom for Game of Thrones. And one could only expect FNL to get one because they're in their final season. The Good Wife and Mad Men also had critically and audience acclaimed seasons. My problems here? As much as I love Dexter, last season wasn't that great (I mean seriously it was hard to top the superlative season 4) and I f'in hate Boardwalk Empire. Justify should have totally taken one of these places in the list!

BEST COMEDY SERIES
Big Bang Theory
Glee
Modern Family
The Office
30 Rock
Parks and Recreation

Woohoo! Parks and Recreation got nominated! I know some are up in arms about Community not getting a nod, but seriously that show isn't as funny as y'all think it is. I'm fine with these nominations full stop. If only Parks & Rec would win.

BEST DRAMA ACTOR
Timothy Olyphant, Justified
Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights
Michael C. Hall, Dexter
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Hugh Laurie, House

Hugh Laurie? Again? For this pitiful, lame, past season of House? No, just no. I've never even seen this damn show but I know Laurie doesn't deserve a nomination this year.

BEST DRAMA ACTRESS
Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Kathy Bates, Harry's Law
Mariska Hargitay, SVU
Mirelle Enos, The Killing
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men

No Kyra Sedgwick this year for The Closer? harumph. No Katey Sagal for Sons of Anarchy? As much as I love Mariska Hargitay (and will never tire of the joy of saying her name aloud), giving her a nomination every year is becoming rote and unnecessary.

BEST COMEDY ACTRESS
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Laura Linney, The Big C
Melissa McCarthy, Mike & Molly
Martha Plimpton, Raising Hope
Amy Poehler, Parks & Recreation

Not one single problem with these nominations. Well, I still think Nurse Jackie is a drama NOT a comedy, but I definitely think Falco deserves recognition for her work as Jackie. Amy or Martha FTW please!

BEST COMEDY ACTOR
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Matt LeBlanc, Episodes
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Steve Carell, The Office
Johnny Galecki, The Big Bang Theory
Louie C.K., Louie

The nominating committee really did a great job with the lead comedy acting categories because I also love these noms. Especially the one for Louie C.K.

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR, COMEDY
Chris Colfer, Glee
Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family
Ed O’Neill, Modern Family
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family
Ty Burrell, Modern Family
Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men

Unlike a lot of people, I'm still just as much in love with Modern Family and its cast as I was the first season, so I was really pleased with season all four of the guys from this gem get a nom. I hate the fucking "Men" show, but Cryer getting a nomination is probably well deserved. And I even though I do not understand why everyone loves Chris Colfer so much, his nomination in this category is also expected. BUT I think that Nick Offerman deserved a nomination for his Ron Swanson from Parks & Rec.

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR, DRAMA
Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones
Josh Charles, The Good Wife
Alan Cumming, The Good Wife
Walton Goggins, Justified
John Slattery, Mad Men
Andre Braugher, Men of a Certain Age

This category is all about Dinklage and Goggins for me. Love them both, and hope it's a tie so that they both get a statuette.

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS, COMEDY
Jane Lynch, Glee
Betty White, Hot in Cleveland
Julie Bowen, Modern Family
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family
Kristen Wiig, Saturday Night Live
Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock

Fawking Betty White does not deserve a damn nomination for that decidedly UNFUNNY crap show. Betty White as a person is awesome but this blind love for her where she just gets accolades handed to her has to stop. Merritt Wever should've been nominated for Nurse Jackie instead! I'm fine with the other noms. When was the last time you saw a SNL cast member get a nomination though? That's the power of Bridesmaids for ya'.

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS, DRAMA
Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife
Kelly Macdonald, Boardwalk Empire
Christine Baranski, The Good Wife
Margo Martindale, Justified
Michelle Forbes, The Killing
Christina Hendricks, Mad Men

The two Good Wife nods, and my fave Margo Martindale are deserving nominations. The other 3? Hendricks is fine I guess, although this past season of Mad Men didn't give her much to work with. But Forbes and Macdonald? Their characters are easily the most annoying parts of their respective shows. If Martindale doesn't win this I will be PISSED.

OUTSTANDING MINISERIES OR MOVIE
Cinema Verite
Downton Abbey
The Kennedys
Mildred Pierce
The Pillars of the Earth
Too Big to Fail

Yay for Downton Abbey! Boo for The Kennedys! All of the others are fine.

OUTSTANDING ACTRESS, MINISERIES OR MOVIE
Diane Lane, Cinema Verite
Elizabeth McGovern, Downton Abbey
Kate Winslet, Mildred Pierce
Taraji P. Henson, Taken From Me: The Tiffany Rubin Story
Jean Marsh, Upstairs Downstairs

Um, is this "Taken" thing a Lifetime movie? Because the title certainly sounds like it. For some reason I'm surprised about McGovern's nomination here. Not that she wasn't great in Downton, just that I kind of thought of her as more supporting than lead. But who would want to go against Dame Maggie in the supporting category?!

OUTSTANDING ACTOR, MINISERIES OR MOVIE
Edgar Ramirez, Carlos
Greg Kinnear, The Kennedys
Barry Pepper, The Kennedys
Idris Elba, Luther
Laurence Fishburne, Thurgood
William Hurt, Too Big to Fail

No problems here I guess, except, didn't Carlos come out a million years ago? And didn't Ramirez win the Golden Globe and the SAG for this role? So how the hell is he eligible? CONFUSED.

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS, MINISERIES OR MOVIE
Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey
Evan Rachel Wood, Mildred Pierce
Melissa Leo, Mildred Pierce
Mare Winningham, Mildred Pierce
Eileen Atkins, Upstairs Downstairs

Just go ahead and give the Emmy to Maggie Smith now. Eileen Atkins was also awesome. Feisty old English grandmas FTW!

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR, MINISERIES OR MOVIE
Tom Wilkinson, The Kennedys
Guy Pearce, Mildred Pierce
Brian F. O'Byrne, Mildred Pierce
Paul Giamatti, Too Big to Fail
James Woods, Too Big to Fail

ZzzzzZzzz predictable. Don't care at all about any of these people.

BEST VARIETY SERIES
The Colbert Report
Conan
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
Real Time with Bill Maher
Saturday Night Live

Again, predictable but it's nice to see Conan get a nod and not Jay.

OUTSTANDING REALITY PROGRAM
Hoarders

Antiques Roadshow
Deadliest Catch
Mythbusters
Undercover Boss
Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

Go Antiques, go Antiques! No seriously, these all seem like deserving contenders.

OUTSTANDING REALITY COMPETITION
The Amazing Race
American Idol
So You Think You Can Dance
Top Chef

SYTYCD got a nomination finally for something other than choreography!

OUTSTANDING HOST FOR A REALITY OR REALITY-COMPETITION PROGRAM
Phil Keoghan, The Amazing Race
Ryan Seacrest, American Idol
Tom Bergeron, Dancing With the Stars
Cat Deeley, So You Think You Can Dance
Jeff Probst, Survivor

My beloved Cat Deeley FINALLY got a nomination! So ecstatic that the Emmy voters finally pulled their heads out of their asses. If Probst or Seacrest wins again I will be really fucking annoyed.

OUTSTANDING VARIETY, MUSIC OR COMEDY SPECIAL
Bette Midler: The Showgirl Must Go On
Carrie Fisher in Wishful Drinking
The Kennedy Center Honors
Lady Gaga Presents The Monster Ball Tour: At Madison Square Garden
The Pee-Wee Herman Show on Broadway

I surprisingly have seen all of the nominees this year. And I think except for the Kennedy Center they were all produced by HBO? Anyway, I'd like to see Carrie or Paul take it.

OUTSTANDING WRITING FOR A COMEDY SERIES
Episodes, "Episode 107"
Louie, "Poker/Divorce"
Modern Family, "Caught in the Act"
The Office, "Good-bye Michael"
30 Rock, "Reaganing"

Good choices for Episodes, Modern Family, and Louie. But there were much funnier episodes this season for the Office and 30 Rock. And what about Parks and Recreation?!

OUTSTANDING WRITING FOR A DRAMA SERIES
Friday Night Lights, "Always"
Game of Thrones, "Baelor"
The Killing, "Pilot"
Mad Men, "The Suitcase"
Mad Men, "Blowing Smoke"

It always bugs me when a show gets more than one nomination in the writing categories. I feel like they should limit it to one each. I don't know why I don't feel the same way for the acting categories, but I don't. I could think of at least 7 episodes of Justified that could've and should've been nominated.

OUTSTANDING WRITING FOR A VARIETY, MUSIC OR COMEDY SERIES
The Colbert Report
Conan
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
Saturday Night Live

No surprises in these nominations, but I would love to see someone other than The Daily Show writers win for once.

I have to say, I am pretty darn excited for September to roll around to see who wins. And Jane Lynch is hosting so that should be awesome.

Beautiful Nole

2011-07-01T15:56:00.000-07:00

I can't get enough of these photos of my beloved Novak Djokovic from the July/August issue of L'Uomo Vogue. He is seriously so damn hot. And that adorable dog in his arms (lucky pooch!) is Novak's poodle Pierre.
Novak played very well against Jo-Wilfried Tsonga (also adorable) today in the semi-finals to guarantee the #1 standing.
Good luck in the 2011 Wimbledon finals!

One reason to want to go to China

2011-06-30T11:43:00.000-07:00

The Jiaozhou Bay bridge opened today in the Chinese eastern port city of Qingdao, linking it to Huangdao island. The bridge spans across the sea for a little over 26 miles making it 2.5 miles longer than the previous longest bridge over water, the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway in Louisiana. I love bridges. The longer the better. The higher the better. LOVE THEM. I mean, not love like that one Belgian lady who wants to have sex with that bridge in France, but I just think they're very cool to look at and to cross. Just look at these pics of the Jiaozhou bridge -

Cool right? It's definitely going on my "bridge-cross" bucket list.

2011-06-28T12:41:00.000-07:00

We can all agree that this is a TERRIFYING image, can't we?

Good Lord, Andy Murray is really unfortunate looking.

If anyone out there sees Terrence Malick, punch him in the face for me...

2011-06-24T16:44:00.000-07:00

Or Sean Penn. Or even, sigh...my beloved Brad Pitt; would you at least give Brad a little slap on the head for me? Because that's the minimum for what I feel I'm owed after spending 2 hrs 18 min enduring The Tree Of Life. Jeezus. Where should I start with this irksome, self-indulgent, weirdo piece of crap?

Okay, let's start with its writer/director Terrence Malick. I like a lot of his films. Badlands is great, and Days of Heaven is in my top 10 movies of all time. I even liked The New World! In other words, for years I have been a Malick apologist, and have defended his weirdo artistic vision. But damn if I can do it now for Tree of Life.

You guys, it's so bad. It's confusing, with a non-linear narrative that makes no sense. It's too silent in places. Sean Penn is annoying. This film is distractingly abstract and so self-indulgent that it makes me angry.

It all started out so promising. Well sort of. For months and months I had seen the posters and the trailers for the movie. Half of me was filled with giddy anticipation - Brad Pitt and Terrence Malick together at last! - the other half was filled with dread because the trailer seemed a little wacky. But I held on to hope. It won the Palme d'Or at Cannes while it polarized the Cannes audience (standing ovation and booing?). It garnered a 87% on Rotten Tomatoes which is the 2nd highest rating for any Malick film on the site (just under Days of Heaven) which I saw as a good sign.

Critics seemed to love it. David Edelstein gave a really interesting and positive review of it for NPR. Then came Roger Ebert's review where he glowed about it, comparing it to the brillance and boldness of 2001: A Space Odyssey. I almost always agree with Ebert; if he could love it so much then I was bound to. Right? Wrong. So wrong.

The movie begins with someone whispering quotes from the Book of Job in the bible. There's a lot of whispering in this film; characters whisper questions like "how can I get close to you?" and "where were you when I laid the foundation..." , that are I guess directed towards God? Or no, maybe God is speaking through this character to another character? I don't know. All I do know is that the first 15 minutes of this movie starts out sort of promising, although a little confusing right out of the gate with Malick jumping all over time as we first see little kids playing in late 50s Texas with their parents, then cut to the mother some years later getting a telegram that her 19 yr old son has died. For a few minutes it seems like we might be going somewhere as the parents, played by Pitt and Jessica Chastain, are shown dealing with their grief. Then we cut to present day(?) where Sean Penn has bad dreams? We see Penn in a big glass skyscraper where he rides the glass elevator a lot and is having trouble concentrating at his work as an architect(?) because maybe his mother just died? Because he and his wife/girlfriend who shares his ultra modern house are both wearing black suits like they're going to a funeral and although she never says a word, she's giving him a look that is annoyed yet tinged with sadness and sympathy. Or something. Keep in mind, throughout these first few scenes there's not really any dialog and almost no exposition, so you have to guess a lot.

And then Malick loses his ever-lovin' gawdamm mind. For the next 20 minutes, Malick shares his vision of Creation. There's a dramatization of the Big Bang, and the beginnings of life on Earth. Volcanoes erupt; microbes form and squiggle around; oceans crash. Then come the DINOSAURS. Yes, you read that correctly. All through this absurdity there's mostly classical music blaring, occasionally broken up by a character's voice asking various goofy existential questions, or complete silence. It was at this point that I thought I might be having a stroke because I couldn't compute the things displaying before me on the screen. But I then looked around at my friend Cathie and several other theater patrons and realized we were all watching the same thing. The couple behind us took off, muttering that they were going to demand their money back, but at that point I was almost more fascinated to see what other craziness was in store rather than caring about when the story would get back on track.

But a "story" never really emerged. After all of the cosmos/creation crap we're dropped straight into the birth of Jack O'Brien in 1950s Waco, TX. We're shown him growing up through early adolescence struggling with his father and being a normal shitty pre-teen, as his mother gives birth to two more brothers (whose names we never know I don't think). In fact, Jack O'Brien is the only full name we ever hear. Pitt and Chastain are Mother and Father, or Mr. and Mrs. O'Brien. Mr. O'Brien is shown to be a sad, ambitious, and stern man who sees himself as a failed musician and inventor, always looking to strike it rich. He's a brutal disiplinarian with the 3 boys, and has weird rules about respect and what the kids (and his wife) should do or say. Every so often the film jumps from 1950s Waco to modern day Sean Penn as "adult Jack". Sean Penn at work and on his dumb elevator; Sean Penn lighting votives in his ultra modern house; Sean Penn at the beach, walking in the desert, walking over rocks, and seeing a bunch of dead(?) people, until finally he walks through a doorway and sees his whole family from back when they were in the 50s and is filled with a sense of peace? We are to assume that these jaunts are all in his brain. I don't know.

You may think that all of what I just wrote was way too spoilerish. It isn't. I don't think I'm conveying how weird and vacant this movie is. NOTHING HAPPENS in it. There is no story to thread any of the scenes together. I could throw out at you a bunch of words - BLUE, CAR, ROCKY, SHOE, EYEBROW, DOG, UNDERPANTS; adjectives and nouns chosen at random, and it would make just as much sense as what I've shared in the previous paragraphs.

We are led to believe that the middle O'brien child, the blondest one who has an affinity for music and plays guitar, is the one that dies. But maybe it was the youngest one who doesn't have one single line in the whole film. Was the dead brother sick? Was it an accident? Was it Vietnam (the time period would be right)? If so, why was it just a regular Western Union guy delivering the news without any gravitas and not someone from the armed forces? Does Jack feel responsible for his brother's death? He seems to because he's haunted by it lo those many years later. But nothing is ever said. There are about 160 other questions that are never answered either. But it gives me a headache to think about them.

This movie experience has shaken me to my core. I was led astray by people I trusted and I'm upset about it. But I'm telling myself that if I hadn't seen The Tree of Life, I wouldn't have been able to rant about it here and warn all of you good people.

Seriously Malick, you not only owe me the $10 for the ticket, but I get to land one good punch somewhere on your body.

SYTYCD Season 8 Top 20 (AGAIN)

2011-06-23T01:28:00.000-07:00

Just some brief notes about tonight's performances. DEBBIE REYNOLDS!!!! That's all you really need to know; even though she was sort of a bad judge. She couldn't say anything bad; like a sweet grandma.

Ryan & Ricky (Jazz): Choreographer Mandy Moore really can't give up her 80s music can she? Again compared to other seasons, everyone's really strong but I thought the judges overpraised Ryan and Ricky.

Caitlyn & Mitchell (Contemporary): It was good to see Mitchell out there. He and Caitlyn actually have a good connection; speaking of, I still don't see how Mitchell cut Caitlyn's face? With his foot? Anyway, Stacey Tookey's routines can sometimes leave me cold, but I can't complain about this one.

Missy & Wadi (Cha cha): Is it weird that I like Wadi more after the reveal about the Nair? Jean-Marc's routine was so hard. They were both really challenged and I felt for them. But I like these two and hope they stick around.

Iveta & Nick (Bollywood): I love Nick and his chicken legs. Increasingly I find myself not being able to take my eyes off Nick when he's dancing. So maybe that's why I noticed him making a ton of little mistakes. Sigh. Well I voted for them.

Miranda & Robert (hip hop): Not even a cool NappyTabs routine (about woodpeckers?)can make me like these two.

Clarice & Jess (Contemporary): Damn it Jess! Stop trying to make me like you with your cute quirky stick-figure orchestra drawings. These two impressed me with their execution of a fairly rote Stacey Tookey routine.

Jordan & Tadd (Viennaese Waltz): OMG, I fawking hate Jordan. But I couldn't love Tadd's OCD ass more. I want him to have a new partner. The waltz was pretty gorgeous though.

Melanie & Marko (Jazz): I just really love these two. They're so damn good. Hee hee about Marko and his romance novels. I could listen to Nigel Lythgoe say the word "Terpsechore" all day long.

Sasha & Alexander (Lyrical Hip Hop): Classic NappyTabs. Done to one of the many songs that I predicted this season would use, that P Diddy "Coming Home" track. Definitely one of the routines that they'll be dancing again at the end of the season. Great job by Alex and especially Sasha, but boy, I am not warming up to Alex at all. Thank goodness he shaved. Oh! Wouldn't it be great if Tadd and Sasha were a couple?!

Ashley & Chris (Broadway): The minute I saw Spencer Liff (HOT) in the audience with the other choreographers at the beginning of the show, I got excited about whatever he was going to create and whoever was going to perform it. Ashley and Chris rocked it out. Seriously Nigel, can we just have Spencer do all of the Broadway and stop Tyce from doing it?

Dissecting SIFF 2011 - Part 2

2011-06-22T09:40:00.001-07:00

Continuing on with reviews and thoughts about this year's SIFF:

Young Goethe In Love Germany - I didn't know much about Goethe before seeing this film. I knew he was a writer sometime in like the 18th century? and that his name is used by super prententious people to make others feel lame. After seeing this gorgeously shot period piece about the life and times of young Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, I still can't say I know much about him, but boy did I enjoy the 2 hours of getting to know him a little. This film is so lush; a great romance told very sweetly with humor and pathos. Alexander Fehling who plays are hero Goethe is spectacular. I would consider buying this film if/when it gets released digitally.

Saigon Electric Vietnam - This movie might be the standout of this year's festival for me. I had SO MUCH FUN watching this tale of disenfranchised youth in modern-day Saigon who are struggling to keep their dreams and hopes alive. It combines hip-hop dance battles and romance with a touching and sometimes sad story of poverty, alienation, loss, and loneliness. It was fresh and vibrant. After the screening I got to hang out with the American director Stephane Gauger (who is of Vietnamese descent) and he was great. This wonderful film is making the rounds of the festivals now, but it's scheduled for a wider release in the fall. See it if you can!!

The Names of Love France - Gosh, French films can be wacky. But also so much fun. This comedic love story with a political bent was both. Sara Forestier plays Baya, a very promiscuous young political activist of mixed Algerian-French descent who is so far on the left she has made it her mission to seduce conservatives in order to convert them to her politics (see? French wackiness!). Her magic fails to work on our protagonist Arthur (played with great aplomb by Jacques Gamblin), a middle-aged Libertarian bird-flu expert she meets. The son of a French father and a Jewish mother, Arthur is, like Baya, an “outsider” in the increasingly intolerant France of Nicolas Sarkozy. Forestier and Gamblin are perfect in their roles in this intelligent and fun satire.

Salvation Boulevard USA - This hilarious satire focuses on the evangelical movement in United States, and the hypocrisy and deceit that's often found in these religious cultures. Starring Pierce Brosnan as the pastoral leader of the Church of the Third Millenium, one of those new mega-churches with thousands of loyal followers including Carl (Greg Kinnear), an ex-Dead head pot dealer who "found the light" and a new wife and step-daughter through the church. Hijinks ensue when Brosnan's Pastor Dan accidentally shoots a philosophical rival of his and tries to put the blame on Carl. Good performances by all.

Amador Spain - Amazing work by Magaly Solier as the lead character Marcela, a pregnant and panicked home care aide to the aging Amador. Really well paced and acted by everyone.

Love Crime France - All About Eve meets Double Indemnity set in the high-powered competitive advertising world. So good. Kristin Scott Thomas kicks all sorts of ass (as usual) playing the powerful and rich advertising president Christine; I guess she's just exclusively doing French films now? It's disconcerting sometimes to not hear her speaking in English. Newcomer Ludivine Sagnier brings the main character of Isabelle to life and infuses her with so many different traits and personalities you don't know whether to love, hate, pity, or laugh at her. Excellent thriller.

Service Entrance France - See what I mean about the amount of French films I saw this year? I LOVED this movie. A delightful upstairs/downstairs comedy of manners set in 1960s Paris. It should be rentable soon if you can't find it a your local art-house theater.

Killing Bono U.K. - Fun fun fun. A comedy based on Neil McCormick's true memoir about his time as a young man srtuggling to be a rockstar in late 70s Dublin. His band Yeah! Yeah! (later re-named Shook Up!), sadly, came to naught, while his rivals in The Hype changed their name to U2, and, well, the rest is history. Starring the immensely likeable Ben Barnes (Prince Caspian from The Chronicles of Narnia) as McCormick, the film depicts his constantly frustrated hopes while rubbing salt in their wounds by painting their bitter rival Bono as—annoyingly—a pretty decent guy.

Romeos Germany - One of my top films from this year's festival. Set in Cologne, Germany, it tells the story of young transgendered man named Lukas, who is at a new university and reconnecting with an old friend of his from home when he was a "she". Lukas is also making new friends like Fabio, a gay lothario who seems so comfortable in his skin and his identity, that's like catnip to Lukas. Tensions arise as Lukas falls in love with Fabio and has to decide if and how much to reveal about his gender past. I can't tell you how moving this film was. I hope it can eventually get a wide enough distribution that a lot of people can see it.

Dissecting SIFF 2011 - Part 1

2011-06-22T09:39:00.000-07:00

I'm really late with these posts. By like almost 2 weeks. In fact, I had every intention of posting same-day reviews of each film that I saw during the Seattle International Film Festival (SIFF), but obviously I was too lazy for that.

This year I saw 21 movies during the 3 week long festival. And unlike previous years, I didn't have to cram these viewings into weekends where I force myself to see 4 movies in one day. Because I was out on FMLA recovering from surgery, I had a lot of free time on my hands. And sitting in a movie theater was easy to do and didn't require a lot of exertion that would bust my stitches open.
Anyway, this was an interesting SIFF for me because I didn't see many films from Spain. I usually end up seeing at least 4 Spanish films (I guess I like them?) but this year I only saw two. In fact, this was the first SIFF where I ended up seeing more American films than foreign films. A definite first. And I saw a lot of comedies which I usually avoid at SIFF.
Here's the first rundown of what I saw this year. I'm throwing it out randomly but also sort of in viewing date order.

First, I'll lump together the documentaries that I saw, all produced from the United States:

Page One: Documentarian Andrew Rossi set up his cameras for one year inside the New York Times’ newsroom, with unprecedented access and insight into the paper’s operations. The doc show not only how new media is impacting the Times, but also how the paper reports on its own industry’s demise is a frank way. Everyone in the theater with me LOVED this film but I kind of didn't feeel that it was that great. Maybe I was just in a bad mood.

The Interrupters: From the guy that did Hoop Dreams, this doc told the story of inner city and gang violence in Chicago; focusing on three kids who are trying to make a difference. I won't lie, I cried like a baby in parts of this. Really well done, but you have to be in a certain mood to enjoy it I think.

Being Elmo: I saw this documentary on the last day of the festival, at the last minute, literally deciding to go 10 minutes before the show started because I happen to be driving by the theater it was showing in on my way home from dinner. I had purposely avoided the other showings that the film had had because I really really really hate Elmo. But you know what? I'm sort of in love with Kevin Clash, Elmo's famed "Muppeteer". The movie is an in-depth portrait of Clash and how he came to be one of the most famous puppeteers of all time. Charming.

High Road U.S. - Matt Walsh is one of my favorite comedians. And I really wish he had acted in this film that he acted and directed. I really enjoyed the story and a lot of the performances, but there were part of it where it was really obvious that the dialogue was entirely improvised. Someone like Rob Riggle or Ed Helms is going to kill it, but other actors made some of the scenes really drag. Newcomer Zach Woods was kind of awesome as the 16 yr old kid that is one of the centers of the film.
Womb Germany - Oh boy. This movie was so messed up. I mean it was well crafted; but such a mind-fuck. Starring an entirely British cast, including Eva Green (Casino Royale) and Matt Smith (Dr. Who), if there was any SIFF film this year that I definitely would NOT see again it would be this one. Again, it was well acted and beautifully shot, but boy is the story creepy.
Crying Out Canada (Quebec) - This was the first of two films I saw at SIFF out of Quebec, and dang, it's right what they say about the Quebecquois being radically different from the rest of Canada. This is a film about MEN, and men's EMOTIONS, and it is dark. So dark. It's about 3 generations of men who are struggling with various problems, including the protagonist Jo (dad, the middle generation) who is newly widowed and not handling it well, resulting in him committing a series of petty crimes that his adult son and his father try and cover up for him. I really liked the performances of the actors that played the son (Patrick Hivon) and the grampa (Jean Lapointe) and elements of the story are good, but I just couldn't get past how bleak everything was; and I think it was supposed to be a comedy?
Beginners U.S. - This was probably the most high profile of the movies I saw this year at SIFF. And this is one of the first to have a major distributor and already be out in theaters. See this film if/when it comes to your town. I loved it. It stars Ewan McGregor and Christopher Plummer as a father (Hal) and son (Oliver) dealing with death, illness, and love. The story is told through two intertwining stories: in the present day, Oliver meets Anna, an alluring French actress who captivates him and gives him a way to heal from the recent and devastating loss of father, which has happened soon after losing his mother to cancer. As Oliver grows closer to Anna, he is still hung up on the deep emotions that erupted when, at age 75, shortly after the death of his wife, Oliver’s dad Hal came out of the closet. The second story we see in flashback as Hal, disregarding his advanced years and a diagnosis of terminal cancer, gleefully embraces his senior bon vivant lifestyle; hitting the clubs, buying a new wardrobe, and, dating a man half his age. Throughout the film, these two narratives subtly illuminate each other, as Oliver strives to learn from his father’s profound lessons on hope, courage, and love. Did I forget to mention that there's also an adorable dog in the movie? A couple of other things - Christopher Plummer is still just as charming and great looking at age 82 as he's ever been. I didn't think it was possible for Goran Visnjic to be unattractive, but he is in this film as Hal's boyfriend. Also, coincidentally Visnjic and Plummer are both going to be in the upcoming US version of The Girl With The Dragon Tatoo which I'm very excited about. Finally, Ewan McGregor and director Mike Mills were at the SIFF screening of Beginners that I went to. McGregor is hot in person y'all.
Natural Selection U.S. - This was a funny and entertaining movie, even if it didn't resonate with me that much or surprise me in any way. It stars comedian Rachael Harris as a Linda, a Christian housewife who is struggling to get pregnant who after her husband suffers a stroke, finds out about a secret adult son that her husband fathered. He asks her to track down his this son, a mullet-haired, drug-addled, escape convict named Raymond. The movie turns into a wacky road movie as Linda and Raymond travel back to grant Abe’s final wish. They form a bizarre relationship that changes them both dramatically. Natural Selection took the Grand Jury Prize and Audience Award at this year’s SXSW. And Matt O'Leary as Raymond was kind of a revelation.
Jucy Australia - Oh god, I loved this movie. Director Louise Alton tells a warm-hearted story set in Brisbane about BFFs Jackie and Lucy, (played by newcomers Cindy Nelson and Francesca Gasteen, real-life best friends who created the characters together), aka Jucy. The friendship is chronicled set against a story about them auditioning and putting on a production of Jane Eyre with their local community theater. You guys, this movie is like "AbFab" meets "Muriel's Wedding" for the new millenium. So charming and relatable and fun. I really hope it gets a wide distribution because everyone should get a chance to see it.

"Does this ad make me look fat?"

2011-06-17T11:02:00.000-07:00

So you know that Yoplait yogurt commercial that shows the lady at the office agonizing over whether she should enjoy a piece of raspberry cheesecake or not, by justifying what she'll do to compensate for the extra calories? It's a funny and effective piece of advertising, right?
Well evidently some ~~overly sensitive wackadoos~~ concerned people over at the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) think that the ad sends a very dangerous message so they've demanded that the ad be pulled off the air, and Yoplait agreed. Sigh...really?
NEDA (which is of course based out of Seattle, #1 city for passive-aggression) has said "a commercial showing a thin person anxiously doing mental gymnastics in order to justify eating dessert—and then denying herself the treat because she wants to be even thinner—could reinforce the idea that such deliberations are healthy and normal".
But...but I think that is normal. Look, this country has a shit-ton of people who are obese and just as many more who are dieting or have lost weight but still find it a daily struggle to maintain their efforts. People have arguments and conversations with themselves all the time regarding whether or not to eat that chocolate chip cookie or have that second helping of lasagne. That's why the ad works! I don't understand NEDA's position on this at all. If we have to calibrate all food advertising to cater to the emotional stability of people with eating disorders, then should we even had any ads at all for food?

Am I being insensitive? Whatever. None of this controversy even addressed my problem with the Yoplait ad. What kind of office do these people work in where they have co-workers bringing in gourmet, fancy, delicious looking raspberry cheesecake for everyone to enjoy? I want to work there!

SYTYCD Season 8 - Top 20 Performance

2011-06-16T00:40:00.000-07:00

As I said in my last post, this season's top 20 are all very good dancers, so there isn't really anything I can criticize about anyone's technique. Megan Mullaly was the guest judge for some reason. She's supposedly a crazy super-fan who's seen every episode of every season so I could sort of get behind that and ignore that she's not really a dancer anymore.

Jordan & Tadd: Afro Jazz -
Ugh, I was disappointed to see Tadd paired up with Jordan because to tell you the truth I kind of hate Jordan. She's a great dancer, but her personality grates and her face bugs the hell out of me. I hope the positive feedback that Tadd got for his great dancing from all of the judges is a good sign. I really like him! I'm still not sure I like Sean Cheesman as a choreographer though.

Sasha & Alexander: Contemporary - Is there ever going to be a Travis Wall choreographed routine that I don't like? These two lucked out. Going shallow for a minute, Alexander needs to stop it with the weird facial hair that looks like he's wearing makeup, it's creepy. I totally agreed with Mary and Megan that Alex and Sasha didn't seem to connect as a couple and that Sasha was way more invested into the character of the dance than he was. I'm kind of race-biased, I really want a black female dancer like either Sasha or Ashley to go far in the competition this season.

Clarice & Jess: Broadway - Ugh. What are the odds?! That fucking Jess would get this freakin' style? I was so annoyed that one of my favorite girls was paired up with Jess, who is so "ON" all the time that he totally irks me. They were paired I'm quite sure because they're both so tiny. And once again, Tyce Diorio's crap ass Broadway choreography disappoints.

Ryan & Ricky: Lyrical Hip-Hop - Mmmm I'm totally digging choreographer Christopher Scott. Every routine he's done I've loved. I want him to be my boyfriend. Can we talk about Ricky's annoying as hell name? Ricky Jaime? It's so ridiculous. He and Ryan together have...how shall I put it...so many TEETH. They're very perky, but I kind of love them. Definitely one of my fave routines of the night.

Caitlynn & Mitchell*: Jazz from Sonya Tahyeh - Mitchell fucked his elbow up so Caitlynn danced with S7's Robert. It was so sad to see Mitchell crying in the audience. I feel really bad for him because he'll automatically be in the bottom 3 which is only fair. He was one of my early predictions to go far in this comp. I think Caitlynn is a little over praised. My eyes roll when she talks.

Miranda & Robert: Jive - Jason Wilkinson cracks me up but generally this was my least favorite routine of the night. Mostly because I don't like Robert and to some extent Miranda (mostly Robert). I'm already sick to death of the WOO thing. Do people really like this dude? Ugh. But I felt for them because they're the only couple that got screwed with a style choice this week.

Missy & Wadi: Jazz - Sean Cheesman's pectoral muscles scare me. I don't know if I liked his "sexy demon" routine that he did for these two. Hmmm. The judges like it, so there's that.

Melanie & Marko: Contemporary - Love love love. Travis Wall routine + 2 of my faves this season = LOVE. I'm glad that Nigel caught and commented on the tiny errors that Marko and Melanie made, but Nigel agreed with me that those flaws didn't mar how wonderful a performance it was.

Ashley & Chris: Hip Hop - Ashley is so cute. I lurve her. Chris? Eh. So consequently I didn't feel a deep connection between them. But I enjoyed their fun Chris Scott routine.

Iveta & Nick: Quickstep - I call foul! Iveta pulls ballroom as a style? harumph Anyway, I knew these two would be paired because they're the tallest. But I loved their quickstep to Ballroom Blitz. Jason Gilkinson is a nut.

Predictions for bottom 3:

Girls = Miranda, Jordan, and either Ashley or Missy

Boys = Mitchell*, Robert, and either Tadd (frowny face) or Wadi

Season 8 of So You Think You Can Dance

2011-06-15T13:38:00.000-07:00

I've been lame and haven't posted anything on this latest season of So You Think You Can Dance. Dearest Vance over at Tapeworthy wrote up a great summary about the show last week that showcased our season 8 Top 20 dancers that I encourage everyone to read.

But I'm going to try and end my writing hiatus now by briefly talking about the top 20, and five of the finalists that I'm excited to see perform tonight. In general I'm impressed by every single contestant this year, which might be a first for me. So far I've really enjoyed everyone's performance. Although I'm a little concerned that I may grow tired of some of the dancers and their annoying personalities (I'm looking at you Robert and Ricky!), and fear that I'm already weary of Jess' schtick and that thin line he rides right on the edge of arrogance.
I'm super excited that they've brought back a top 20, and can't wait to see who they pair up together. And then once it's down to a top 10 this season the All-Stars are back!! They showed Allison, Twitch, and Kathryn in the audience of the LA auditions which made me think they're coming back, and we got Pasha(!) on the top 20 reveal last week, but will the rest of last season's All-Stars be returning? As much as I love him, I could do without Dominic and maybe see Legacy in his place. And I'd really love to have Jakob on my screen again beyond the 2 seconds they showed him doing some of the choreography at the auditions. MarK Kanemura is on tour with Gaga again I believe so I'm not sure if he's available. Maybe we could get Will!

Anyway, here are the dancers that caught my eye last week that I'm excited to see tonight. I'm not saying that they're my favorites yet, just that they stood out the most and left me wanting to see more. True favorites probably won't emerge until after tonight or next week.

Clarice - She's just so pretty. And I love her jazz style. I don't remember her original audition if we saw it, but she was a shining star in Vegas.

Marko - I think this is the dude with the bullet in his shoulder? Anyway, he's kind of great. I remember his audition in NY or wherever and his lyrical jazz style surprised me but on last week's ep he was amazing. Can't wait to see who he's paired up with.

Melanie - My #1 choice to win this whole thing. Her smile and joy is infectious. How can you not love her? Also? She's a fawking AWESOME dancer. Totally kickass.

Nick - Hmmm, I didn't really like this kid in his initial audition. And I don't remember them showing him in Vegas at all. But then all of a sudden he comes out on stage last week and totally wowed me; both in the Broadway routine with Jess and in the boys "hip-hop" routine. I won't lie; I am hot for him.

Tadd - I saw this guy for the first time in last week's Vegas semi-final eps. I haven't liked a b-boy this much since Legacy, and Tadd seems to have a real knack for other styles of dance. Whenever he was on stage during the top 20 reveal episode I couldn't take my eyes off him. I am completely intrigued.

Greatest Things I Saw on TV this week: May 16 - 21

2011-05-20T11:57:00.000-07:00

1. The Other Woman - First, you should know that this past weekend Lifetime Movie Network did some awesome programming by having the "The Stars of Spelling Weekend Movie Marathon". 48 hours of made-for-tv-movies featuring the stars of the plethora of Aaron Spelling television shows spanning almost four decades. So many gems, but the movie that Tivo Suggestions decided to record for me was this 2008 spectacular movie starring the awesome Josie Bissett (Melrose Place) and Jason Priestly (BH 90210).

Where do I start? It's a story about a lady (Bissett) who traded a successful career as a tv journalist to teach at a college part time and marry David, a successful defense attorney with a 16yr old daughter from a previous marriage. One night at a company party, a sexy young legal aide named Nicole, boldly tells Jill that she's going to steal her husband. Jill is of course shocked by the weirdo, but kind of blows it off. The psycho stalking, manipulation, and crazy pranks that Nicole pulls off escalate until Jill can no longer ignore the problem and she decides to fight.
When David's boss is murdered in his sleep,and his wife confesses to the murder claiming self defense, Jill turns to old friend and fellow journalist Pete (Priestley) to figure out if Nicole didn't have something to do with it. As soon as Priestly's character is introduced in the first 30 minutes it's telegraphed that he and Jill are going to get together in the end, but you don't really know how it's going to play out because in the beginning Jill's husband is a decent, if COMPLETELY IDIOTIC, guy who clearly loves his 2nd wife. But guess what? Jill and Pete don't hook up! They just renew their friendship and help solve a crime together. Sure, you can surmise that they might get together somewhere down the road, but the ending of this movie was really satisfying because it had such a realistic ending. Also by the end, Jill's hubby is revealed to be a total tool who has in fact been cheating on her. Turns out there isn't really anything sinister about the crazy Nicole chick; she didn't kill the boss guy. She's not a murderer, she's a delusional psycho! The movie ends with Jill wishing David and Nicole the best - she realizes that they're both getting what/who they deserve.
Considering how melodramatic and cheesy this movie could've been I was pleasantly surprised; damn Lifetime, you got me again!

2. The two-part James Frey "apology" episodes on the Oprah Winfrey show - Oy. I've been a Frey defender from the beginning, so I was surprised at how annoyed I was with him during this 2-part reconnection with Oprah, where they rehashed his January 2006 Oprah-thrashing. In the end I was more impressed with Oprah because of her honesty about the criticism she took from close friends of hers about how inappropriately mean and condescending she was to Frey, and about how she lashed out from a place of ego. Oprah actually APOLOGIZED and cried! It was something to behold. But James Frey almost didn't deserve it. I don't know. He just bugged me for some reason. Still, the whole thing was certainly worth 2 hours of my television viewing this week.

3. America's Next Top Model cycle 16(?) finale - For the first time in years (maybe since cycle 5 or 6) my two favorite girls were the finalists. I loved Brittani and Molly from the very first episode of this cycle and my love for them never waned. I championed them through the good times when they both consistently rocked photo shoots and challenges, and I was still there with them when they each had their struggles like Molly having to live with a HORRIFIC weave, or when Brittani lost her shit in front of the client (Ford) and yelled at Alexandria for being such a tool. I told myself going into this week's finale that I loved Molly and Brittani equally and didn't care who won; that was true for the most part but damn if I didn't tear up a little for Molly when she ultimately lost out. I hope IMG is smart enough to give her a contract anyway. They would be fucking fools to lose her to another agency. Happy for Brittani though!

Greatest thing I've seen on TV this week

2011-05-13T13:36:00.000-07:00

I watched an episode of the television show Fame this week. It was from season 5 titled "His Majesty Donlon", which focused on Chris (*in a staggering performance by Billy Hufsey) who gets caught up in political intrigue when a Prince Freddy of Vatonia visits New York to make a speech for a United Nations' event.
You see, Chris is the prince's perfect look-a-like, except of course for a birthmark on his chest, so is chosen to switch places with him after Prince Freddy's life is threatened because he's trying to marry some baron's daughter from the USSR?
Oh and CRAZILY the Russian baron's daughter? Is a doppelganger for Nicole (Nia Peeples) who coincidentally is Chris' dance partner for the big ballet performance that the highschool is doing that week. But for some reason they don't really make that big of a deal about Nicole looking identical to the Russian chick? SO confusing.

A couple of things that struck me while watching this gem -

The whole "fake twin" plot was such a late 70s/early 80s go-to device but it was usually reserved for shark jumping stage when the show was taking its last gasps before cancellation. And yet, Fame went on for another season and a half after this turd aired.
Another cliched trope from that period of television were infinite fake eastern European countries that they were always coming up with. Vatonia? Really?
I had completely forgotten that every episode of Fame ended with a song/video/dance routine montage done on the streets of "New York". EVERY episode.
I loved this show so much in my early teen years. I mean seriously loved. Was I on drugs?

*Sarcasm used liberally

Underrated Movies - For the love of "Absolute Beginners"

2011-05-08T12:50:00.000-07:00

The years were 1985 and 1986. I was a teen growing up in the burgeoning hard-core punk scene in Washington, DC and when I wasn't listening to local heroes like Fugazi and KingFace, I was OBSESSED with anything and everything British Mod Revival. The music - Style Council, The Jam, Echo & The Bunnymen, The Specials, The English Beat. The fashion - skinny pegged brushed cotton trousers, Creepers, parkas, and late 50s/early 60s inspired crap. And I wasn't the only one. This scene was seeping into American culture in a lot of big cities. There was a reason that I almost ran away from my tour group when we went to London in the spring of 1986, to steep myself fully in the culture and live a divine life in Notting Hill.

And then there was the 1986 film Absolute Beginners.
It was the visually inventive and energetic pop musical adapted from Colin MacInnes' 1959 cult novel of the same name. Absolute Beginners is like a color-soaked, crazy infectious music video come to life. It's one of the best examples of the fantasy-like movie adaption (like Velvet Goldmine) where they take a staid source material and bring it to the screen in the biggest, over-the-top way possible.
It is the tale of two swinging English teens; 19 yr old photographer Colin, played by the dreamy Eddie O'Connell, and fashion icon wanna-be (Crepe) Suzette played by the gorgeous Patsy Kensit; set against the backdrop of emerging youth culture and racial tension in late 1950s London. Colin is hopelessly in love with Suzette, but her relationships are strictly connected with her progress in the fashion world. So Colin gets involved with a pop promoter and tries to crack the big time. Meanwhile, racial tension is brewing in Colin's neighborhood, as the rich whites come in to gentrify and redevelop the poor and largely non-white Notting Hill housing estate. As Suzette becomes a success in the fashion business and looks set to leave her street roots behind, Colin is torn between his youthful idealism and his desire to do whatever is necessary to lure her back.

I won't mislead you. Absolute Beginners is silly. The characters are flimsy and two-dimensional. And even though the film is telling a fairly compelling story in an unique way, it largely fails in many ways. BUT what it gets right! The music. The beautiful seeped-in colors saturating every frame. The movie has an "atmosphere" that is really engaging. David Bowie is still so cool both singing the title tune and playing the promoter. It also features the great James Fox and Bruce Payne. There's no shortage of enjoyable moments.
This movie hasn't been on my radar since college, and even then it's probably been a good 23 years sinc I've watched it all the way through. But that's one of the only joys of being confined in bed recovering from surgery; you get to watch wacky stuff on Instant Netflix that you wouldn't normally bother with. I'm so glad I spent my Sunday morning with this blast from the past. Makes me want to dig my blue suede Creepers out of my closet, buy a Vespa, and cruise around town singing "Have You Ever Had It Blue?" at the top of my lungs.

Things and things

2011-05-02T22:56:00.000-07:00

Quick thoughts on the Season 3 Reunion of RuPaul's Drag Race:

The prettiest queens remain Carmen Carrera, Delta Work, and Manila Luzon. These ladies really know how to consistently BRING IT. LOVE their total looks, always.
On the other end of the spectrum - um, WTF Shangela?! Why haven't you learned how to put on makeup? Ugh. So ugly. But surprisingly Raja, make-up artist extraordinaire, didn't look good either.
Who knew Mariah could be so charming? Can't wait for her turn (and Carmen's) on the upcoming DragU.
Not to give her anymore thought than she deserves but, DAMN, Shangela is still the most annoying asshole on Earth.

Things and things - 3rd week of April 2011 edition

2011-04-21T12:33:00.000-07:00

Things I'm excited about this week:

Amazon announced that they're changing/updating the Kindle formatting to allow users to download e-books from public libraries. HALELUJAH!!!!!!!!
Gossip Girl returned this week and made me realize how much I missed it.

I haven't talked about the new season of America's Best Dance Crew yet, but so far season 6 is shaping up nicely. I'm already totally in the bag for the Footworkingz crew, and who the hell could guess that D-Trix (aka Dominic Sandoval from Season 3/7 of So You Think You Can Dance) would make such a great judge. He gives constructive and intelligent feedback, can really come from a different place than Lil' Mama and JC because he was an ABDC contestant and winner as part of the Season 3 champs Quest Crew, and seems genuinely excited to be there (ahem Omarion) and not at all condescending (Omarion). And D-Trix so far isn't nearly as spazzy and annoying as he can be when he's hammed it up on SYTYCD in the past. If I can't have my Shane Sparks back, I'll settle for Dom. Other improvements this season have been that so far there's been NO Layla Kayleigh. I never understood her role or the need for another semi-host on this show. This sixth season is the "season of the superstar" or some nonsense, and will focus each week on a different artist's music (instead of also including dance styles like in previous seasons?). For the first 2 episodes the artists themselves introduced the song packages and while they were both kind of wacky (seriously, are Lil' Wayne and Ke$ha on drugs ALL the time?), having the musicians there via videotape made a lot more sense than Layla Kayleigh and her annoying British accent.

Justified kind of ROCKED MY WORLD this week. My boyfriend Timothy Olyphant was superb as usual as Deputy Raylan Givens, but this week also featured the underappreciated Deputy Tim as a major part of the A plot. After the attempt on Raylan and Winona's lives, Chief Mullen assigns Tim to be Raylan's bodyguard. Of course with halirious results. On any other show, Jacob Pitts would be a star; he infuses Tim with such a laconic, wry dependability. But thems the breaks I guess. When you have the hotness of Olyphant to compete with, you can't help but fade to the background. Last night's ep was totally torn from the pages of my fantasy slash fanfic. See also: Walton Goggins as Boyd Crowder. Hubba hubba...

Things that intrigued me this week (for good or bad):

James Frey is going back on Oprah?! I was one of the few folks out there that were always in Frey's corner when it came to the debacle over the validity of his memoir A Million Little Pieces and the subsequent dressing down and humiliation that he was subjected to by Oprah back in 2006 (geez, was that really 5 years ago?!). Winfrey's patronizing, holier-than-thou attitude and anger towards Frey was the beginning of my now strong hatred of Oprah. Even after hearing that she later apologized to Frey, I couldn't forgive her for being such a pretentious ass to him. Here's hoping that this final appearance for him on her show will be enlightening and triumphant for Frey. He kind of deserves it. He's had a shitty couple of years.

The horrifying news on April 20th of the deaths of journalists Tim Hetherington (pictured above) and Chris Hondros and this article on NPR.org have been on my mind. If you haven't seen the Oscar-nominated documentary Restrepo, that Hetherington co-directed with Sebastian Junger please rent it or stream it today.

Things that made me want to punch something/one:

This kid -

Seriously. Stop singing country songs. Stop being the smarmiest smarm that ever smarmed; you're only 17 for crissakes! Stop holding the microphone like a flute with both hands. JUST STOP everything. And America, stop fawking voting for this douchebag.

This huge asshole -

I do not f*cking understand what is wrong with so many damn people in this country. Why on Earth would you ever listen to anything this fawkwad would have to say about running the United States of America? WTF?! He is so ridiculous and enraging. One can only hope that everything indeed plays out as many pundits are predicting, that this whole Trump 2012 campaign nonsense will blow over soon. When even Karl fawking Rove lambasts you, you have to know something's wrong.

Revamped Law & Order: Los Angeles

2011-04-12T16:51:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person who watches the latest sprouting from Dick Wolf's Law & Order franchise machine - L&O: Los Angeles or "LOLA" as NBC is trying to brand it.

I started watching it because Alfred Molina and my boyfriend Skeet Ulrich were going to be on it, and because I was mourning the loss of original recipe L&O. I stayed for new boyfriend Corey Stoll and his character, Detective TJ Jaruszalski's magnificent moustache, and the LA-centric storylines.

Sure, the new show had it's problems, like the somewhat bloated cast on the DA side of things, Terrence Howard and his scenery chewing, and the sometimes silly "Hollyweird" stuff, but in general I really liked what they'd come up with. And did I mention the hotness of Corey Stoll and his moustache? Sigh.

So then came the news a couple of months ago when the show went on hiatus that when it returned in April 2011, it would have a new streamlined cast and more focused storylines. And then the commercials for last night's return started running on NBC a few weeks ago and they hinted that Skeet Ulrich's character, Detective Rex Winters was going to be killed. What?! I was totally unhappy with this development. So far I haven't found any interview with Skeet to hear what happened from his side, but I saw an E! interview with Terrence Howard where they asked him about the cast shake-up and he basically said that he missed Skeet and the others that weren't there anymore but that he was just happy to still have a job (hinting at his firing from Iron Man 2 I guess?).

Anyway, last night's return episode(s) was 2 hours of pretty riveting television. Skeet was killed off fairly early on in the first ep and the rest of the hour was spent trying to prosecute his killer. It ended with the guy getting away with it - something that I've always LOVED about L&O - they don't make everything a happy ending. Oftentimes cases just kind of fall apart and the bad guys often win. Just like real life. It's strangely satisfying.

The second hour had Alfred Molina's DA Morales so fed up with the politics and corruption of the Prosecutor's and State government offices that he decides to go back to being a cop, and guess what? He pulls strings to be Jaruszalski's new partner.

As far-fetched as this plot twist is, Stoll and Molina actually have great chemistry. So I'm excited about how the Jaruszalski/Morales partnership plays out. But GAWDDAMMIT!!! Corey Stoll shaved off the moustache! Unforgiveable!

The other change that we see in the second hour is that Assistant D.A. Connie Rubirosa from L&O: Original Recipe is now Deputy D.A. and working with Howard's DA character Joe Decker, after having moved out west to be with her sick mother. Junior D.D.A.s Evelyn Price and Lauren Stanton (Regina Hall and Megan Boone) are out. I'm totally onboard for this change. I like Alana De La Garza as an actress way more than Hall and Boone, and now just having 2 people on the DA side to focus on is so much better for the show, even if one of those people is fawking Terrence Howard.

But Corey baby, please grow the 'stache back! Smooches! xoxo

Some thoughts about "Insidious"

2011-04-04T19:43:00.000-07:00

So I saw Insidious this past weekend. It came in #3 at the box office its opening weekend and I guess that's okay but I don't know if they'll be able to sustain it.
The movie was okay. It was a little more cliched and much more of a Poltergeist rip-off than I expected, but for a "scary movie" it was enjoyable. I guess I thought it would be scarier; I'm kind of a wimp when it comes to horror films, and I only jumped like twice in the theater.

Some thoughts (good and bad) that went through my head during and after the movie:

What was the purpose of Rose Byrne's character being a songwriter? It had NO connection to the story at all. Of all the "work from home" professions they could think of why this one? The one song they showed her writing and singing was really lame.
And while we're talking about it, if you're going to have one of your leads be a songwriter, and her character's husband is played by Patrick Wilson, an actor with a BEAUTIFUL voice who has been nominated for TWO Tony awards for his singing? Don't have said character played by Patrick Wilson "act" tone-deaf and feign a horrible singing voice. It's insulting to Patrick and his fans. And my ears.
Rose Byrne's character is named "Renai". Ugh. What is the purpose of this whacked out spelling. Renee. Geez.
I did find it odd but kind of awesome and fairly realistic that when they showed Byrne and Wilson getting ready for bed, they were dressed and doing things like real adult people. Wearing old t-shirts and boxers as pjs and Patrick putting eye cream on for his wrinkles and concerned about his thinning and graying hair.
What is up with Barbara Hershey playing super creepy moms these days? And there was strangely no chemistry between her and Patrick Wilson. They barely acted like they knew each other, much less were supposed to be mother and son. Everytime he said 'Mom' I was shocked that he was talking to Hershey.
Could've done without the lame "Geek Squad" paranormal activity ghostbuster dudes, who were supposed to be comedy relief?
Who is taking care of Renai and Josh's two other kids if Grandma Barbara is at the house fighting demons?!
SPOILER ALERT - I get that they geared the ending for a sequel but damn, did they have to leave so many unanswered questions? Was the black/red faced demon defeated? Was the old lady demon at the end the same one we learned of earlier in the film?
Why was the black/red faced demon shown in, what can only be described as his boudoir, prancing around like Buffalo Bill. I mean seriously, why do movies these days make demons act so fey?
Why wasn't it scarier?

Okay, I'll admit, this was a scary fucking scene.

TV Musings - Last week of March 2011

2011-03-31T14:53:00.000-07:00

This week for Lent I've given up Tivo. Well, I've really been forced to give it up because my beloved Reuben (that's my Tivo's name) died on Sunday; total hard drive failure. EEEK! And while I do have another dvr, its hard drive space is very limited because I have a bunch of HD programs taking up a ton of space, which essentially has left me with having two televisions that I have been forced to watch LIVE, in real time, without the ability to rewind or pause. **gasp**

But while I'm on this dvr-hiatus, I haven't totally been forgoing television altogether. Here are some things keeping me interested this week:

It looks like the fan and critic outrage over the new Wonder Woman suit/costume forced some changes. Gone is the ultra shiny vinyl cheap looking "pants" and slutty high heels. I like it much better, but I'm still skeptical about this revamp of the classic series from the 1970s.

I'm okay with Richard Blais winning the Top Chef All-Stars finale but boy, I really wish he had competed against Antonia instead of gross Mike Isabella. Anyway, I'm super excited to see the All Star reunion next week when Elia gets ripped a new one for being such a bitch. And the new Top Chef Masters season starts next week too, hosted by my boyfriend Curtis Stone who must have some naughty pictures of Jeff Zucker in his possession. How else to explain Stone's dominance on anything and everything NBC Universal has on television? I can think of 5 shows off the top of my head that he's been involved with, and that's just in the past 6 months.

The Beverly Hills housewives are back for Season 2! As much as I generally dislike Bravo's Real Housewives franchise(s), I did thoroughly enjoy the Beverly Hills edition, especially Lisa Vanderpump. But seriously Bravo, what happened to all of my awesome "gay" shows like Make Me a Super Model, Shear Genius, and Top Design? Sigh...at least I'll soon be getting new reality shows for Brad Goreski and Chris March.
Perfect Couples is getting the ax (at least temporarily) and being replaced by a new show from Paul Reiser. Man, I really wanted to like Perfect Couples. I like most of the cast, and I LOVE a lot of the writers, especially Jen Kirkman and Nick Adams, so it was really weird how bad it was. It had its moments, but for the most part it sucked.

Sometimes people are awesome - Hot guys from history edition

2011-03-24T16:26:00.000-07:00

As my close friends know, I pretty much hate people. But sometimes they can come up with creative and hilarious things like this website.

God bless 'em, I think I just found my new favorite thing.

Can we all agree?

2011-03-24T11:30:00.000-07:00

That this guy is a douche?

Die Scotty McCreery. DIE.

Happy Birthday to me - Over The Hill edition

2011-03-23T12:26:00.000-07:00

Today is my 40th birthday. Yikes! And while I want and should be feeling like Charlie and Snoopy above, today I've mostly been thinking about my mom and a conversation she and I had on her 40th birthday back when I was in 7th grade. Back then, the thought of being forty was totally unfathomable to me. I thought for sure by 2011 we'd be flying around in space cars and that I'd have 4 kids and be living in some Blade Runner-esque world. When mom turned 40 she was super excited but also a little frightened. At the time she was contemplating leaving her job and beginning a whole new career, and she was dealing with the fact that her beloved mother was very sick and probably in the last months of her life (which turned out to be correct). Of course, she didn't share any of these big concerns with me; instead she talked with me about how when you're a teenager or young adult you tend to make all these plans that never actually become realized. And that that's okay. That the whole "everything happens for a reason" "God always has a plan" sentiments are actually pretty true. And how things are are how they were meant to be. My mom told me that when she was a freshman in college she imagined herself at 40 as being some famous artist living in Europe with a gaggle of children and some fancy bohemian husband. But that her reality, living in the nation's capitol, mother of an only child who she was raising practically on her own because of her husband's out of town job; was a better reality, and the right reality for her.

So here I am forty years old today. And I don't have a space car. Nor do I have any kids, much less four. I'm not a famous photojournalist working for National Geographic; my dream at 9. I'm not a marine biologist; my dream at 19. I'm not a famous novelist; yet. I work in health care, with Medicare policy. I live by myself with a dog I inherited in a lovely modern home in Seattle, WA. I have wonderful friends. I'm doing ok. This is my reality. It's the right reality for me.

Casting "The Hunger Games" - If I Ruled The World

2011-03-17T15:25:00.000-07:00

Steve Granitz/Wire Image

As everyone on Earth pretty much knows, Lionsgate is furiously scrambling trying to finish choosing their cast for the soon to start production of the film adaption of one of the my favorite book series The Hunger Games. This morning it was announced that Jennifer Lawrence (above) has landed the role of Katniss. Although the producers ultimately didn't go with my first choice of Hailee Steinfeld who was the perfect age, coloring, and build for Katniss, I understand why they went with the older Lawrence. Hailee's age would've prevented her from working a full shooting day and would've made the casting of Peeta tougher. Let's face it folks, there aren't any good male actors that could handle Peeta that are under the age of 18; and casting someone older than that to be romantic with Steinfeld would've felt wrong. And Jennifer Lawrence is truly a great actress and supposedly gave an amazing audition for Katniss that impressed everybody. She was certainly gritty enough in Winter's Bone, and I think if they darkened her hair she'll do just fine.

Real or not real? The current front-runner for the role of Peeta is hottie boombalotty Hunter Parrish. I'm fine with this choice, especially since Jennifer's been cast.

I do think that Parrish would be better suited for the role of Finnick Odair (and it would mean we'd get to see more of Hunter's delicious skin), but he's a great actor and has the chops to handle the role of the book's hero.

What about the other hero in the book, hometown hunk Gale? Well there's several guys rumored to be up for it including Adam Gregory from the new (horrendous) 90210 and an unknown (at least to me) Thomas Mcdonell who in my opinion certainly looks like the way Gale is described in the book, except for the eye color. Strangely, I'm not as invested in the casting of Gale as I am in other characters of the book.

For example, I would boycott the films full stop if they didn't cast black or dark-brown skinned actors for the roles of Rue and Thresh. But I keep imagining nightmare scenarios where Willow Smith gets the role of Rue. I mean think about it, she's kind of perfect for the role isn't she? Ugggh, I want shoot myself for even putting that thought out there in the ether.

And then there's the pivotal role of Hamish. A man who is supposed to be in his late 30s/early 40s who's been totally ravaged by drink and depression. Ever since Entertainment Weekly did a poll about who should play him way back in August and mentioned Robert Downey Jr. as a choice, I have been kind of obsessed with this idea. He would do f*cked up drunk so well. But still be able to pull off Hamish's sense of humor, while keeping it dark. I'm sure there's no way that RDJ has been approached for this but he's seriously the only person I can picture now, even when I recently reread the last two books in the series. I guess I just ultimately hope that the producers and director Gary Ross are thinking seriously and smartly about the casting choices for ALL of the roles, not just Katniss and Peeta. Everyone's important.

Dreamy!

2011-03-16T10:48:00.001-07:00

My response to the screencap picture above and last night as it aired on television? SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

I have had serious reservations all season regarding Blaine and Kurt's burgeoning relationship. I loved the introduction of the Dalton Academy Warblers and Blaine, and particularly the addition of Darren Criss to the acting ensemble; he's a great little actor along with having an amazing voice and face. I held my breath as they showed Kurt falling in love with Blaine and worried that the only reason they introduced his character was to give Kurt a mate. But then the writers seemed to steer things in a good direction with Kurt and Blaine developing a friendship and not immediately falling into a romantic relationship. I liked last week's episode with Blaine going to Mr. Hummell and the subsequent Hummell Father/Son sex and relationship talk. I even liked the episode a few weeks back where Kurt was hurt when Blaine professed his crush on that weird Gap employee and actually revealed his feelings to Blaine, and how it didn't affect their friendship. I thought that was fairly realistic concerning something that would happen with teens in real life. I was firmly on the side of Blaine and Kurt not being a couple, at least not yet.
But a tv show is a tv show and I knew that eventually this season we would have Kurt and Blaine romantically involved for better or for worse. So last night - IT HAPPENED. Kurt and Blaine kissed.

Early in last night's episode, little Pavarotti, the Dalton Academy canary that Kurt was taking care of died suddenly. Kurt eulogizes the bird with the other Dalton boys by singing the Beatles song "Blackbird" and in that scene you see Blaine having an epiphany and coming to the realization that he loves Kurt. It was a beautiful scene. Darren Criss has such gorgeous, emoting features; when the camera slowly pans across Blaine's loving, enraptured face it was really moving.

Later, Blaine confessed his feelings to Kurt and then the momentous kiss happened. And it was kind of perfect. It wasn't too twee, or too overtly sexy. It wasn't tame, nor was it vulgar. In a word, it was HOT. And sweet. And lovely.

So good job Glee. But my happiness over last night doesn't mean that I'm not still concerned or cynical about where/how you're going to take this relationship. Last night's climatic lip-lock and Blaine's love revelation seemed a little rushed, so I'm once again withholding judgment until I see how it all plays out through the rest of this season. But if it means that I get more Darren Criss on my screen then I'm all for it. He is so damn cute.

American Idol - Top 13 Performances

2011-03-10T12:43:00.000-08:00

I mentioned already last week that I only care about two of this season's American Idol finalists right?

Make that one.

Photo credit: Ray Mickshaw/FOX

Seriously y'all, I kind of am in love with Casey Abrams. I can't explain it.

Mike Starr finally loses battle against drugs

2011-03-09T10:15:00.000-08:00

Former Alice in Chains bassist Mike Starr, lately back in the spotlight because of his stint on Celebrity Rehab 3 and Sober House, died yesterday in Utah. An autopsy report hasn't been released yet, but considering he was just arrested for drug possession a few weeks ago, chances are Starr overdosed.
It's so sad. Man, drugs are EVIL.
Although Mike Starr was a mess physically in recent years, I choose to remember him back when he was a hot, young, troubled soul back in the early/mid 90s.

So long dude.

American Idol Season 10 - The Final Baker's Dozen

2011-03-04T13:16:00.000-08:00

After last season's horror, I had kind of decided that I was through with American Idol. But then came the new judges (I'm an unabashed fan of both J. Lo and Steven Tyler), and although I didn't watch the audition episodes I heard they were a lot better, actually showing people who could sing etc. And they made other changes too like adding online voting. And then came Hollywood Week which is when I would typically start my AI season viewing, and somehow I just got sucked into the machine again.
Then came the top 24 performances this week. I loved the fact that they were being so brutal and not prolonging the torture by cutting 12 folks right away this week to come up with the finalists. But I was so disappointed in the actual 24 people that I felt totally let down. Seriously there were barely 4 performances total that I liked for the week. Last night the finalists were revealed - 10 chosen by America (aka dumbass tween girls and creepy old men) and ~~two~~ 3 chosen as "wild cards" by the judges. I'm non-plussed by the results. There's only a couple of people to root for and there aren't enough people for me to hate (although you're on notice James Durbin and Scotty McTeery). I am firmly on Team Casey and Team Thia who share no common denominator other than they're awesome. And that Stefano kid is okay; also his mother works in my office so I feel like I kind of have to cheer for him. But I won't be wasting valuable DVR space on this show. I think I'll be catching the performances online the next day and maybe throwing some votes Thia's and Casey's way on americanidol.com

A little more Jane...

2011-03-01T21:20:00.000-08:00

I'm really going to miss her...

Another bad-ass big-busted babe that will be missed...

2011-03-01T18:29:00.000-08:00

Today is the 4th anniversary of my dear mother's passing, and I am unbelievably depressed. I'm not sure why this year I'm feeling it in my bones more than last year. I should be getting over "it" by now shouldn't I? I guess I've been thinking about mortality a lot more over the past few months so her being gone seems more acute.

Jane Russell passed away last night. My mother LOVED Jane and thought she was one of the most beautiful actresses around. She thought of Jane Russell as the voluptous queen that all busty women should look up to. Of course my favorite thing that Russell ever did was Gentlemen Prefer Blondes with of course Marilyn Monroe. As a kid, I never understood why all the men in the film were gaga over Marilyn. She was pretty of course, but how could you care about her when there was Jane?!

The 2011 Oscars are 2 days away!!!!

2011-02-25T13:42:00.000-08:00

I can't tell you how jazzed I am about the upcoming Academy Awards ceremony on February 27, 2011. Even though a lot of the winners are foregone conclusions (congrats Portman, Firth, and Bale!), the fact that two of the most winsome and fresh-faced entertainers on Earth are hosting can't be bad right? Have you seen any of the promotional ads for the ceremony that ABC's been running this month? So funny.

And supposedly Hathaway and Franco are going to be doing various skits where they recreate scenes from famous movies from the past like Gone With The Wind. Is this why Franco posted behind-the-scenes footage of an homage the two do to Grease? Hey, no complaints here.

For those wondering about the results of my attempt to complete the Oscar Death Race this year, I am currently 8 movies away from the finish line, and although I'll be seeing two more before Sunday, I'm still going to fall short. But hey! I will have seen FIFTY of the 56 movies nominated for this year's ceremony, so I am pretty damn proud and pleased with myself. Sarah Bunting, who started this competition, wrote about her progress/results on NPR.org yesterday. I can't believe she made it so close. Damn Shakespearean movies. And foreign ones from Canada and Denmark! I'm sure that I could probably find at least some of these on an illegal Torrent site, but that's CHEATING so I'm not even going to try.
I'd tell myself "better luck next year" except that I think I was incredibly lucky that I happened to see so many of the nominated films at the 2010 SIFF, and I can't imagine getting that lucky again.

Come Sunday you will find me hanging out with some dear friends, cocktail in hand, snarking on people's outfits, talking about how dreamy James Franco is, and competing to see who can guess the most correct winners of the Oscar's 24 categories. Hope you have a similarly enjoyable experience!

Oscar Death Race 2011 - One week left

2011-02-20T18:18:00.000-08:00

As mentioned previously, I'm participating in an Oscar Death Race to see if I can watch all 56 Academy Award nominated films for 2011.
I started out with a good base of 21 of the 56 movies under my belt, and I've slowly made my way to my current tally of 42 movies. I never expected to complete all 56, and even though I expect to knock out a few more in the coming days, I know I won't make it, but it's been really fun getting this close to the goal.
127 Hours*

~~Alice in Wonderland~~
~~Animal Kingdom~~
Another Year
Barney's Version
~~Biutiful~~
Black Swan*
~~Blue Valentine~~
~~The Confession~~
~~Country Strong~~
~~The Crush~~
~~Day & Night~~
~~Dogtooth~~
~~Exit Through the Gift Shop~~
The Fighter*
~~GasLand~~
~~God of Love~~
~~The Gruffalo~~
~~Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows I~~
~~Hereafter~~
~~How To Train Your Dragon~~
~~I Am Love~~
The Illusionist
In A Better World
Incendies
Inception*
~~Inside Job~~
~~Iron Man 2~~
The Kids Are All Right*
Killing In The Name
The King's Speech*
~~Let's Pollute~~
~~The Lost Thing~~
~~Madagascar, a Journey Diary~~
~~Na Wewe~~
Outside The Law
Poster Girl
~~Rabbit Hole~~
~~Restrepo~~
~~Salt~~
The Social Network*
Strangers No More
Sun Come Up
Tangled
~~The Tempest~~
~~The Town~~
Toy Story 3*
~~TRON Legacy~~
True Grit*
~~Unstoppable~~
~~The Warriors of Qiugang~~
Waste Land
The Way Back
Winter's Bone*
~~Wish 143~~
Wolfman

Television in Review - 2011 Grammy Awards

2011-02-14T13:00:00.000-08:00

It's been years since I've actually watched the live Grammy telecast all the way through. But last night, hopped up on cold medicine and in a sated food coma from a delicious roast chicken meal prepared by my friend John, I was in just the right mood and position to watch the show. All 3 and a half hours of it! And here are some of the random thoughts that I came away with.

Almost 85 minutes in and they had only given one award out for best Pop Album. It was disconcerting, but gave the message loud and clear that the night's telecast would be about the performances and not about the awards (most of which ended up being given out earlier in the day).
Suprises of the night:

Arcade Fire winning Album of the Year and denying Lady Antebellum the top 3 sweep

Esperanza Spalding winning Best New Artist and denying the Bieber dominance. I love her and didn't even know she was nominated in this category. When her name was announced, the shock on everyone's faces was awesome!

It's official. Katy Perry has won. I kind of love her now. Damn it.

I still don't really get the Bruno Mars thing. But after last night's incredible performance with Janelle Monae and B.O.B., I'm starting to see the appeal.

As much as I loathe Bob Dylan "singing" live, I enjoyed the hell out of the performance he did with Mumford and Sons and The Avett Brothers. Mostly because it contained more Sons and Brothers than Dylan.

Cee Lo Green dressed like a 1975 Elton John and singing Muppets (and Gwyneth Paltrow in a cat suit and killer pumps) makes anything better.

Lady Gaga is a fawking nut but she sure can write a catchy song. And knows her audience. But seriously I don't get the continuing comparison to Madonna or understand why people think this new song copies her?

RIP John Barry

2011-02-01T10:51:00.000-08:00

I've already tweeted about my heavy heart in hearing Sunday evening that one of my favorite movie music composers, John Barry, had died of a heart attack at the age of 77. Barry composed many of my all-time favorite film scores. He, along with Ennio Morricone, was much loved by my mother, who appreciated movie scores, and what the music actually did for and to the film more than anyone I've ever known.
She passed this appreciation on to me at a fairly early age; so I was the dorky kid who was buying the Somewhere In Time soundtrack album in the Classical section of the Tower Records store, while all of my friends were buying the latest Duran Duran and Cure albums. Don't get me wrong, I was just as much into the new wave music, but when I wanted to daydream in my room or when I was writing my little short stories and living in my own fantasy world in my head, I would always turn on the John Barry music.

My favorite of the Barry scores may be the music he wrote for the cheesetastic film Somewhere In Time. The main theme evokes such emotion; love, loss, memory, longing, joy. It's so beautiful.
The most well-known John Barry music is probably all of the James Bond movie themes he composed in the 1960s and early 70s. And of course his Oscar and Grammy winning top ten hit "Born Free".
One of his Oscar score wins was for another favorite of mine, the music from Out of Africa. Barry's score and Meryl Streep are the only good things about that bloated film.

If you're interested in listening to some of John Barry's movie scores, I recommend downloading the album "Moviola". Rest in peace dear sir. I hope my mother gets to meet you up in heaven.

Random Thoughts About Things You Don't Care About - "Valentine's Day" edition

2011-01-30T20:16:00.000-08:00

Last night I got home from a dinner party and although it was almost 11, I wasn't tired, so I decided to watch a movie. Instead of being smart and diligent and watching Animal Kingdom, thus crossing off another movie and category in the Oscar Death Race, I instead decided to watch the ridiculous movie Valentine's Day, which my Tivo for some reason decided I needed to see.

First thing you need to know about this movie is that it's a Garry Marshall film. Enough said right? The next thing you need to know is that it's done in that scattered, 25 different stories that all link up somehow, Pulp Fiction style that sometimes works in movies but more often does not. In Valentine's Day it just comes off as lazy; lazy directing, writing, and acting. The plot is basically about a bunch of different people in Los Angeles dealing with the joys and horror of February 14.

It wasn't awful. I mean, I watched the whole thing and only rolled my eyes like 7 times; usually during any scene with either/both Taylor Swift or Taylor Lautner. But there are a ton of things wrong with this movie.
First, it's too long. There's no reason this damn movie needed to be over 2 hours long. It's like 135 minutes! Also, there are too many characters/actors/stories in it. Do you recall hearing about the HUGE cast when this movie came out last year? The fact that Jamie Foxx, Shirley MacLaine, Anne Hathaway and Geore Lopez are all in a movie together is ridiculous, not to mention Ashton Kutcher, Taylor Lautner, Bradley Cooper and Julia Roberts. Y'all, believe me when I tell you that I haven't even listed half of the cast; this thing is so bloated with stars it's ridiculous.
Which leads me to wonder - what was in it for them? I don't think the budget was big enough for everyone to get a huge paycheck, and except for maybe Kutcher, all of the actors had roughly the same amount of screen time - 8 minutes. Does Garry Marshall still have enough clout and power in Hollywood that people like Jennifer Garner and Queen Latifah agree to appear for 15 collective minutes in one of his films? Also, what does Marshall have on Julia Roberts? Pretty Woman was over 20 years (!) ago; she can't possibly feel like she still owes him for something, can she? Did she lose a bet?
Roberts' character's story was probably the most touching. And I'll admit that the "twist" or reveal or whatever that her character and Bradley Cooper's had at the end of the movie actually surprised me. I know I know...it was 1 o'clock in the morning! I was tired. But damn was I annoyed that there wasn't more to the romantic reveal of Cooper and Eric Dane being gay lovers. You have these two hot men in your movie, as BOYFRIENDS and we don't even get to see them kiss? That's just cruel.

2011 Oscars - Nominations, Death Races, and Opinions

2011-01-25T14:21:00.000-08:00

It's one of my favorite times of the year! The 2011 Academy Awards nominations were announced this morning. Considering how whack-ass the noms were for the Golden Globes this year, I was worried that we were going to have some awful choices for Oscar nominations, but that didn't come to pass and for the most part I am very pleased.
A lot of the categories are sort of no-brainers for me (just give Christian Bale and Aaron Sorkin their Oscars now), but the category I'm the most excited and torn about is Best Supporting Actress. How am I supposed to choose between Melissa Leo and Amy Adams's performances in The Fighter, much less having the awesome Hailee Steinfeld in the mix to complicate things.

Sarah Bunting at TomatoNation is also doing her annual Oscar Death Race, and this year I'm going to participate. Every year I try (and usually succeed) to see every film nominated for Best Picture, and as I suspected yesterday, I've already seen all of the Best Pic noms for 2011. Woo hoo!
So I was definitely feeling the need to up my game a bit, and this year's Death Race with its 56 movies nominated in 24 categories is right up my alley. Will I succeed in seeing all 56 films? Probably not. Wolfman is after all one of them. But I'm going to try my damndest. As of day one I've already seen 21 out of the 56 movies, and completed 10 of the 24 categories.

Wish me luck! Or better yet, join me in the fun.

NBC Thursday Night Comedy is BACK!!!!

2011-01-20T13:24:00.000-08:00

Anybody else as excited as me about the return of Parks And Recreation tonight on NBC at 9:30? If you're not watching this amazingly hilarious show; if you gave up on it after watching the first couple of, albeit weak, episodes in early 2009; YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE MISSING.
Please, I beg of you, watch/record tonight's episode. The late 2009/2010 season was some of the greatest comedy television ever produced. Don't worry about not starting from the beginning or thinking you can't catch up. It doesn't matter. The writing, the characters, the acting, everything is so funny and well done that it doesn't matter. Jump right in folks!

UPDATE on Things that blew my mind

2011-01-20T10:49:00.000-08:00

Last week, I posted about my shock at finding out that radio personality Jesse Thorn isn't even 30 years old yet.
Well, this week came an even bigger shock - I know Jesse Thorn's mother! Our mothers were very close friends back in the 1970s. In fact, I have a picture of Jesse Thorn's mom hanging in the entry way of my house!
The story of how I discovered this crazy small-world coincidence is kind of funny.
I'm a little behind on my Jordan, Jesse, Go! podcast listening, so it was only yesterday morning that I began listening to episode #159 with Nick Adams from a couple of weeks ago. About 5 minutes in, the guys started talking about Wesley Snipes and my mind immediately went to a story that my aunt Claudia (my mom's best friend) told me about meeting him once.
No sooner was that thought bubble floating around in my head, when Jesse Thorn started talking about his aunt Claudia, his mother's best friend, and the story he told was the same as mine!!!

Anyway, I screamed out loud as he continued talking about Claudia and it all came to me - OMFG, Jesse MOTHERF*CKIN' Thorn is the son of my mom's friend Judy! I don't know why I've never connected this. I've always heard about Judy's kid being on the radio, but for some reason I thought he was some DJ in San Francisco. And because until just recently I thought that Jesse Thorn was in his late 30s, and I knew Judy's son to be in his late 20s, there was no way for my brain to put two and two together.

It's definitely been the best thing that's happened to me all week. I look forward to reconnecting with Judy. I feel like my mom is orchestrating this whole thing from above. Thanks mommy!

We'll always have "Campus Man"

2011-01-14T16:36:00.000-08:00

You guys! John Dye just died! I never watched that drecky show Touched By An Angel, so I really don't know anything about Dye's career in the 1990s. But when I was 16 I had the biggest crush on him.
Well, it was really a crush on his character Todd Barrett from the ~~cheesetastic~~ groundbreaking film "Campus Man" (which believe it or not was based on a true story of an Arizona State student who sold a beefcake calendar featuring a bunch of his jock friends in the early 80s to help pay his tuition).

I loved Todd Barrett. He was my totally dreamy ideal of what a "college guy" was. Smart, ambitious, not overly athletic but not schlubby, funny, cute but not agressively so, awesome feathered John Taylor-esque hair.
I was super disappointed when I finally got to college and figured out that the dudes around me weren't going to live up to that expectation. Anyway, John Dye I hope you're up there in heaven getting touched, kissed and whatever else by the angels.

Don't have the time or the inclination to try and find an out-of-print copy of Campus Man to watch?

Have no fear, this "lady" (I assume) has taken the time to capture really crappy screen shots and give a SCENE BY SCENE recap of the entire movie. It's just like being there.

Things Blowing My Mind - for the week of January 10, 2011

2011-01-12T15:09:00.000-08:00

I love America's Radio Sweetheart Jesse Thorn and regularly listen to a number of MaximumFun.org podcasts featuring him including Jordan Jesse Go, The Sound of Young America, and Judge John Hodgman. And even though I've seen Jesse Thorn in person, I recalled him looking like a younger version of Peter Sagal from NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. I thought he was a tall man with short dark hair who was in his late 30s.
But then I listened to him on a podcast relate a story about his stepmother where he was talking about being in 4th grade in like 1990 and I was like WTF?!!

Jesse Thorn looks like this -

Totally different than I thought or recall when I saw him at Bumbershoot in 2008. And he's only 29 fucking years old. Jeezus, I'm old.

I know I'm the only person on Earth who is shocked by, or who even cares about this revelation, but it was truly something that blew my mind. And kind of ruined my fantasy if I'm being honest.

Random Thoughts - "Little Darlings" movie edition

2011-01-03T12:54:00.000-08:00

So I watched one of my favorite movies from childhood last night - Little Darlings, starring Kristy McNichol and Tatum O'Neal as teen girls at summer camp competing to see who can be the first to lose their virginity.

There's no way this movie could get made today. These girls aren't even old enough to drive and the whole premise is them casually trying to have sex first to win a bet. Sure, we've seen this type of plot in other teen comedies like American Pie etc., but usually involving older male teens, and never treated so flippantly.
The late 70s/early 80s were such different times; this movie is too innocent and yet too sophisticated at the same time to be something that could be viable these 30 some years later. Wow, acknowledging that this movie is over 30 years old is really hard for me to swallow. I AM SO OLD.

Other thoughts that struck me as I watched -
Evidently in 1979 it was perfectly okay for 15 yr olds to smoke cigarettes right out in the open, ALL THE TIME. Angel smokes on the school bus going to camp, in their cabin, during swimming lessons, while watching the camp talent show...none of the counselors, or the other kids, or her mom, ever seem to have a problem with her smoking butts every 10 minutes.

This movie, along with Meatballs from the same year, was the number one reason that I BEGGED my parents to let me go to camp in upstate New York. I wanted to experience everything that these girls were doing at Camp Hiawatha. And while my camp experience in 1981 and 1982 was pretty great, it never lived up to the expectations that I had set because of Ferris Whitney and Angel Bright.

Kristy McNichol was my idol! Sexiest tomboy alive.

I wanted to be Angel Bright, but I was totally Dana. You know, the brainy daughter of big-city progressive liberals, who quotes Shakespeare and listens to Rickie Lee Jones and Joni Mitchell while fantasizing about gettin' it on with her Philosophy professor in college.

I always forget that a pubescent Cynthia Nixon plays little hippie Sunshine in this film. She's awesome.

In one of my favorite scenes from the film, villainous Cinder has set up an elaborate seduction scene between the girl that she's backing in the bet Ferris (O'Neal), and counselor (and object of desire) Mr. Gary Callahan. Nixon's Sunshine is tasked to play background music near where Callahan is giving Ferris a swim lesson, and Cinder demands that Sunshine play something "sexy". On her recorder. Hee hee hee. Nixon promptly busts out a little Persian snake-charmer melody. Real sexy.
You know that this movie was made in 1979 because swarthy, short-shorts wearing Armand Assante is the hunk that all of the girls are lusting after. Mr. Callahan would not be considered hot these days.

The Angel Bright Guide to the Perfect Date -

Feather your hair with a round brush
Wear your prettiest purple tank top with your Levi's (cigarettes in the back pocket 'natch)
Pick up date from neighboring summer camp by pulling up in a "borrowed" canoe that you rowed across the lake yourself.
Row your date (because you are a badass that doesn't need the guy to row) down the lake to a secluded/abandoned boat shed.
Pack a 6-pack of Bud, extra cigs, and condoms in your rucksack.
Proceed to get your date so drunk that he passes out in his tighty-whities before you have a chance to make your move.

1980 Matt Dillon? So damn hot.

2010 Year-End Musings

2010-12-30T12:26:00.000-08:00

As I started to gather my thoughts around the 2010 year’s end, I looked back on blog posts that I made back in the beginning of January and am startled at the similarities to what I’m feeling/thinking currently.

Let’s see – I was complaining about how shitty a year 2009 had been (2010 has proven to be even more tumultuous); I was sick (I still am); dealing with old and/or infirm pets (still); and as I enter what will be the third year in my “new” house, I still haven’t adjusted or settled into it.
So were there any highlights in 2010? Well, maybe a few.

My top 5 Music Moments:

The dominance of Ray LaMontagne in my life; especially his song "Let It Be Me"
Songs from Glee – I couldn’t get enough of them. They made me love a Katy Perry song for crissakes!
Rediscovering the Little River Band after finding an old greatest hits cd buried in the trunk of my car. Move over Journey, LRB is my new karaoke go-to band.
Succumbing to Lady Gaga fever after resisting for two years
After decades of singing it in the shower and to myself in the mirror, finally performing “Where Is It Written?” from Yentl for a live audience in November 2010.

Top 2010 Movie Moments:

Never Let Me Go – quietly devastating

Inception - Clever and captivating

Brotherhood – harshly beautiful

Hipsters – amazing snapshot of 1950’s Russia

Black Swan – seriously and gloriously f*cked up

Top 2010 TV:

The WINTER OLYMPICS! And I actually got to go to Vancouver, albeit by my sad and lonely self, to see a couple of skiing events.
The SYTYCD All-Stars season which brought Pasha, Allison, Ade, Mark, and Neil back into my life.
New series – Modern Family, Justified, The Choir, Sherlock Holmes, Huge

Top 2010 Reading:

The Hunger Games trilogy came into my life
I got a Kindle!
The continued awesomeness of Melissa De La Cruz's young-adult vampire books the Blue Bloods series. It kicks all sorts of Twilight ass.
Lest you think I only read YA lit, I also enjoyed Pulitzer and National Book Award winners Tinkers, Great House, and The Imperfectionists

In 2010 I also participated with thousands of others in attempting to complete a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. I didn’t make it, but it was a great experience nonetheless.

For the past 3 years I’ve said that the coming the year couldn’t possibly be worse than the one that I just lived through, and then that year has tried its best to prove me wrong. I truly hope that 2011, a year filled with mystical and powerful numerological importance, will be the year of healing and happiness.

Happy New Year everyone!

Music Video Dissection - Xmas Edition

2010-12-23T12:48:00.000-08:00

Wham!'s Last Christmas:

Oh 80s George Michael, how I've missed you.
Andrew Ridgely really was sort of a non-entity in the band at this point wasn't he? It's a shame. He has a really good voice actually and wrote a bunch of their songs.
Okay, just where in Europe are they? Where they seem to have private ski lifts that just let you out in front of your huge 40 room "cabin".
1 min 10 sec mark - What kind of ski house/cabin doesn't have a walk way to the front door? These people have to schlep all of their luggage (filled with hair spray and mousse) over a wood fence and through the back yard.
Have you ever seen so many shoulder pads and pleated trousers in one place? (Men and women included)
So the premise here is that George was dating the girl that Andrew's currently boinking "last Christmas". uh huh, I think George might have been hooking up with the dude that brings in the firewood at the 1 min 35 sec mark.
I think my mom owned the white and blue window-pane checked jacket that Andrew Ridgely is wearing at 1 min 43 sec.
George Michael looks so pretty (and is wearing so much make up) wearing that fur-hooded coat at 1 min 54 sec. Also, with the fence climbing again. Ever hear of a gate?
2 min 20 sec mark - Oooh Sparkler Cake!
2 min 29 sec/3 min 15 sec - Let me get this straight. George gave this chick a "diamond" brooch the Xmas before and she has now regifted it to ANDREW?! That is so messed up on so many levels.
3 min 23 sec mark - There they go, having to climb over the fence again with all of their luggage and crap. A huge oversight in the design of this million dollar ski chalet.
4 min 17 sec mark - I love how only one guy brought skis, but the black lady is wearing ski goggles as like regular sunglasses.
And that's it. It just ends. There's absolutely no resolution. George's old girlfriend seems to be flirting with him and seems to regret her decision to move on to Andrew. George seems forlorn (hence the lyrics in the song) but in the end I guess realizes that he's better off with his new blond piece, then with someone who just takes perfectly ugly but thoughtful gifts of jewelry and gives them to her new boyfriend (who is also a friend).

Wow. Merry Christmas y'all!

Christmas came early this year!

2010-12-15T10:58:00.000-08:00

My boyfriend is single again! Yep, ScarJo's loss is my gain. I can't believe she initiated the split (allegedly); what a dumb woman.

In other celebrity break up news - Dexter's Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter also called it quits this week! I seriously can't believe this one. They seemed like such a great and happy couple. Was it his struggle with Hodgkin's last year that put a strain on their marriage? Was the sibling dynamic of their characters on Dexter finally too weird for them to handle in their real life off set? Inquiring minds...

Hey Oprah, stop trying to kill my boyfriend!

2010-12-14T13:10:00.000-08:00

(At least my baby got to enjoy a nice glass of wine afterwards)

Today, while making what turned out to be a VERY dramatic entrance on to the stage of the Oprah Winfrey Show, Hugh Jackman injured one of his beautiful eyes attached to his beautiful face.
This episode of Oprah was being filmed in Australia, where Hugh came on to the set down a zip-line that was attached to the nearby Sydney Opera House. Except he kind of pulled the brake too late on the line and knocked into one of the lighting rigs. I blame Oprah. I don't care if the stunt was Hugh's idea, I know in my heart that she encouraged him to do something stupid so that she can have every episode of her final season be as memorable as possible. Well mission accomplished lady!

2010-12-09T14:42:00.000-08:00

Best thing I've seen all week -

I know this is hard to read, but I encourage everyone to check the real one out on NBC.com or here to see it a little better. Some choice bits include:

Crying - Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon
Friends - 1 to 3 is sufficient
America - The only country that matters. If you want to experience other "cultures", use an atlas or a ham radio.
B.O. - Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice.

Damn, I miss Ron Swanson and Parks & Recreation. When does the new season start again?

REALLY?!!!

2010-12-08T14:18:00.000-08:00

What the hell?! Is this what we've come to Washington state leaders? "WashYourHandsIngTon"?!!!!!? I'm embarrassed for us all.

Holiday Torture at its best

2010-12-07T16:42:00.000-08:00

Every end of year holiday season is filled with traditions and comforting touchstones that are revisited annually. You're allowed to get away with eating too much, acting like a goofy kid about presents, wearing awful holiday-themed clothing, and generally being a sentimental sap about everything and any thing.

An example of this is the holiday movie theme programming that takes over the Hallmark and Lifetime channels beginning around Thanksgiving and kicking into high gear the minute that December 1 hits. These channels air, and in many cases produce, a shit-ton of ~~holiday~~ Christmas (who am I kidding with this PC crap?) movies until the new year is upon us.
I'm "lucky" enough to not only have the regular Lifetime and Hallmark channels, which intersperse their Xmas movie roster with sitcom reruns and Martha Stewart, but to also have the specified movie channel versions for both networks, which exclusively play these sappy movies 24 hours a day.

Every year I complain about these movies; they're so bad, so earnestly cheesy, so tooth-achingly sweet. Yet every year I watch as many as I can without turning my brain to mush. And the plots! The scripts for these movies are beyond ridiculous; uneven story structure, stilted dialogue, horrendous pacing; and that's not even getting into the bad acting that happens in 99.8 % of these things. Even when the producers have managed to snag decent actors there's no saving some of these. Let me describe what happens in three (three?! yikes) of the movies that I've watched (so far) this week - title, plot, actors etc. may or may not be 100% accurate:
"The Good Witch's Gift" - This is a Xmas themed sequel to I guess a series of Lifetime movies about a good witch played by the chick from JAG, who's married to the police chief (played by hottie Chris Potter) in some small town.
*This is one of the first rules that you need to understand about ALL of these movies - they take place in these weird small towns. Even when the movies start out with our protagonists living/struggling in the big bad city, they always end up in a small town. These towns are the most generic and slightly creepy places you've ever seen, where everyone knows everyone and people are totally nosy and always giving advice that nobody wants; always set in locales that are either generically "California-y" or "New Englandy", but are almost exclusively filmed in Canada.
Anyway, in this Good Witch movie some dude that has just been paroled after doing time for robbing the town's bank, comes home to supposedly bond with his child and ex-wife. The chief suspects that he's returned to dig up the bank cash that he thinks the dude's hidden somewhere because it was never located. In the meantime the police chief and the Good Witch (who is like psychic or something? and is constantly manipulating all of the characters in this movie to do the "right" thing) are planning their Xmas eve wedding that the whole town is invited to. There's also lots of other little side stories that are too boring or nonsensical to mention. One thing that confused me which I'm sure was explained in one of the previous Good Witch movies, was that this whole town seemed to know that the Good Witch was a witch and no one batted an eye or seemed to care. Very odd.
Verdict/Grade = because they've got Chris Potter going for them I sat through the whole thing without bleep-blooping forward through any of the cheesy parts. I give it a B, which is high marks for one of these.

"The Christmas Shoes" - It's only the hypnotic power of Rob Lowe's endless hotness that allowed me to sit through even half of this cheeseball movie. Right out of the gate you need to know that this movie is from a book by some cheesy Christian romance author, who in turn based her book on a country song by the same name. Yes, an actual country Christmas song inspired a book that inspired a movie. The plot of the song/book/movie is that some high-powered asshole lawyer who never has time for his family and hates Christmas and kittens encounters a poor young boy who has a mom that's dying of cancer and she used to be a dancer? or play the flute or something musical and the kid wants to buy his mom this pair of red shoes for Christmas since it will be her last one on Earth. The kid's dad is a real sad-sack who is drowning his sorrow in booze and can't help the kid out with money or attention so that's where Rob Lowe comes in. And he takes pity on the kid for some reason and ends up buying the shoes for him and then learns the meaning of Christmas and puppies and changes into *Awesome Dude (rule #2 - there will always be a character in the movie that has a radical personality change from mean/stressed/neglectful/drunk to winsome/extraordinarily kind). Verdict/Grade = C; Rob Lowe's beauty only goes so far

"The Christmas Blessing" - So get this, the greedy producers evidently saw how well "Shoes" did and decided to make a sequel that supposedly takes place 18 years after the first story but in fact was only filmed 2 years later. Rob Lowe is back in a cameo (with seemingly cake flour brushed into his sideburns to indicate the passage of time) as the high-powered attorney who is now so good and wonderful and milque-toast that it's embarrassing. Lowe is in the film for a total of 4 minutes as the rich dude who saves the day at the end of the movie by buying a house that will be turned into a daycare center. Don't worry, it doesn't make sense even if you've watched it. The movie's main characters are played by Neil Patrick Harris, henceforth called Doogie, who plays the kid from the "Shoes" movie all grown up and a doctor in "Boston", and my favorite vehicular manslaughterist Rebecca Gayheart as a teacher who's just moved to the small "New England" town from Texas. Also featured is the guy who played the dad in the original, but this time sporting a beard that they also flour dusted, and the annoying kid from Two & A Half Men filling in the *child role in the movie. (Rule #3 - there's always at least one kid who has a major plot point)
The plot for this one is all over the place. Doogie is an intern at some hospital in the city and loses a teen on the OR table and freaks out about it and decides to "take some time to heal" by running home to his papa. We're supposed to figure out that Doogie has run home a lot over the years when things got too stressed, and spends his time there reminiscing about his mom and making his dad sad all over again. So this time when he comes home on "vacation" from the hospital he finds that his dad is in full-on empty nester mode; he plans on selling the house and his successful mechanics shop, dating his bookkeeper, and possibly buying a RV and moving to Florida. Doogie is not happy about any of this because he is a selfish wanker. Doogie starts volunteering for an after school program at the elementary school and starts dating Gayheart's character named Callie. One of the kids on the basketball team that Doogie coaches is the 2 1/2 kid who is also really poor, with a sad-sack drunk of a dad and a dead mom (just like Doogie was!). There are about 5 million story threads tangled up here that are so poorly thought out it's frustrating. Doogie's dad gave the Christmas Shoes to charity and 2 1/2's dad picked them up and gave them to 2 1/2 and told him they were his dead mom's dancing shoes. These shoes by the way? Are the fugliest things I've ever seen in my life (red silk brocade flats (!) with gold filigree on them), but throughout the movie they are held aloft like they're Dorothy's ruby slippers.
So randomly an hour in we find out that 2 1/2 has like Marfan's syndrome and his little heart is so diseased that he only has a little time left to live. Both the kid and the dad act like they've known this the whole time but they never actually say this so you're left feeling weird (this won't be last time this happens). Then we find out that Callie has Hep B and cirrhosis of the liver (the hell?!) and will die on Xmas Eve (just like Doogie's mom!) if she doesn't get a liver transplant. It is also not clear if/how long Callie has known about her illness. Such poor writing. If the ending hasn't already been telegraphed for you, 2 1/2 of course dies and his dad gives Callie the boy's liver. And right before the kid died he gave Doogie back the shoes to give to Callie. ANYWAY, the movie ends with some charity concert for the daycare center and who shows up but none other than Blake Shelton who is a real-life country music star and who thanks Rob Lowe's character for bringing him there to perform. As if a Grammy winning artist would really fly all the way from Nashville to a small town in ~~"New England"~~ Canada for some dumb daycare center opening. Wait! Were the producers being all meta and is Blake Shelton the guy who sings "The Christmas Shoes" song? Meh, I don't care enough to look it up. Verdict/Grade = C-/D+; if I ever meet NPH, the first thing I'm asking him is about this turd.

Next on the my viewing docket this week is something called "Comfort & Joy" with Nancy "don't go messin' with Jo Polniaczek" McKeon. And I'll hopefully be recording one of my holiday movie faves starring Heather Locklear about a sad-sack divorced mom who has a Christmas fling with a hot 20 year old. I can't remember the name of it, but that's what IMDB is for.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

TV Things and things

2010-12-01T13:03:00.000-08:00

Glee -

I really enjoyed the Sectionals episode this season. Even the cop-out of having New Directions and The Warblers tie in the end. I especially loved getting to see the spotlight on a few of the other kids - Santana rules! I've loved this second season of Glee, all the haters can suck it. And my love affair with Darren Criss continues. Sigh...Blaine is dreamy.

Top Chef: All Stars -
Premieres tonight! I can't wait. And except for Elia and Jamie (who I wish were replaced by Kevin and Stefan), I am really excited about all of the contestants for this season. There are so many of my faves here that I really don't care who wins (but would be over the moon if Carla or Richard Blaise took the prize)

America's Next Top Model - The finale is tonight. I've really come to HATE Ann but I fear that she will win tonight. I didn't think that it would come down to her and Chelsea; I really wanted Kayla to be in the top two. But it's been a fun season; and I haven't hated Tyra Banks nearly as much as I usually do.

Gossip Girl - I'm this close to being oVAh this show. Can Juliet please die now? This revenge storyline is getting old.

Real Housewives of Atlanta and Beverly Hills - I've had a Tivo break-up with the Atlanta ladies. Even with the slightly interesting Nene storyline developing, I feel my soul dying each minute I waste with them.
But Beverly Hills! I love love love these ladies. Camille Grammer is a total nut-job but so fun to watch her delusional confessionals.

The Fashion Show - Shut up David and Dominique! The challenge this week was do a time capsule outfit. That had to incorporate plaid in some way because Iman loves plaid. It was very strange, and resulted in my sweet Ro Ro being eliminated but I'm still living for the second season of this show. Iman and Isaac Mizrahi continue to be awesome.

Writing a novel in 1 month = FAIL

2010-11-30T09:51:00.000-08:00

So here it is, the last day of November 2010 and I did NOT finish writing a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. Yes, yes I know that the month isn't technically over; I still have over 12 hours to churn out prose. But I have to start being realistic with myself; I only have just over 35, 000 words written - and they're not very good words at that.
No, I take that back, they're good words. It's my story that's shit. But it has potential. And for the first time in a long time I'm actually excited about seeing where the story goes. I just wish that I hadn't futzed around the first couple of weeks of November trying to figure it out, and then I wish I hadn't procrastinated as much as I did once I did figure the story structure out, blaming my lethargy on being sick etc.

So here I am a NaNoWriMo failure; but considering it was my first attempt, I'm pretty proud of myself nonetheless. I'd like to think that I will take some time in the coming weeks/months to finish and fine tune the novel that I started this month; but realistically I know that I probably won't. Instead I'm going to file it away, and maybe use it as an inspiration for next year's contest.

Speaking of procrastination and pep talks - the great Dave Eggers was asked by the NaNoWriMo coordinators to give us advice and these were his sage words:

Is procrastination a problem for you? Really? You think you have a problem?

Here's procrastination: The organizers of NaNoWriMo asked me three months ago to write this pep talk, and I'm only writing it now, after blowing three deadlines, after avoiding ten reminders. I was asked to write a pep talk for NaNoWriMo, and I'm actually writing it after the month started. So whatever procrastination problems you have, I probably have you beat. I'm the worst, and I'm getting worse every day.
It's a very strange thing, because we all think writing should be fun. That is, when I was temping through most of my twenties, wondering what it would be like to write for a living, hoping for such a life, I thought it might be pretty sweet. I thought if I ever got to write for a living, I would feel pretty lucky, and that I would be so appreciative that I would bound out of bed every day and, like a goddamned adult, I would write as much as I could every day, and get work done in a reasonable amount of time. Again, like an adult.
Instead, I need, on average, 8 hours sitting on my writing couch to get one hour of work done. It's a pathetic ratio. I stall, avoid, put off and generally act like someone's making me do some terrible job I never wanted to do. I blow pretty much every deadline I'm given.

Just like I blew the one for NaNoWriMo.

But then, when things are late, and I'm feeling like an idiot, and I feel like I'm letting down someone (like the people at NaNoWriMo, and you), I finally dig in and get started. And then I write, and I write in a fury, and I even, sometimes, enjoy writing.
And that's why I love NaNoWriMo. It gets you started. It gives you the impetus to finally start, and/or finally finish. Knowing there are thousands of others out there trying to do the same, who are using this ridiculous deadline as cattle-prod and shame deterrent, means goddamnit, you better do it now because you know how to write, and you have fingers, and you have this one life, and during this one life, you should put your words down, and make your voice heard, and then let others hear your voice. And the only way any of that's going to happen is if you actually do it. People can't read the thoughts in your head. They can only read the thoughts you put down, carefully and with great love, on the page. So you have to do it, goddamnit. You have to do it, and you can step back and be happy. You can step back and relax. You can step back and feel something like pride.
Then of course you'll have to revise it ten or twenty times, but let's not talk about that yet.

Write your goddamned book now. The world awaits.

D
Dave Eggers is the author of Zeitoun and What is the What.

Edited to add:
They've announced the "winner" of the 2010 Bad Sex in Fiction award. It goes to author Rowan Somerville for his book The Shape Of Her, a nothing sort of novel that was evidently self-published(?).
I have to say, even if it sounds like bragging, the one sex scene in the novel that I attempted to complete this month was a thousand times better than this crap that Sommerville wrote.

Awww Leslie, you'll always be my bachelor...

2010-11-29T10:54:00.000-08:00

By the time the movie Airplane! and the tv show Police Squad came along in the late 70s to establish actor Leslie Nielsen as a comedic juggernaut, I had already been in love with him for years.
See there was this little movie called Tammy and The Bachelor, starring one Debbie Reynolds, that had been brought into my life by my grandmother Kay who adored all things Debbie. The first time I ever watched it with her, my grandmother whispered in my ear about 5 minutes into the film, "You're about to see the most gorgeous man this side of your grandpa." And into the frame came the beguiling face of Leslie Nielsen. "Leslie?!" I asked incredulously, "what kind of name is that for a boy?" But wisely my grandmother told me to just forget about his name and enjoy the movie (and the view). And that I did. My crush was born.

Later it grew as he became the silver-fox funny man of my dreams. And then Dorothy had to go and marry him on the Golden Girls,...never mind that's a story/rant for another time.
Suffice to say, you will be sorely missed Mr. Nielsen.

Dr. Drew in the hizZouse!

2010-11-29T10:40:00.000-08:00

Addiction medicine specialist, drug counselor to the stars, and all-round hottie Dr. Drew Pinsky is getting his own show on CNN's sister station Headline News. It's supposedly going to be starting up early Spring 2011 and be an interview talk-show style like Larry King. I love Dr. Drew, and have enjoyed him the couple of times he's filled in for the aforementioned King as host on his show. I hope it just doesn't turn out to be a another sort of Love Line rehash though.
I've always loved Dr. Drew's advice but hate the dumbasses that call in to get it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-24T16:09:00.000-08:00

A heartfelt thank you goes out to all of my friends and family with a wish of good times, spent with good company, eating good food. Don't forget to put on your Joey Tribiani "Thanksgiving pants"!

Just what I need to make myself feel better

2010-11-24T12:29:00.000-08:00

I am currently down for the count with a serious sinus infection, but am gazing at this magnificent magazine cover and starting to feel a little better:

Oh Ryan, thanks for the boost!

2010-11-18T10:51:00.000-08:00

Yes, I'm in one of those moods today. I've come down with a cold and I'm really pissed off about it. I HATE BEING SICK. And I'm worried that I won't be able to sing that well in my recital on Saturday, so I'm irked about that too.

Update on NaNoWriMo writing project - I'm about 26,000 words in. I'm not confident that I can finish the remaining 24K words needed to complete this in just 13 days but we'll see.

Stop F*cking Up the Holiday Season, KRWM!

2010-11-16T10:44:00.000-08:00

I've ranted about this before, but it bears being complained about again. The Seattle radio station that I use as my alarm clock wake up, "WARM" 106.9, changes their format from adult contemporary to Holiday music every year in November.
But pretty soon I'm afraid that they'll just give in altogether and start the Christmas music as soon as Halloween is over. This year KRWM began playing their "all holiday hits, all the time" play lists the day after Veteran's Day. The fact that I had to wake up to Andy Williams singing about "the most wonderful time of the year" before we were even two weeks into November enraged me to no end.
I try to follow a strict "no holiday music before Thanksgiving" rule with my own personal collections, and this has already been tested this year because the singing group that I'm in has already been practicing the pieces for our holiday concert on December 18. But I was sort of able to compartmentalize this is my head and not think of those songs as Christmas music.
But I can't control all of the stuff going on around me and it's annoying me. It's not only the radio that I have to contend with - grocery stores, clothing stores (shame on you Banana Republic!), movie theater lobbies are all playing holiday music. iTunes is torturing me with enticements of free MP3s of new holiday pop songs, and advertising the hell out of the Glee Christmas album (goddammit! I won't pre-order it no matter how much you tempt me with the adorable Chris Colfer and Darren Criss singing Baby It's Cold Outside. But I'm only human, please stop!)
I'm already not looking forward to the 2010 holiday season for a myriad of personal reasons. And I LOVE Christmas music and rely on it putting me in a better mood. But if the world around me insists on smothering me with holiday good cheer this early on, I'm afraid that by the time Christmas actually rolls around I'll be on the verge of embarking on a homicidal rampage where everyone in my vicinity will feel my wrath.
Prepare yourselves Seattle.

Am I a bad Indian?

2010-11-15T14:55:00.000-08:00

Okay, confession time - I don't find the term "American Indian" offensive.

As someone who can claim full heritage in more than two first nation tribes in the United States, I know I should probably care more about the argument over the political correctness of this name, but I just don't. And while I'm confessing here, I'll just go ahead and come clean that I also don't find any of this country's sports teams with Native American-themed mascots offensive either. These are shameful opinions for the daughter of two prominent AIM activists to have and share with the world.
I think it's sort of ridiculous that the NCAA has spent an enormous amount of time and money implementing their 2005 rule that colleges can't have Native American mascots; or that several colleges have wasted even more time and money choosing to fight this rule in court. The University of North Dakota is the latest school to lose their case for keeping their "Fighting Sioux" mascot. They were the last of the colleges to still be fighting the regulation (their case has been going on for almost 2 years). They have to come up with a new mascot and officially get rid of everything with the Sioux figure head and logo by next June.
Of the two Dakota Sioux tribes, the Spirit Lake tribal council has been overwhelmingly supportive of the university keeping the "Fighting" mascot; it's the Standing Rock tribe that opposes it and refused to budge. UND officials were hoping that they'd get to be grandfathered in with an exception like Florida State was when the Seminole nation (including my card-carrying AIM activist father) voted unanimously to allow FSU to keep its mascot and logo.
Redskins, Indians, Warriors. People wearing wigs and headdresses, or braiding their hair into a pig-tail on each side of their head and wearing a headband.

Young men wearing fringed outfits as they jump around on their playing fields and cheer their teams. Plastic tomahawks. Fake war cries, with people slapping the palms of their hands against their mouths and making aiyee ahh sounds. NONE of this bothers me. Does that make me a horrible person?
Do you think even less of me when I tell you that I just ordered a University of North Dakota "Fighting Sioux" hoodie while they're still available?